Ask Me Help Desk - Will it work?

As you have all read before I am dealling with a break up and want some of the wonderful advice I have seen on here...
OK my situation me and my ex started dating when I was jr age 16 and she was a freshman age 15 dated for 2 1/2 years now I am 18 she is 17 after hs went to school 3 hours away this was hard but we made it had one break that lasted only 2 days and was all good came home for summer started fighting about every thing the big thing she wanted to be with her friends more but I wanted to be with her. I would hang out with her and her friends but I would be upset and not talk. Have been fighting like this for about 2 weeks she said a nuber of times she just doesn't know what to do anymore. Then on sat was at her house for a bit never really said anything to each other then had a fight she said she felt like we were "growing apart" then I went home and texted her saying how I was upset she was hanging out with her friends that night my one night off in 2 weeks she got mad and said we needed a break. Very hard for me. Did not talk to her the rest of the night Sunday morn put a nice card and rose on her car she texted thanks I said your welcome that was it. Then latter that day I talked to one of her friends and she told me she told her that we were done and didn't like how was I allways upset and mad and didn't like her hanging out with her friends. She said she needed her space asked if there was a future for us she said maybe I said I loved her and didn't want this to be over she replied I love you to and don't want to be over but it too much right now and I need my space.
Then on Monday I texted her at work just saying how's it going she said good talk for a bit normal stuff then I asked if she would want to get something to eat after work but it was up to her she said not tonight maybe tomm. I said OK bu then she said it would be only as friends thought. That messed me up I said no please can we talk about this today in person she said no I don't have time for this today and I asked for my space so please respect that I said I am trying it just really hard without her and it can't be over we have had to many good times together.
So now here I am on Thursday 5 days after the break up I logged into her Facebook to see what she was up to and found a conversation she had with another guy, a chat was not public, he knows me and asked how things were, she said OK and that she had hung out with another guy but not hooked up then he said would you hook up with me and she said we so then they made plans to go into town. Then he said but what if your ex(me) sees us and tries to fight me she said he won't I told you he is crazy he would prob go and cut himself. So I don't know what she is doing
I love her with all my heart and just want to know if there is achance that we can get back together or not, this guy she said she would hook up with is the kind to get what he wants and get out so I just don't know.
Is she really over me how can she say she will hook up with this guy what do I do ? Please help and thanks for reading any other info you want let me know and ill tell you

Ugh!! What does it take for you to take a hint, and disappear from her life, and move on, as she obviously has.

You really need to stop the cyber stalking, and respect her space, and I can bet you'll get an earful, and rightfully so, about the evils of following your exes life, on those social network sites.

Your torturing yourself.

But how can she throw those 2 and 1/2 years away like that and not even care, she said she loves me and that she does not want this to end but then goes out and does this. O and we both work at the same place a race track once a week every Friday so tomm when I go to work how should I be or act it is going to be very weird some help please

Quote:

Originally Posted by plattman12

but how can she throw those 2 and 1/2 years away like that and not even care, she said she loves me and that she does not want this to end but then goes out and does this. o and we both work at the same place a race track once a week every friday so tomm when i go to work how should i be or act it is going to be very weird some help please

People are married 25 years and break up, 2 1/2 years is a small portion of your life ahead of you, take it for what it was and move beyond it. Don't worry about what she is doing on Facebook, delete her off your friends list, and start being happy again. Like you probably were before you met her. Don't say anything to her at work either. Life is as simple as you make it.

Just be happy, that you didn't waist two more years with her. If she is willing to move on just like that.

Good luck

It is normal for people to change. The two of you are young and her priorities are different from yours.

She wants to hang out with friends and right now hook out from someone other than you.

She already made it crystal clear the two of you are over so what more do you want?

Time for you to let go and move on. Stop stalking her because your life isn't over. Your going have other relationships and being stuck in denial isn't a healthy place to be.

I hope you don't cut yourself but instead learn and grow from this relationship. You can't make someone be with you and the faster you get this into your head the sooner your be able to heal.

Break-ups are tough but what does't kill you only makes you stronger.

All the fighting were signs of the end so you need to follow her lead and move on. I know it is easier said than done but it is doable and it starts with you.

Of the 3.2 billion women on this planet, are you absolutely certain that she's the only one for you? The odds point sooo far in the other direction.

There's a better one waiting, at the track, at school, at the store. Open your eyes.

You just can't accept her feelings have changed. One day you will, because you will be in that position where your feelings change too.

You need help, you are turning into a stalker, already cyber stalking her Facebook profile by signing in under HER account. Then reading PRIVATE conversations between her and another guy. You have NO RIGHT to be doing this, I see a restraining order in your future and very near future. If the cutting comment is true, you need to seek professional help.

STAY OFF HER FACEBOOK

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

You need help, you are turning into a stalker, already cyber stalking her Facebook profile by signing in under HER account. Then reading PRIVATE conversations between her and another guy. You have NO RIGHT to be doing this, I see a restraining order in your future and very near future. If the cutting comment is true, you need to seek professional help.

STAY OFF HER FACEBOOK

He should just delete her off his friends list for start and she should do the same, out of sight out of mind. Everyone knows Facebook is the stalker's paradise, as you can see just about every activity someone does.

Don't make someone a priority in your life if you are just an option in theirs.

It seems to me that what happened is you guys have always been together and the separation between you two made her realize that she might be missing something. It sounds like she is just trying to figure out if that is true. But either way after what she said about you I wouldn't waste time on that.
If she realizes what she had later maybe then but I wouldn't risk the self torture.. maybe you should consider seeing if there is something that you missed in life? Try dating around you are so young still. You have so many options just have fun.. I wouldn't date right away but I would stop checking her Facebook, myspace, stop looking for her in town, stop contact with etc... heal and then go from there.
This girl hurt you and you need to take the time to heal and move on.
Best of luck
Danielle

OK a bit of background info I have been dating this girl for 2 and a half years from the time I was a jr in hs and she was a freshmen, I am now a soph in college and she is a sr in hs. But your relationship was the best I loved her with all my heart and she loved me. All of our friends told us we were the perfect couple and joked about when we would get married. We both got to know each other familys very very close and were apart of their family going on trips and all the holidays.
But when I went away to school 3 hours away things turned, she now had no one to hang out with as we would spend every sec together and she had grown away from her friends, I on the other hand was making new friends at school and wanted to party and hang out with them, we fought a lot during the school year as she wanted me to sit in my room and do nothing because that is what she was doing. So then I come home from school for rthe summer and she now has all these friends and all my friends were back at school so now the tables had turned and I was sitting at home being upset and mad when she wanted to be with her friends..
So about 4 weeks ago she said she was sorry for making me misserable all the time and thought we needed a break... the next morn I bought a card and a rose and put it on her car. She text me thank you and I said your welcome and that was it.
The next day I talked to her best friend ans she said that my girlfriend told her that we broke up and it would take a long time for her to get over me cause we were together for so long.. so then I text my ex and asked so are on a break or broken up and is there a future for us? She said just give it time I don't want this to be over either but its just too much right now and I want to do my own thing
Then the next day I texted her and asked if she wanted to wanted to go for lunch or something and she said no she didn't have time for this today and that she asked for her space and wants me to respect that.
At this point I am a mess and don't know what will ever happen... we talk here and there always me starting a conversation then we finally pick a day to meet for lunch she said she would text me.. she never did so I text her and we planned to meet.. but then 5 min later she says well I am with katherine( her best friend) is it OK if she comes? I said well if your busy then that's fine. She said we are not busy.. so you don't want her to come? I said no its fine. So we meet for lunch never talked about US because her friend was there...
Then after we got done she text me and said thanks for lunch maybe we can go again sometime and I said you just let me know when your free and she said OK will do!
Well then I kept seeing that her Facebook status was "free for the rest of the day" or "no plans today bored" and she never texted me so that's messed up.. then one time when it said free no plans I texted her and asked if she wanted to meet up and she said maybe later if nothing else comes up.. which is stupid because I don't see how she can't give me 20 min out of her day after we dated for over 2 years
I just don't know what she is thinking and what she wants from all of this she told me that she loves me and always will but yet won't talk about US at all

OK, first loves are always hard to deal with. No matter what, you will always remember and love your first love. I'd like to share my story with you. 11 years ago I was a junior in HS. I dated my HS sweetheart for a few years and then when college started I moved to a different state. I was making friends and going out, but he was having a hard time meeting people at his college. I dropped out and moved back home to be with him. 3 months later he broke up with me. We dated off and on for the next 7 years, and now we've been together for 3 and are engaged.

What I'm trying to say is that if its meant to be it will be. Stop worrying about what she's doing and just "ride the wave". I know that my fiancé and I would never be working out now, had we not experienced other people and had some time apart to figure out who we were individually.

Respect her wishes for some space, and relish in yours. Figure out some things about yourself and focus on school.

Thank you very much I understand that she has been with me her whole hs time and now going into sr year she wants to experince the fun times and I don't blame her its just really hard to try and let her go. I know she she has to expereince other guys but that is what hurts the most her being with someone else... I have heard from a mutual friend that she is kind of seeing this other guy and is with him a lot. I don't see how she can do this and just forget about me

For you two to have been together for so long I don't understand why she wouldn't want to be with you anymore. Maybe the pressure of being alone got to her or her thinking about the future scared her I don't know. But I say the best thing for you to do is to move on as well (if she really doesn't want to be with you anymore). But I say that you should tell her that the one thing that she does owe you is a reason for her to not want to be with you anymore so you can have closure and go on with your life.

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago because we were fighting too much, we dated for 2 1/2 years which were wonderful, when we broke up she said she wanted to take a break and be friends and it wasn't forever and that she didn't want it to end and it was just too much right now. I did some things I regret after the break up like calling her and driving past her house. She has contacted me a couple of times and has been texting my mom, who she had a good friendship with. So I am confused because I know she has been kind of seeing these other guys, who are into drugs and the total opposite of me. And I am not just saying that. So my question is how do I go about making a move to go out to ice cream or a movie without coming off as someone that NEEDS her. If she never wanted anything to do with me why would she contact me? Thanks a lot!!

I understand the no-contact thing and have done it for the past 2 months but now she contated me and I just don't know what to think about it

Entire story merged

Ask yourself, what do you want?

Do you only want to be friends?

Do you want to reconcile?

Do you want to heal from this break up?

I have truly tried to heal and not think about her but I want her in my life and I want to work things out, I know things can not be the same as they were and things have to change but from the time we broke up we have talked about our relationship only once, I would think that she would at least talk to me about it and let me know what her feelings are

Well if that's the case, then let her know how you feel.

If she feels the same way, then great. Try to work it out by talking it out.

If she doesn't, then you need to accept and respect her wishes and let her go.