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-   -   Couple with new baby have bad sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=368825)

  • Jun 25, 2009, 06:54 AM
    laughoutloud
    Couple with new baby have bad sex
    Ever since the birth of my 18 month old baby our sex life has been non-existent and when it happened it was always a one way street. My partner just wanted to have quickkie and sex is a quick affair for his release. I felt he was selfish and he was always full of excuse and to add insult to injury he would roll over and fall asleep or started talking about other things such as baby, family, laundry or shopping list and then may be look at his blackberry. I find it so insulting that he tuned out as soon as he had done it. And he is always too tired or halfheartedly try to help me to pleasure myself. I have now given up and loathe sex with him. I feel very angry and humiliated. At first I told him how I felt and he apologised and he accepted it but every time it is the same thing over and over again. I feel he has no etiquette and I wanted him to take this lorry driver mcdonald fast food kind of sex to go to hell. I would cried for a long time in the toilet afterwards whilst he snored away. I know he loves me but he is insensitive and it makes me not wanting to love him anymore because I feel so hurt. We have had these conversations before he is not going to change is he?
  • Jun 25, 2009, 07:34 AM
    Romefalls19

    Sadly if the conversations are not working, then the money is on him not changing. Perhaps, don't have him do the quickie sex anymore, hold out. If he isn't going to help pleasure you, why pleasure him?

    Have you tried talking to a counselor or even talking to him in private in a low soft tone. Sometimes when we talk about issues that bother us our tone can seem demeaning or aggressive.
  • Jun 25, 2009, 07:38 AM
    88sunflower
    Well this may or may not be the case. I had friends that had a baby, he was in the delivery room and it pretty much scared him. I guess seeing the baby coming out he viewed sex in a different way now. Guess he thought it was meant for play not for babies to come out of. Either way maybe he is bored. Maybe you can try to get more spicey.
  • Jun 25, 2009, 09:44 AM
    talaniman

    Next time he wants his release, tell him me okay, but me first, and get on top, and get yours.

    Don't get frustrated, just make some adjustments. Tell him you want some foreplay, and a lot of it, or whatever you need, but make sure you get yours, before he gets his.

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