I'm a smart, intelligent young woman and currently doing a degree in Medicine, I know I am beautiful because I get lots of compliments from both guys and ladies. I do not have any problem attracting guys but I'm so stuck on a particular guy that has no regards for me.

I started dating this guy about a year ago; He's not really the average guy I would go for. Do not get me wrong, he's got a successful show biz business and so he gets in contact with a lot of girls. This I did not mind and I tolerated. I trusted him because I was in love with him and thought he felt the same way about me.
Until a few months ago, he called me up and told me he's girlfriend in the UK was visiting him. I was completely shocked, (We both in the US) because he never told me he had a girlfriend. He pleaded with me and told me all sort of lies about how he didn't like her, it was me he had stronger feelings for and was only using her for some deal they both had.
I took these lies and decided to move on.. . Because I knew he wasn't any good for me and my friends also told me I was too good to be treated as trash by a guy. While she was here for about a month, he didn't contact me and I also decided not to contact him, I know the pains I went through during that period, but I scaled through it and decided to move on.
About a week after she left, he calls me up and request to see me and I foolishly accept to hang out with him and I don't know how I forgave him and let him back into my life again. Now his girlfriend is coming to visit again next week and would be here for a month. I know its going to be the whole emotional trail again and I’ve allowed this dude take me for a fool and capitalize on the love I have for him.

I know this guy is not good for me, I understand that staying with him would only cause me more pain, I want to move on, but the problem is I do not know how to do this, I've tried and it doesn't seem to be working and its really killing me inside. I really need all the help I can get. Thank you.

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, Daisy. Pick one and just leave. Cut off contact. Don't explain. Don't justify. Just stop interacting.

When you say that you tried but it doesn't seem to be working, what was not working?

Tao

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by taoplr

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover, Daisy. Pick one and just leave. Cut off contact. Don't explain. Don't justify. Just stop interacting.

When you say that you tried but it doesn't seem to be working, what was not working?

tao

---

Like I've tried breaking off all communication with him but I just find myself running back. All it takes, is for him to feed me with more lies and I fall for them all. :confused:

I think your low self esteem is blinding you here. You say you get compliments, but that doesn't help if you yourself don't believe you are beautiful and worthy of being treated as such. From what I am getting you haven't really dated that much and this guy came along, you got attached to him very quickly, and now you are searching for a way out. If you had self value you wouldn't let this guy use you...

Kick him to the curb. It is hard to rid yourself of someone you love, but lets be honest. He is like a bad drug that you have some weird addiction to. You are in medicine, so you know the deal. Break the addiction and get on with the great life you have. The right guy will come a long, and it surely isn't this one.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Daisy2U

I'm a smart, intelligent young woman and currently doing a degree in Medicine, I know I am beautiful because I get lots of compliments from both guys and ladies.

---

But do you truly believe it? You can get all the compliments in the world but it don't mean a thing if you don't truly love yourself.

So when this other woman comes around, your out. When she leaves, your in. Hmmm... not a good way to run a relationship. If he truly loved you and wanted you he would keep this "deal" he has with her on a professional level. If they really have a deal.

Doctors are terrible patients, but as KC said, break this addiction by stopping contact.

I guess until you get sick and tired, of being sick and tired, you will do nothing to change your behavior.

As KC also said, you may be beautiful, and get many compliments, but until you love yourself more than you "love" him, you will keep putting up with his BS!!

For a woman, the hardest thing to accept is when he's just not that into you. He's not - if you're okay being the in town girlfriend, accept that that's what you are BUT it doesn't sound like you're okay with it. Relationship is done. Throw yourself into studies and become an awesome doctor. There's really not much else you can do.