Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Writing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=361)
-   -   Any ideas for my song? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=368345)

  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:30 PM
    none12345
    Any ideas for my song?
    Okay hey guys, it's the summer and I'm bored and I love music and nothing to do.

    Perfect opportunity to write a song. I've been writing A lot of lyrics and music but they are bits and I give up on them. Its time to write one FULL song and I'm not starting on a different one until I finish my first song.

    I need your help on helping me write some lyrics.

    This is what I got so far.

    Chorus:

    I've always been the same
    Its you not me who's changed
    You're falling out of place
    I hope you find your way

    Its kind of a song for the ex.

    Any imputs would be nice and will be recognized if this song somehow makes it big lol (I doubt it though, I am not a professional I'm just a musician ready to be found)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:45 PM
    BlackVY

    How about something like this... it doesn't rhyme, but its just an idea:

    I remember the day we parted
    I didn't say a word
    You said you had to leave me now
    I wasn't what you wanted

    You told me how I used to be
    You told me how I'm not
    I stood in front of you in silence
    But I was screaming my own thoughts...


    (Chorus)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:50 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BlackVY View Post
    How about something like this... it doesn't rhyme, but its just an idea:

    I remember the day we parted
    I didn't say a word
    You said you had to leave me now
    I wasn't what you wanted

    You told me how I used to be
    You told me how I'm not
    I stood infront of you in silence
    But I was screaming my own thoughts...


    (Chorus)

    Wow lol is that your own work black? It sounds pretty awesome! Lol I don't know if I can pull it off though I might have to rearrange some stuff lol

    Are you in a band or something? Lol
  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:55 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Wow lol is that your own work black? It sounds pretty awesome! lol i dont know if i can pull it off though i might have to rearrange some stuff lol

    Are you in a band or something? lol

    Haha.. yeah its my own stuff... I'm sitting here at work and just read your lyrics and just thought of putting a few words together. Lol! Didn't even know the tune or rhythm of your song, but oh well, if you could use some of those words, then go for it.

    Yeah I expected you to change some of the words around, but I just wanted to give you a possible idea of how the song could go. Since the chorus is that you haven't changed, well, there had to have been a break up and she must have said you changed and the reason you are singing the song now if to let her know things you didn't say when she was breaking up with you...

    Haha! Nah, I'm not in a band, I'm a boring software engineer... Lol! But I used to play the guitar a few years ago... just for fun... :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:59 PM
    albear

    In a way I don't care
    ,in a way I do
    Back then if you left,
    I knew id miss you

    Times change my dear
    And people do to
    That we cannot change
    ... ill never forget you



    (just throwing that in there don't know if you wanted it to rhyme or not :D)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:02 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BlackVY View Post
    Haha.. yeah its my own stuff... I'm sitting here at work and just read your lyrics and just thought of putting a few words together. Lol! Didn't even know the tune or rhythm of your song, but oh well, if you could use some of those words, then go for it.

    Yeah I expected you to change some of the words around, but I just wanted to give you a possible idea of how the song could go. Since the chorus is that you haven't changed, well, there had to have been a break up and she must have said you changed and the reason you are singing the song now if to let her know things you didn't say when she was breaking up with you...

    Haha! Nah, I'm not in a band, I'm a boring software engineer... Lol! But I used to play the guitar a few years ago... just for fun... :)

    lol I would ask you if you wanted to create a band but you live in australia, on the other side of the world. =P Canada here lol

    But yah here's a little background information. She told me I wasn't the same person as when she met me and things aren't the same anymore. She was cheating on me behind my back and was telling me lies of where she was. Her friends became more important and they told her how she doesn't go well with me and kept setting her up with this guy in their groupie. I chased her for a while and realized there's nothing I can do and its time to go on with my life. She looked for every excuse to leave me and I begged her not to go and things just got too bad I couldn't take the pain anymore.

    Yah sorry it was a little long but yah that was the situation. First love and everything and it was the hardest thing I had to do in my life.

    Now I only found her as an inspiration for this song I'm writing. =P
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:04 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    in a way i dont care
    ,in a way i do
    back then if you left,
    i knew id miss you

    times change my dear
    and people do to
    that we cannot change
    ....ill never forget you



    (just throwing that in there dont know if you wanted it to rhyme or not :D)

    Awesome albear! I like some of the stuff. Do you mind if I throw in a few lines here and there from it? =P and ill throw in some from black's too and see what I can mix up! Lol
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:08 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    lol i would ask you if you wanted to create a band but you live in australia, on the other side of the world. =P Canada here lol

    But yah heres a little background information. She told me i wasnt the same person as when she met me and things arent the same anymore. She was cheating on me behind my back and was telling me lies of where she was. Her friends became more important and they told her how she doesnt go well with me and kept setting her up with this guy in their groupie. I chased her for a while and realized theres nothing i can do and its time to go on with my life. She looked for every excuse to leave me and i begged her not to go and things just got too bad i couldnt take the pain anymore.

    Yah sorry it was a little long but yah that was the situation. First love and everything and it was the hardest thing i had to do in my life.

    Now i only found her as an inspiration for this song im writing. =P

    Haha... yeah, on the other side of the world, so unless it was an internet band, that might not work out too well. Lol! But all good, if I can help with the lyrics, I'm glad

    Sounds like the typical story of guy meets girl, all is good, but girl falls out of love and finds someone else, leaving guy with his heart ripped out. But its nice that you do wish she finds her way, most guys wouldn't.

    Musicians get their inspirations from lots of places. Just imagine you make it big one day and this girl hears the song... she will be so shocked and embarrassed. Lol! But I like albear's lyrics too. Maybe should try to incorporate some of that too.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:11 PM
    albear
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Awesome albear! i like some of the stuff. Do you mind if i throw in a few lines here and there from it? =P and ill throw in some from black's too and see what i can mix up! lol

    HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE MY POETIC CREATIONS.! :mad:... can you imagine :D

    Anyhoo in all seriousness its your song mate, if some of it can be put to use go for it :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:13 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BlackVY View Post
    Haha... yeah, on the other side of the world, so unless it was an internet band, that might not work out too well. Lol! But all good, if I can help with the lyrics, I'm glad

    Sounds like the typical story of guy meets girl, all is good, but girl falls out of love and finds someone else, leaving guy with his heart ripped out. But its nice that you do wish she finds her way, most guys wouldn't.

    Musicians get their inspirations from lots of places. Just imagine you make it big one day and this girl hears the song... she will be so shocked and embarrassed. Lol! But I like albear's lyrics too. Maybe should try to incorporate some of that too.

    I know! I hope she hears this one day on the radio and be shocked! Lol. Actually when I mean I hope she finds her way I kind of mean that and I kind of meant if she can actually do it with such a cold heart =P but I would say I'm over her now, well accepted that its over.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:17 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    I know! I hope she hears this one day on the radio and be shocked! lol. Actually when i mean i hope she finds her way i kinda mean that and i kinda meant if she can actually do it with such a cold heart =P but i would say im over her now, well accepted that its over.

    Then it's a good idea to use the first stanza of albear's lyrics, Maybe you could change the end of it to be something like I'm really over you...


    Quote albear:

    In a way I don't care
    ,in a way I do
    Back then if you left,
    I knew id miss you

    Times change my dear
    And people do to
    My feelings for you cannot change
    Because girl I'm over you...



    Lol! Just thought might shock the girl even more... lol
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:19 PM
    albear

    Yea to me that sounds much better :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:20 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE MY POETIC CREATIONS.!!!!:mad:.....................can you imagine :D

    anyhoo in all seriousness its your song mate, i tried to help and if some of it can be put to use go for it :)

    lol albear! You do have awesome poetic creations ill give you that but sometimes I can't pull something that good off lol!! I got to do it my own way =P
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:22 PM
    none12345

    Okay guys ill play around with your contributions and ill post it here whenever to see if you guys like it or not. XD
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:23 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by albear View Post
    yea to me that sounds much better :)

    Haha... I'm sure it could sound better than that, but this is just rough stuff.. just throwing around ideas.. I guess we are trying to get across the fact that this girl thought the guy changed and so she left, but she is the one who messed up and now she has to face the music so to speak... lol

    Songs of scorn are always fun... the best part is the punchline... always unexpected in a long that starts all loving and romantic... :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:23 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Okay guys ill play around with your contributions and ill post it here whenever to see if you guys like it or not. XD

    Lol sounds good... play around and go crazy... :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:27 PM
    none12345

    If I could describe the relationship it was like one step forward and two steps back. Im caught between what she's wanting from me and if I give that to her I just might disappear. It was never enough and I couldn't change her mind.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:29 PM
    albear
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    lol albear! you do have awesome poetic creations ill give you that but sometimes i can't pull something that good off lol!!! i gotta do it my own way =P

    Fair do's, no worries :)
    Good luck :)
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:30 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    if i could describe the relationship it was like one step forward and two steps back. Im caught between what she's wanting from me and if i give that to her i just might disappear. It was never enough and i couldnt change her mind.

    So mention something about that.

    I gave you all I could,
    It never was enough,
    I tried my best to be the best,
    But you never saw my heart...
  • Jun 23, 2009, 07:34 PM
    none12345

    okay! If you guys come up with something that sounds cool let me know =P

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:36 AM.