This is my first time on this site, so hopefully I get some help.

I was with my girlfriend for 9 years we where engaged and had been living together. A couple of weeks ago she came back from her friends house and told me that she was going to stay with her friend for a week or two. She came back home after the two weeks to tell me that she was leaving me because she was no longer in love with me, but still loved me. I have been an emotional wreck ever since and have scoured the internet for advice and answers. I constantly hope and dream that one day we will get back together and that she just needs time and space. Any one got any advice or help to get me out of this situation. Anything would be truly appreciated.

Has she explained as to any reason why she broke up with you?
Do you feel that the relationship had become a bit complacent?
You haven't really written much detail, so was it totally out of the blue?

This sprang up out of the blue? Were there any problems in the relationship before? If my wife packed up and said she was staying with her girlfriend for a week that is a red flag to me! Sounds to me that the relationship eroded and you either were oblivious to it or in denial. Did she explain in detail how she felt? I think we need more info if we are to answer this question.

PLEASE stop hoping shell come back.Youre only making it worse for yourself. She took the time off to figure it out.she says she loves you because you guys had history together so she cares about you like a close friend or somewhat. Even if she were to come back don't expect her.she might not come back.im sorry the truth is harsh.Try to concentrate on family friends or a hobby and especially you're job.that helps a lot.good luck forr u

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

Sometimes people have a change of heart. There's no much you can do about it, it's out of your control. She seemed to have handled herself well, because she did not let things drag out. She gave herself space to reflect more objectively about your relationship and came up with an objective conclusion.

Again, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, but these things happen. It will only make you stronger in the future.

This is 9 years, it is going to be hard.
WAIT AND SEE. Girls are confusing, she might come back. Who knows but set a time line on waiting for her, if she doesn't come back within that time limit then move on.

This has to be devastating, but are you sure you didn't see something out of the ordinary?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

This has to be devastating, but are you sure you didn't see something out of the ordinary??

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Good question as I am sure there had to be some sort of signs this relationship was headed downhill.

What I usually see in couples that last more than 7 years or so is that even if they break up, they end up getting back together. I don´t agree with this, since I think that if after that time, it breaks up, it is because its not really meant to be, but people get used to the person, and even if they break up, after a while, they are too attached to that person, and end up saying... what the hell? And getting back... 9 years is a long time to just give up so easily.

I would suggest maybe leave some time of NC to let her realise it by herself, while you heal in the meantime, and if she comes back, it´ll be because she really wants, and then it will all be better... but always realise that she might not come back... don´t let yourself get deceived once again and try and heal all you can in the meantime. Good luck!