I am with a girl 2 year sand her daughter in now four, she disrespectful to me , hits me puches me shouts at me how do I get her to love me like a father

Time time time and more time.

And CONSISTIANCY


It will be hard I know. My husband is my daughters stepfather. Since she was 3. and she is now 5 and though the outright disrepsect and violence has stopped, she still has times where she just simply feels she doesn't have to listen to him.


Remmeber that 4 is very young, and she can't understand this huge change in her life, and because she cannot understand nor deal with her emotions properly, it comes out as anger and frustration.

Be consistent in your love AND discapline, and with time, it will get better.

She needs to be reprimanded when she behaves this way.It is unacceptable behavior for a child to treat anyone this way.
She is old enough to understand what is acceptable behavior and what is not.
After you have controlled her behavior ,it is important to be consistent with her discipline and encourage her to use her words to express her feelings.
By allowing her behavior to continue unchecked,you are doing her a great disservice.Children want and need boundaries.
I suspect when you have addressed her behavior,the rest will fall into place.
Love her with a firm hand and you will see a difference.

What type of action do you do when she does this

What does her mom do

What type of relationship does she have with her bio father.

And in the end, if he is active in her life, she has a father, you are a step father, you may fill an important rule, but if he is active in her life, you are not to replace his role in the child's life.

But knowing some 4 year olds from my church, hitting , punching and being disrespectful, sounds about normal for many who I feel are not properly raised.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

What type of action do you do when she does this

What does her mom do

What type of relationship does she have with her bio father.

And in the end, if he is active in her life, she has a father, you are a step father, you may fill an important rule, but if he is active in her life, you are not to replace his role in the childs life.

But knowing some 4 year olds from my church, hitting , punching and being disrespectful, sounds about normal for many who I feel are not properly raised.

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I tell her to stop and she just runs off crying, her mum makes her to say sorry sometimes which she relucting does, she sees her bio father once a week but he a bit sick in the head and I can't understand how she still cares for him because he only cares about himself

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Originally Posted by donamn59

i tell her to stop and she just runs off crying, her mum makes her to say sorry sometimes which she relucting does, she sees her bio father once a week but he a bit sick in the head and i can't understand how she still cares for him because he only cares bout himself

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If the Dad is sick in the head why is he allowed to see the child?
Maybe she is afraid of you because Dad is a nut job?
Why did you not read what I wrote?
Where is Mom and what else is going on?

She still cares for him because she is 4 years old. She is not an adult. You cannot expect her to behave as/see things as an adult.

It's the 'sometimes' you said about making her own up to her behavior that worries me. SOMETIMES is not good enough. It needs to be EACH time.

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Originally Posted by artlady

If the Dad is sick in the head why is he allowed to see the child?
Maybe she is afraid of you because Dad is a nut job?
Why did you not read what I wrote?
Where is Mom and what else is going on?

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Its not my idea tat dad sees her lik, I tink he should be looked up for numerous reasons and that wood be to good for him, we been to doctor of head and have told us something I expected and also said topack our bags and run, which should we have to leave our friends and house to get away from him

Doctors aren't there to give you legal advise.

Unless the child is in danger by his father, don't just pack your bags and run.

Unless I'm misunderstanding you. I can barely make out your post.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

doctors arent there to give you legal advise.

unless the child is in danger by his father, dont just pack your bags and run.

unless im misunderstanding you. i can barely make out your post.

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Sexual abuse danger

I see, thanks for clarifying :) then yes, take her and leave, AND FILE THE POLICE REPORT. Don't just take her and run off or you will get in trouble.

Understand that 4 year olds don't understand the concept of "step father" or "step" anything. They only know those who are there at the time of birth, and she doesn't know who you are. Basically you are a stranger giving her commands.

Time is the key factor here, and a gentle hand.