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-   -   Does taking a break mean no contact (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=367633)

  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:14 PM
    jamcoll7
    Does taking a break mean no contact
    My girlfriend asked for a break a week ago. I e-mailed her the next day and she responded ending the message with I'll call you when I'm ready, I promise! I haven't spoken to her since. So do I wait for her to contact me or is it OK if contact her after about 10 days to see what's going on?? Please help I'm going mad
  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:16 PM
    xdarkninja

    I'd give her time to sort things out because if you keep pushing it.. u'll just going to make things worst and maybe loose her for good. When she is ready I'm sure she will contact you but in the mean time just try to live your life. Just my opinion.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:35 PM
    bigdee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    So do i wait for her to contact me
    Yes

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    or is it ok if contact her after about 10 days to see whats going on???
    This will only aggravate her and make her feel like you are not giving her the break she requested.

    That said, I think it is fair if say after a sizable amount of time has passed with NC (like a month or so), you deserve an explanation on what is going on (which will most likely be bad news).
  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:36 PM
    Elousia

    How long have u been together?
  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:39 PM
    chuff

    A break is another way of saying, "I'm dumping you" but not as harsh. You have to come to terms with that so that you can move forward with your own life free of this girl.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 09:52 PM
    jamcoll7

    Been together for only a couple of months and things went very quickly from the get go. Probably too fast. I'm hoping she just needs a time out to find herself again instead of just being rapped up in me. Also it was only two months after she broke up with her ex that we got together. So I'm sure getting into another relationship so soon after her last guy may be overwhelming. What do you think?
  • Jun 21, 2009, 10:06 PM
    chuff
    Will I be two for two? Prediction. Threads soon to be merged.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    been together for only a couple of months and things went very quickly from the get go. Probably too fast. I'm hoping she just needs a time out to find herself again
    She doesn't.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    instead of just being rapped up in me.
    For your future I hope you met wrapped. Wrapped up in to you. But she's not wrapped up in you. You have to accept this and move forward.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    Also it was only two months after she broke up with her ex that we got together.
    So she wasn't over that and used you as a rebound.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    so im sure getting into another relationship so soon after her last guy may be overwhelming. What do you think??

    I think you need to accept this was a rebound fling to her and you thought it was way more then it was. She's not coming back and you should not wait for her.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 10:25 PM
    jamcoll7

    Chuff you are harsh man!!
  • Jun 21, 2009, 10:35 PM
    chuff
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jamcoll7 View Post
    Chuff you are harsh man!!!
    I am not harsh. I am real. Do you want me to sit here and tell you BS like "she'll come around" and "just give her time." You deserve real answers not smoke blown up you butt that doesn't answer anything. You deserve to put this emotional loss away now, and not wait. I'm not going to make you wait. I'm not going to lead you on. I'm not going to give you such vague answers they don't really answer anything. I'm not your ex, lying to you and keeping you hanging on. I'm your friend, telling you like it is so YOU can move forward, because the reality is I don't give a damn about her, but I do want you to get out of this funk your in holding onto hope.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 07:17 AM
    jmooney527
    I will have to agree with Chuff... it's better to be pleasantly surprised than emotionally let down in this scenario. If you cut your losses and have the mentality that it's over with (which I'm sorry to say you should), you can move on with your own life and find something even better. She's stringing you along and I think the issue is that you're thinking about her and what she's doing. You think she's wondering about you or how you're doing? Most likely not, she has full control because you are letting her. Take control of your own life and happiness and don't talk to her, do NC right away.

    If you move on with your life and maybe down the road she comes back asking for forgiveness or giving it another shot, at least you'll then be in a better state of mind to assess your own feelings/emotions/logic instead of having this clouded judgement. You're letting your heart take completely over your decisions and thoughts and as cold as it sounds, you need to think objectively.

    If your friend was going through what you are right now, what would you tell him? You'd say "forget her, move on with your life!" I know it's hard but try to base your decisions on logic and think objectively as much as you can, and start healing

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