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-   -   My son (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=367617)

  • Jun 21, 2009, 08:24 PM
    zack9104
    My son
    Hello,my name is zack Iam a father of 2 children, glad that I found this website.I hope I can fid the help I need.

    My son is 12 years old,I love him so much,I love his company,the thing is we do not have much to talk,it seemswe are going in a different directions,his quite

    Dose not like to talk much and we have no subjects to talk about.how can get things or subjects will interest him?


    Thank you
  • Jun 21, 2009, 08:26 PM
    Wondergirl

    Where have you been all these years? Have you been living with the boy? Please tell us more so we can give you a good answer.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 08:47 PM
    nikosmom

    Going in different directions is common at this age but you have no idea what he likes?
  • Jun 21, 2009, 08:53 PM
    Alty

    Why not ask him? He's your son, talk to him.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 03:23 AM
    danielnoahsmommy

    Do some father and son things. i.e. go to a ball game. Sometimes they may not be intrested at first and then they love your company and want to do it more.
  • Jun 29, 2009, 01:27 PM
    bahamir
    Well I think talking is not that important. Spend time with him and try to participate in things he seems to like and eventually you will have things to talk about.
  • Jun 29, 2009, 01:29 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Its very normal for a 12 year old to distance himself from his parents. In his mind his parents are 'old and embarrassing and just don't understand'

    Definitely TALK to him and try to find some common ground.
  • Jul 1, 2009, 02:14 AM
    Gemini54
    Boys like to participate in activities, not talk. Particularly when they are prepubescent!

    Take him to the park, play games, take him to the football (rugby, soccer, whatever), watch movies, take him with you when you do things, ask him to help you do things around the house.

    You can talk to him while you're together, just don't expect a conversation from him for a while.
  • Jul 1, 2009, 03:30 AM
    redhed35

    Hey,12 is a mad age! There is probably so much going on in his head,friends,school,girls.
    And well ,your just dad.
    You're the guy that tells him to clean his room,gives him a lift here and there,and generally just sorts stuff out.
    You're the stable.Home base so to speak.
    And that's good.the routine the norm of daily living.
    But how to communicate to a 12 year old.
    Talk to him,easy to say,but how to say,if there is something up,if he's worried about something,maybe wondering about the changes in his body.
    He would probably be mortified if you or his mother had assess to any of those thoughts.
    But you can be his 'go to person'.
    All you have to do is put it out there.
    Say the words. However strange they might sound when you say it. Something along the lines of if you want to talk or ask me anything you can.I love you,and ill help.
    Just throw it out there,you may not get a response,but he will know.
    The other posts have the right idea about spending time together,most of the problem solving conversations I had with my kids were in the car on the way home from somewhere.
    The very fact that you are looking for other opinions and advice to help you communicate better with your son,tells a lot about the type of father you are.. a good one.
  • Jul 1, 2009, 09:00 AM
    N0help4u

    I agree with the others. You say you have nothing to talk about. Your first topic should be what things does he like to do so you can find some father/son things to do like sports and fishing. Many people feel closer with doing things together than actually talking like Gemini said.

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