In New York State, is it legal for a 20 year old female to date a 16 or 17 year old male?

There is nothing illegal about dating as long as the minors parent is OK with it.

It is the having sex that could be a issue.

I'm just concerned because my daughter has a crush on a almost 17 year old. She is a typical 20 year old and has a lot going for her. He is a bit mature for his age. She realizes that a three year age difference when their young could be looked down upon. If he was 20 and she was 23 it wouldn't look bad.

If she was over 21 I would be even more worried, but I'm concerned. If she was the 17 year old I would think it was a bit much of an age difference, but I wouldn't object. She is aware of the legal age of consent in New York (17) and doesn't plan on doing anything inappropriate.

Am I wrong for making this a big deal?