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-   -   What are your insecurities when you are around other people? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=367318)

  • Jun 20, 2009, 10:39 PM
    Stringer
    What are your insecurities when you are around other people?
    I have to say that I have a few, however mostly I feel that I am out of shape and I need to lose a few pounds, it makes me feel uncomfortable. In the past this was very important to me, worked out, watched what I ate for the most part. Lately I haven't had time to work out and I have been 'binging' some. So, maybe it is stress, laziness, not enough time... whatever, but that is one of mine... I am in front of people a lot; speaking, selling, dealing with customers... and I just feel like this is distracting...

    What are yours, doesn't have to be about weight... :D
  • Jun 20, 2009, 10:46 PM
    Justwantfair
    It always takes me a long time to feel comfortable around people. For one, I am a 'people watcher' and prefer not to interact until I have a good read on people. It stems from wondering if what you have to say has any value until you know personalities. It's also a social issue, but then it is often that after I am comfortable and social I find out what a snotty *itch that people thought I was when they met me.

    Knowing that I am even more reserved and I am always concerned that my standoffishness is viewed as snotty behavior.
  • Jun 20, 2009, 10:51 PM
    Stringer

    I understand that Justy but that like losing weight is something that can be worked on, but I don't see it.

    Having to be in front of people constantly I sometimes jump in and find that is not always a great idea either. After you say something and then find out your opinion is in direct conflict with the person that you are talking to... I have learned to back track...

    Another is making a snap judgement and finding later that it was wrong. Makes me want to work on that too... I watch their faces and body language more now. Obviously, can't be done here though... :rolleyes:
  • Jun 20, 2009, 11:01 PM
    Justwantfair
    I have been working on this issue for a long time. Actually poker has helped a lot with this issue for me, because it's a constant array of new people to interact with. Of course now the poker table is my turf, that doesn't hurt the situation either. Once I am warm though, watch out, I am easily hot! :D
  • Jun 20, 2009, 11:09 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    I have been working on this issue for a long time. Actually poker has helped alot with this issue for me, because it's a constant array of new people to interact with. Of course now the poker table is my turf, that doesn't hurt the situation either. Once I am warm though, watch out, I am easily hot! :D

    Got cha... I'll be careful... :D Night.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 01:31 PM
    I wish

    You've been in shape before, so you can get back in. You just need a routine of some sort to help you out. The toughest part is the first push to start up the routine.
  • Jun 21, 2009, 03:34 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    You've been in shape before, so you can get back in. You just need a routine of some sort to help you out. The toughest part is the first push to start up the routine.

    You're right, I know, and I am still insecure about it. :)
  • Jun 22, 2009, 10:33 AM
    Justwantfair

    Stringer, I know that it can not be just you and I with insecurities... do you think people are still just hiding them...

    Fess up people.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 10:36 AM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Stringer, I know that it can not be just you and I with insecurities... do you think people are still just hiding them...

    Fess up people.

    Denial maybe he hee? ;)
  • Jun 22, 2009, 10:46 AM
    88sunflower
    Hey justy! No I have insecurities to. Tons of them.

    First I constantly think people are talking bad things about me or hate me. I don't know why. I feel like when I walk in a room they are like "oh ya thats so and so and she did this and that" More then likely not true, but I hate social situations because of this. Or anything in public.

    I live in a trailer, which we bought brand new and its nicer then most of my friends houses. But I am so embarrassed to tell people where I live for fear they will think I am trailer trash. I am not, we make good money and have good jobs. We just bought it on a whim and now wish we would have bought a house. But we were young and didn't care at the time. This one really bugs me. I hate the term trailer trash and it offends me so much.

    I am embarrassed being to flat chested. Just because men gawk at women who are falling out of there shirts and then here I am buying more padding and underwire just so I can look like an A. Oh right, size doenst matter thought. Well I haven't seen any gawking at mine. So that's an insecurity.

    Oh really I can go on and on.

    Also, like you, I normally sit back and people watch before I see where I fit in. In turn that makes me look why I guess.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 10:55 AM
    Justwantfair

    I can sympathize with your list.

    I am a C cup, but I didn't develop until I was almost a junior in high school. Teenagers are cruel... my nickname in high school was 'Big Mama Melons' because my friends thought that was funny.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:01 AM
    ZoeMarie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    I have to say that I have a few, however mostly I feel that I am out of shape and I need to lose a few pounds, it makes me feel uncomfortable.


    You and me both. I've been walking every day, even if it's only 15 min, but it's hard to eat better because my husband is so dang picky and I hate to come up with 2 different things to make if he doesn't want what I want.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:15 AM
    Stringer

    People can be cruel, I think that it has something to do with their very own insecurities... in their minds; attack so that they are not attacked... craziness... Also, some that are narcissistic feel that it makes them look good if they put someone else down. And with this type of person... it can ONLY be about them. (NO, I am not talking about anyone in particular... )

    So, how are we to deal with these things?
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:20 AM
    ZoeMarie

    violence. LOL
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:24 AM
    88sunflower
    Stringer you can do it! Just get yourself back in a routine and work out and change your eating habits. It's a lifestyle change for sure.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:25 AM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ZoeMarie View Post
    violence. LOL

    Ha haaaaa... is that the 'gentler' type of violence? :rolleyes:
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:26 AM
    88sunflower
    I so agree that people attack so they aren't attacked. I have learned those are the most weak really.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:28 AM
    ZoeMarie

    LOL. Yeah that just sounded good at the time. I always joke that violence is the answer, although it solves nothing.
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:39 AM
    Stringer

    Another insecurity... kind of... I totally melt when I have to take a shot... (needle that is)...

    I realize that it doesn't hurt (much) but I wish that I handled this better... At least I haven't fainted like I saw so many do in the Air Force... Hmmmm? Maybe this is a phobia? Not sure...
  • Jun 22, 2009, 11:48 AM
    Justwantfair

    Yeah, my phobia is some kind of megalophopia which effects me with planes and roller coasters and sadly even walking the streets of Chicago.

    Phobias are a whole different story because I am always ashamed that I can't get it under control and I always feel that everyone is staring at the 'idiot in a panic attack'.

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