All right.
I know there's a million posts about teen sex but I wasn't really sure which one this would fit under, so I just decided to ask.

So the subject is of course, sex.

Here's my thing.
I know that I want to have sex at times. You know sometimes you want to other times you could give a less.
I am a virgin.(obviously or I wouldn't be asking questions)
but i do however want to lose my virginity.

i just really want to get my first time over with.
The whole pain and akwardness out of the way.
After that, I probably won't be having a lot of sex(but who the hell am I kidding I really don't know that. But I'm just not a big "sexsexsex" advocate.)
I obviously not going to wait till marriage, because I just don't see the point these days.
Plus it's a high expectation.

Pregnancy is my biggest fear in the world, and I'm fully aware that there's no way to be immune to pregnancy except for not having sex.

People reading this, don't think I'm this huge slut for thinking this, but I mean, if I met someone one day who I really wanted to I wouldn't want it to be my first time.

I just like to think things logically. I just want my first time over with;.

It would just be weird.
I hate akwardness as it is, and I really don't think id have this big mourning thing for "wow im not a virgin anymore..."
I might have a little pang of something but not anything I couldn't get over.
I just want to get it over with.

Am I crazy for thinking this?
I know morally its pretty much considered wrong(I am a christian) but I'm just tired of worrying all the time about it.

And then there's another problem, who with.

I dumped my boyfriend awhile back(we were planning on having sex) and honestly I felt bad because the majority of the time I was with him was just because I knew hed be a good firsttime candidate and I figured id put up with his bull in the meantime.
Which wasn't very smart on my part but whatever.

So now I'm trying to think of characteristics in the person id want to be my first time.
I'm not going to say because I love them, because really my only love would be like friends and family.
I just don't fall that easily.

But I'm pretty sure id want someone else experienced, just because I always think two virgins would be awkward, even though I hear less painful because the guy comes quicker so its over faster.

So your opinions on that are appreciated

I know what bull to look out for and whatnot.

Id just like some feedback.
I know its like a million different questions so just pick which ones to answer.
And anything about yalls first times would be great to, but I understand if its like a personal thing and you don't want to divulge much.


Well here's hopefully so the world doesn't think I'm this huge slut.

Thanks for anything you might say.

Your not a slut!! You're my new twin! I wanted to get my 1st time over with. But I didn't wait as long as you! I WAS a slut. I lost my virginity at 12 with someone I didn't know very well. All because I didn't want to lose my virginity to a boy I really loved. And I don't know whether I regret it or not, but your not a slut. Your just a typical teenager that is morall scared about pregnancy. Like me and all my mates. So your not alone!

trying to make new mates from around the world! can you be one of them!!!???xx

I would agree, your feelings are extremely typical of any teenager (especially a girl).

In all your post however, you miss one very large point. That being that sex is not a recreational sport! Sex is something to be shared with someone you care deeply about. It's the ultimate sharing. Yes it may be awkward if the two partners are inexperienced, but when its done with someone you love, the awkwardiness doesn't seem to matter much.

Remnember also that sexual intercourse is only a part of sexual activity. It is possible to be intimate with your partner without losing your virginity. If you approach this logically, then you want to build up to the act of intercourse and go that far only when you are ready to have a child.

hi, well I'm a vergin too, but I'm not looking for sex. I've been with my boyfriend for a total of nearly 11 months, with a gap between, but that's a long story lol. We're both quite traditional for teenagers, but that doesn't mean we don't want things either. I'm not really sure what he wants right now, considering we barely even make out, (I know I know, 11 months, but watev), but I wouldn't mind being more of a teenager.
I am a little confused on the subject actually. I don't really want sex right now, but I wouldn't mind a little messing around, not beign slutty lol. And I think it would be great to wait until marriage, cause then you don't know any diff, so you'll think its great anyway. However, I also think that its harder now days to do that. The other half of me thinks that doing that is stupid cause if you actually hate it with your husband, and it never gets better, that you'll both wish you hadn't waited. Gah its confusing, but yh.
Hmm, I'm a hopeless romantic, so no matter what confusion I have, I still think that its best to do it for your first time with someone you love. Even if your both inexperienced. That just means you get to experiment together :) sex is meant to be the ultimate expression of love, so why do it with someone you don't love? I just don't see the point. I also don't see the point in being with someone if you can't see yourself marrying them.
You said a few times that you just want to get it over with. I totally understand, but I think it might be best to wait until your fully ready, and you meet someone you really love. That doesn't mean they won't be experinced :P
well, I hope I've helped a little... sorry it went for longer than I thought it would lol
good luck :)

The most logical answer for this logical question is don't be stupid. Don't sleep with a 25 year-old if your 16, don't not wear a condom, don't do it with a stranger, and don't do it drunk.

See I don't understand completely.

I agree with ScottGem

Why would you want your first time to be with just someone and not someone you are committed to and really love?

I can understand wanting someon more experienced, but then maybe they might compare you.

Just please wait until you are truly in love with someone, no matter their experiences. This is the best idea.

I really understand you as I am going through this as well.
Jaimie 02 the point is that nowadays you go out with a guy and he comes out with a question "are you virgin?" and you tell him nothing or something to change the subject as you don't want to say "yes i am" as if you do he will turn his back on you.
Therefore addy (as I understood) wants to get it over with so she would simply say "no" and not be embarrassed.

I feel like to get it over with because as addy said when you meet the right person he would 99% have slept with a lot of girls and you have to tell him the truth about you. If you tell him that you are a virgin he would think that you are some nerdy or whatever.

Losing your virginity is a special event reserved for a special person,when you are more than just physically mature enough to handle it.
You must be emotionally ready,and for all the right reasons.

Not everyone's first time is bad,it depends on many factors but having the right mindset is way at the top of the list for the experience to be one of intimacy and pleasure.

The right person at the right time and it could be a memorable time for the right reasons.

Honor yourself and wait until you know the time is right.

Kids seem to be raised to think that sex/losing their virginity is something they need to get done and over with asap because it will be akward but they say the first time with someone extra special is the best way to go.
I always suspected this but now I actually heard the technical expert thing on it.
Its in a book called Her Brain, His Brain
And it gets into the scientific facts of the way guys and girls think. It talks about how the more partners you are with and the more porn one gets into the more likely they are to be desensitized to bonding through your oxytocin. It also mixes your oxytocin up to confuse your emotions.
That is one good reason to wait for someone special.

Also if all you want is sex are you going to be upfront with the guy?

If you truly love somebody the last thing you are thinking of is feeling awkward.

Another good book on oxytocin is
The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You FInd Trust, Intimacy and Love

http://www.hugthemonkey.com/2006/10/...mistry__1.html

I went out with my girlfriend for almost a year before we got sexual and we did have sex. It was mine and her first time and I'm not saying I didn't love her but I was nearly there(even though I don't really know what love really is) I still cared about her for allot so I think if you were to choose a guy make sure it's a guy that isn't just going for your body, because I had to date her for over a year and I went to her games and even met her family outside are state (not that I was trying to get in her pants)i just cared about her so find a guy that DOES care about you it doesn't have to be LOVE but make sure its true and go for it-And I am not saying go have sex! I'm saying don't do it with a crappy guy that just wants it and doesn't respect you also mine and her first time was kind of awkward and just because I had sex now and it wasn't only one time we had sex to I still feel awkward having sex again to the point were I'm kind of afraid having it again

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Originally Posted by onlymyself

I really understand you as I am going through this as well.
jaimie 02 the point is that nowdays you go out with a guy and he comes out with a question "are you virgin?" and you tell him nothing or something to change the subject as you don't want to say "yes i am" as if you do he will turn his back on you.
Therefore addy (as I understood) wants to get it over with so she would simply say "no" and not be embarrased.

I feel like to get it over with because as addy said when you meet the right person he would 99% have slept with a lot of girls and you have to tell him the truth about you. If you tell him that you are a virgin he would think that you are some nerdy or whatever.

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This is really sad.

If you tell a guy you're a virgin and he turns his back on you, then kick him in the arse as he walks away. He's not worth your time anyway.

Virginity isn't something to be ashamed of, heck, it should be the opposite. Be proud that you don't spread your legs for every Tom, D*ck and Harry that comes along.

If someone asks and you feel embarrassed to tell them, then simply tell them it's none of their business.

I lost my virginity to someone I cared about, but no, I didn't love him. I did it for all the wrong reasons, none of which are important. I don't regret it, because there wouldn't be any point, I can't rewind, I can only go forward, but... but, if I could do it all again, I would have waited. I wouldn't have done half the things I did as a teen. Not knowing what I know now.

I won't say wait for marriage. I won't say any of that because I know you won't listen. But, I will say, don't do it just to get it over with. This isn't some dreaded math test. This is something that should be a special moment in your life, done for the right reasons. It's not just something to discard. Trust me, you will regret it if you do.

Just wait. It doesn't seem like it matters now. And maybe it never will to you. But why risk regretting it later? (I never thought I would regret it either but now, I wish I had waited longer. It's not like its something I think about daily but when I do think about it, it hits me harder than I ever thought it would). And honestly, I think my very first time was the least awkward. Because me and my then boyfriend were both virgins. And we'd been dating for a long enough time to be totally comfortable. It was much more awkward later with an experienced guy. I wasn't a virgin anymore but one guy doesn't make you experienced. But I felt like I was expected to be experienced. And then it's awkward if you date a virgin later and their first time is with you. Because then you're experienced and it's their first time (at least I felt awkward. I don't know that they did) every first time with someone might be a little awkward. So you might as well save your first time and let I mean something and really be special.

Logic has NOTHING to do with Love and less to do with sex! The best way I can explain what you are about to do is the following.
Lets say you never had pizza because of a medical problem in one of your family members! You and your girlfriends go out and get pizza. You find out that pizza is one of your favorite foods. Now you have had pizza, and now you crave pizza once a week or twice a month. This is the same with sex. Once you have sex, your body and more so your mind will crave the sheer delight of orgasm. This is why you need to have feeling for the person. No matter how awkward you feel your partner should make these awkward times flow right by. Sex is not what 2 people who have feeling for each other have. Sex is the mechanics behind the act. Making Love is not sex either. You can make love by a caring look, a timely smile, a hug, a simple snuggle, or wild passionate earth moving sex with someone you really care about. First times are just that first times. Do you want your first time to be with some one you want to spend the rest of your life with, or in the bushes with someone you don't really care about? You almost had this according to you, yet you didn't go through with it! Ask yourself why. Keep this to yourself because it's none of our business! REMEMBER once your first time is gone, you might have first encounter after that with different partners, but you'll never be able to take back losing you virginity!

My sister was a bar waitress, and some guy would just come out and ask to get in her pants. She asked me one day for a come back, so I told her let me ponder it fr a few. I thought about it for awhile, and then I remembered an old joke the was a stopper with no comeback! I told her to politely smile and in a sexy voice say " sorry there fella one (_|_) hole in there is enough!"

Remember this too, it only takes one time to get pregnant. The odds of getting pregnant on the first time is about that for getting struck by lightning holding a 20 foot pole in the air. I'd rather be in the house

Quote:

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Originally Posted by onlymyself

jaimie 02 the point is that nowdays you go out with a guy and he comes out with a question "are you virgin?" and you tell him nothing or something to change the subject as you don't want to say "yes i am" as if you do he will turn his back on you..

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I think to say "yes I am" is the best option, personally. If he turns his back on you, then he's not worth the time and then you've found this out sooner rather than later.

OK you.
I appreciate yalls advice.
But I would like to add that the whole
Thing referring to jamie02's post.
About one of the first things that a guy asks you these days is are you a virgin.
I've been asked that all the time.
I don't find it embarrassing to say yes.

I know a lot of girls do but not in my case.

But thanks for yalls advice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by addy

ok yall.
i appreciate yalls advice.
but i would like to add that the whole
thing refering to jamie02's post.
about one of the first things that a guy asks you these days is are you a virgin.
ive been asked that all the time.
i dont find it embarassing to say yes.

i know alot of girls do but not in my case.

but thanks for yalls advice.

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Frankly, if a guy asks that early on, I would tell him goodbye. Any guy that concerned with your virginity is not worth a hill of beans.

If your wanting to lose your Virginity, Wait until you find the 'right' person :)

Beleve me its really worth it.

I was going to have sex with one of my ex's but I told her I wasn't ready and she finished with me.

I found Kuki, both of us were Virgins But for our 6th month anniversary, she said she was ready, and the feelings I had through-out it were.. Amazing.

(yes we used a condom I'm not wanting kids till I'm older)

Just wait, the right person will come along and you'll thank yourself for keeping it

And By the way!

Sex can hurt for the Girl more than once, with Kuki she was saying it hurt, even after the 3rd time, (we have only done it 3 times) and I Don't have a long/thick penis, its just above Average, or so I'm told...

Just Please wait for the one your really love and want to spend your life with, it stops akwardness if you break up with them

I don't think I've ever heard anything like this. You just want to have sex to get your first time over with? I know a lot and I do mean a lot of girls who regret doing just that. They all wish they would've waited until they were with the guy they are with now which the ones I'm referring to are all married.

My first time was with my fiancée and his with me. Yes it was awkward being both of our first times but, I'm glad that I waited to be with him because I was able to give him something special. He was the first guy I ever wanted to go that far with which means something to him. It also means a lot to me that I was the girl that he was going to be with first.

Being a virgin is not stupid or anything in that category. It is something you should cherish not just want to give up to just anybody. I might sound like your mom telling you all of these things but I am only 19. So it wasn't that long ago that I was having some of the same thoughts you do.

If you don't want to be completely awkward the first time maybe you could mess around with another guy, not recommended but if that's what you want to do who am I to tell you no right?

A guy who backs off from you when he finds out that you are a virgin is backing off because he doesn't want to be remembered for being your first. He doesn't want to be the one to take that specialness away from your first time on a one night stand.

You should wait no matter how strong your hormones may be. Once you are older and you have had sex with someone you truly love and who you truly care about, you will have no regrets. What's the rush? Wait on that special someone and you will know you did the right thing. Good Luck!