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-   -   I have become controlling, anyway to change that? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=366971)

  • Jun 19, 2009, 08:35 PM
    doodie
    I have become controlling, anyway to change that?
    I am in an amazing relationship however, when something out of the ordinary happens I'm the first to assume. I try thinking possitive but I'm sure many will agree with me that negative and jealous thoughts can overpower the nice happy ones. My boyfriend is straight up and will never hide his feelings so I'm fully aware of when I get him mad, the question is why do I still do stupid things?

    Some things I have kookoo thoughts about

    When he says things about female celebrities
    When we watch TV and he comments on a female
    When another attractive female is around... anywhere
    When I'm thinking about him watching porn

    I am an attractive female that is in great shape and I keep myself well busy, never been cheated on and nothing to stem these ridiculous behaviours.

    How do I change for the better so I can have a fulfilling life without any insecuties? I want to be able to honestly wish for him to have an amazing bachlor party without any second thoughts, if he were to go. How do some people gain all that confdence? It seems that I have everything that would make another person have lots of self confidence
  • Jun 19, 2009, 08:40 PM
    Justwantfair
    Self Esteem Test - quick and easy evaluation

    Start here. If you would like share your results.
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:00 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Self Esteem Test - quick and easy evaluation

    Start here. If you would like share your results.

    Not a bad starting place, except for the sales pitch, Nip.

    Doodie, try pre-empting those feelings.

    Say what you think about celebrities.
    Point out other girls striking features on TV ( It's makeup )
    Check out the next painted on jeans you see - ask him how you'd look in them.
    Watch some porn with him.

    What I'm suggesting is you take the issues you have and use them to direct yourself to him and him to you.
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:09 PM
    Catsmine
    The test is good, but the way he eases in to selling from scoring is just too smooth.
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:13 PM
    Justwantfair
    Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide

    Another site to review. Hope it helps. :)
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:16 PM
    doodie

    I am glad I did that test tnx J. My results are not good at all. The only ones that are true are the following:
    I enjoy socializing
    I make friends easily
    Being myself is important
    I never hide my true feelings
    It is a great self esteem test though
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:17 PM
    Justwantfair
    Try the other site, it may help.
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:20 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide

    Another site to review. Hope it helps. :)

    Got to spread the love, but that is an Excellent site. Outstanding suggestions right on the first page.
  • Jun 19, 2009, 09:21 PM
    doodie

    It is quite a long read but its amazing so far=) where did you find these? Maybe I can look for some more because I can never find anything good that might help
    thank you:D
  • Jun 20, 2009, 06:52 AM
    I wish

    Self-esteem takes time to build, but you took the first step in realizing that there needs to be a change. And you took the second step in attempting to change. Take one step at the time, but keep moving forward and building on what you learn.

    Just keep up with the progress!
  • Jun 20, 2009, 08:31 AM
    talaniman

    I think the place to start is learn to think before you talk, or act. At least that cuts down on the harm to yourself or others.

    Another thing is do small things that make you happy, like activities, or hobbies that you can accomplish on your own.

    Stop taking anything that others do, or say personally. Even if they are right, Who cares what they say or do, or why!! How you handle yourself is what counts.

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