How old does my daughter have to be to choose who she wants to live with, her father or me?

This is a frequently asked question. A search of previous threads would have told you the answer is 18.

A child can NEVER make that decision. Only a judge can. They may listen to the child and some states have guidelines on how much weight to give the child's preference. But the decision always rests with a judge based on the best interests of the child.

If the NCP wants a change of custody they need to file in Family Court for a modification and see what the judge says.