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-   -   Jealous Husband (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=366341)

  • Jun 18, 2009, 07:36 AM
    agoodwoman
    Jealous Husband
    I have jealous husband (who will NEVER claim to be) and not sure why. We have been married for about 10 years and I've never cheated on him and as far as I know he has not ever cheated on me. We have a wonderful relationship in the bedroom and out! I have always known that he had jealous ways about him while we were dating but they were nothing that I would end our relationship on. I'm easy going and in some ways I can be jealous too; I guess (I'm a woman! :) ) Anyway, his last episode occurred when he recently stopped by job to say hi. He had called to see if I was busy and I told him 'no' and to come on by -- I always love seeing him! Anyway, before he arrived one of our vendor's showed up with lunch for the office. Yes, he was male and walked down the hallway behind my boss. At this time, I was already talking with my husband. I introduced them and that was it. My husband stayed for a little while chatting and then left. After that, I tried calling his cell phone several times and realized his phone was off and thought his phone had died. So I called his office to get a hold of him. I thought maybe he didn't realize his phone was dead but he then confirmed that he turned it off. He was really short with me but all in all I didn't think much about it. I arrived home and was not greeted with loving arms as he always does and he gave me the cold shoulder all night long - didn't say one word to me. After a while of sitting in my living room all alone it hit me... He's was mad that our vendor was there with lunch. I thought to myself 'you have got to be kidding me!' We got ready for work the next day and didn't say one word - kind of odd. He still has not spoke to me in 2 days. We are both good looking people and I don't have a history of having lots of boyfriends so I'm not sure where's he coming from with his jealousy ways. I'm glad my boss is not a guy! :) Will this stop as he gets older? Or is it, once a jealous man ALWAYS a jealous man?!
  • Jun 18, 2009, 07:49 AM
    snow124
    Wow, that's REALLY stretching. The only way you can get through problems is by talking about it. Make it clear to him that he needs to grow up and stop the silent treatment.
  • Jun 18, 2009, 08:03 AM
    jmooney527
    You shouldn't assume that's why he's giving you the cold shoulder... communication is key.

    And if he is getting jealous over something like that... it's pretty ridiculous and should be addressed.

    Talk to him, ask him why he's "punishing" you for something you had no control over. Then reassure him that he's the only man for you and that you would never do anything to deliberately hurt him. Just talk it out with him :D
  • Jun 18, 2009, 08:32 AM
    Romefalls19

    Talk to him and address the problem. Maybe something else is bothering him?
  • Jun 18, 2009, 08:56 AM
    agoodwoman
    This is not the first time he has over reacted this way. There were other incidents that were out of my control that he COMPLETELY flipped out on. So this is not the first time but I really thought as time went on he would realize that being that way was insane as I am a faithfull wife. I did try and talk to him but all he said was that nothing is wrong but he's not a good liar. At one point in the evening, I had cut my finger pretty bad while slicing some apples -- he didn't acknowlege and just walked out of the kitchen. That's when I knew his attitude was something with me but I didn't know what until later on - and I still don't know what exactly but can only assume it's due to my office since he started acting odd right after that. We are not in our 30's anymore and I would think this type of behavior would have ended around 35!!
  • Jun 18, 2009, 09:03 AM
    I wish

    It's not your problem. It's HIS problem. He's insecure and lacks confidence. He needs to learn to trust his wife.

    You can communicate with him all you want, but even if he was with another woman, he would still be so insecure. He's the one who needs help.

    Help him find out the root of his jealousy. Maybe he had a bad experience? Or his parents set a bad example, but blaming it entirely on you is not fair and he should know better.
  • Jun 18, 2009, 09:20 AM
    agoodwoman

    I keep telling myself that he does have the problem. Maybe if I had cheated on him before I could see where he's coming from but he's my 2nd boyfriend (I fell in love with him instantly!) and I ended up marrying so what's the deal!? I just remembered a time shortly after we met MANY years ago where I found a woman's # in his car. I confronted him about it and he just BLEW up accusing me of snooping in his car. (it was on the floor board so it's hardly snooping!) I knew of the woman because she worked in his bldg and I heard through the grapevine that she had liked him. So I started stopping by his office just to make myself known. I wasn't jealous by all means but I got a kick out of being there because everyone got to know me. I wonder if his actions could actually be some kind of hidden guilt of his own? Wow, I had forgotten about that moment after all these years.
  • Jun 18, 2009, 09:30 AM
    talaniman
    Why assume anything, when you can ask him, whats up with the attitude?.

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