I burn a lot and I'm so pale and I really need a tan but a tanning bed or tanning lotion don't work they just make me burn and if you use the spray on tan or the lotion that tans your body they don't work for me they make me look retarded what should I do to get a nice natural looking tan? Does anyone have any tips on how I can have a tan that

If you burn a lot, it means that you do not have a lot of Melanin (A chemical that acts as a sunscreen in your body). When you tan, it is melanin making you darker. If you have blonde or red hair with fair skin, that means that you don't have a lot, meaning a higher risk for skin cancer when you're older. There are good ways of getting a tan, spray on tans aren't the best idea, I'd use a sunless tanning cream.

Try going out in the sun for under a half hour each day until you get past the burn stage.
Burning happens mostly when you start a tan and stay out too long. Once you gradually build up time and get to where you have a good start on a tan you will be less likely to burn.

I was taking a trip to Aruba a few years back and have issues with burning. I got an unlimited membership to a tanning place, went every other day for like 5 minutes at a time. After a month, I was tanned enough that most normal sun with an spf 15 lotion wouldn't burn me anymore.