My girlfriend whom I am dating for last two years, is distancing from me. The reason is that she made huge mistake in the name of helping someone financially by lending him $50,000. It's been three years and he did not return back single penny. Now that guy is asking her to have a physical relationship with her to get the money back. She is in deep distress because of the financial loss. She wants me to depart from her. I love her very much and am not accepting her wish. There is nothing she can do legally to get the money back. I tried to tell her to forget the money and move on with life. I know it is pretty hard. Any suggestions to pull her out of the valley?

Wow it's too late to tell her now, but if she's going to lend that much money, she should have written down a loan agreement so she is protected. There's no promise to pay anywhere?

The only thing she can do is learn from her mistake and move on with her life. I know this might sound harsh, but she can't really blame the guy for not returning the money. It's her own fault for not having a written record. Just hope that the guy will feel some guilt and return the money one day.

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Originally Posted by Triund

Now that guy is asking her to have a physical relationship with her to get the money back.

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What? The guy wants to pay her back by having sex with her?

I am not sure what you can do. Was a contract ever signed? $50,000 is A LOT of money to lend someone without any record of it happening. You are in between a rock and a hard place. A financial burden of this magnitude is enough to make anyone depressed. I am not sure what else to say other than good luck. This is going to be a hard road to go. Seems like something she has to deal with on her own. I will be quick to warn you that financial stress is the number one reason people split up (at least married couples).

I didn't understand the part either when you said he's asking for a physical relationship with her. Do you think there's more to this story than she's telling you? Something's not quite adding up...

So, he's blackmailing her to get her own money back?? Why isn't there a legal recourse for this?

She needs someone to stand by her through all of this. She needs to know that you're there for her... that is, if you want to be...

Be honest with her about what you feel. If you love her, tell her. If you want to be there for her, tell her that you're in this relationship for keeps. Don't just make empty promises, be there for her. Support her.

Get a lawyer and support her effort.

Back away from telling her to move on from a mistake this huge, as that would pizz me off. This is a very big deal to her, so act like it, not minimize her concerns.

She needs real legal advice, not an opinion.

Thanks for your inputs folks. Please pray that she forgets the money and move on. She realizes that she paid a heavy fees to learn a lesson. I am always there to give her support however I am in no position to fill that financial vacuum at one go unless I win a lottery.

I know if I was the one who was out $50k, I would be doing everything in my power to get MY money back... and you, my friend, would be put on the back burner.

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Please pray that she forgets the money and move on. She realizes that she paid a heavy fees to learn a lesson. I am always there to give her support however I am in no position to fill that financial vacuum at one go unless I win a lottery.

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I doubt that she forgets until she gets her money back, or is ready to give up. Get her a free consultation with a lawyer, if you want to be supportive.