Seriously, has anybody done this before?

I have searched high and low since my girlfriend left me 6 weeks ago.
She left because of my problems. I assume these were being clingly, overprotective and my temper. We broke up over a fight we had too

I did everything wrong. The first day, I begged for her to come back, but to no avail. I did not contact her, and a few days later I bought her some flowers and put them in her room. Miraculously I arranged a dinner with her a week or 2 after. Now this did not go down well. I was not in the right state of mind, and ended up asking for a second chance, with me leaving it as "call me only if you want to try again".

I went NC after that, and broke it 2 weeks later with a short phone call as to how she was going. She was out with friends and so I told her I'd just leave her alone. A week later, I received no message on my birthday, as was to be expected. I then broke NC again by asking to give the dogs a walk with a text. No reply there too.

Now I've been in NC ever since that. We have not seen each other since that night we had dinner.

I have done everything completely wrong. I showed her I was weak and desperate, but I should have had been strong and confident. According to friends, she seems quite happy now and is enjoying life single. Have I run out of opportunities?

In 2 weeks time I will be working with her. Should I continue NC or break it a few days before we work together. It will be quite awkward if we have to work together and do not talk beforehand I think. I've stopped the begging and all. It was just the wrong way to go about it.

The other option is that I rock up to work all confident and be myself. I play nice, and just be me.

Either way, she has to see that I was the person she fell in love with. She is more than likely feeling that she she made the right decision in leaving me as I broke down after we broke up and did all the things to push her away even further. I still can't stop hoping in the back of my mind that she is waiting for me to break NC though. Is there even a chance of reconciliation after all this?

Thanks for reading

It's a tough situation to be in when you have to work with an ex. Been there, done that. Of course we did end our relationship on good terms.

I guess what I would suggest is not talking to her before you go to work. Just see how things go. Don't go out of your way to talk to her, but if you need to talk to her, just be yourself. Cool, calm, collected. If you're at work just do your job and be professional. She's either going to realize that she misses you or she won't be phased at all. Hard to say, but I would do my best to move on if I were you.

Stay NC and IF you need to see her at work just be nice and non confrontational.

At the moment the more you try to push her the more she will pull away.

She's moved on. You need to do the same. Stop trying to win her back. It's tough that you have to work with her, making NC very tough. As for it being awkward, since both of you know the reason for it, there is no need for explanations. Just be professional with her and nothing more.

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Originally Posted by k1k1

She left because of my problems. I assume these were being clingly, overprotective and my temper. We broke up over a fight we had too

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I have done everything completely wrong. I showed her I was weak and desperate, but I should have had been strong and confident.

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You have a lot of personal issues to work on before you are ready to talk to her again. You are the one who needs time and space away from her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by k1k1

According to friends, she seems quite happy now and is enjoying life single. Have I run out of opportunities?

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It doesn't matter how she's doing. You guys are broken up, so she's moving on with her life. However, in your current state, she won't want to you back because you are still the same person. Once you:

1) corrected your problems that caused the initial breakup'
2) feel more objective; and
3) have a clearer state of mind,

Then you can TRY to win her back. I use the word "try" because there are no guarantees. She doesn't like the way you are now, so you have to make some changes. If after the changes, she still doesn't want you back, then it wasn't meant to be. In which case you will have to let her go and move on.

She doesn't want anything to do with you and you need to get that into your head. Otherwise your going stay stuck.

You can buy her anything you want but your just be wasting your money. You can beg her all you want but your just wasting your energy.

Lets face it, you don't want to talk to her because the two of you will be working together soon. You want to talk to her to try to persuade her to give you another chance.

If you don't see by now she doesn't want to be bother by you then you never will.

Stop the texting/calling and trying to get her to converse with you. Sometimes in life you only get one chance and you blew it. However, the great thing about this is that you got the chance to see and recongize your mistakes so hopefully you won't repeat them in your future relationship.

Time to live, grow, and learn to be happy by yourself and know when to throw in the towel. Right now you might seem like a stalker to this girl because you won't leave her alone. Learn to let go and accept that it is over.

You tried it didn't work, leave her alone, and get your own act together.

She did the right thing by breaking up with you.

You are desperate and sound controlling and also sounds sort of like a stalker that will not leave the victim alone.

Why are you going to be working with her for? What are the reasons?

Do not show her anything? You can not prove to her that you changed. You will not have a reconciliation with her. Its over, and the sooner you except that, the better things will be for you and her.

Not trying to be a downer here but the reality is... Its over...

Why can't you see you are more worried about what she is doing than what your doing?