I have been upset these days cause I am not sure if my new boyfriend loves me or not.I am a troditional chinese girl and got to know a western foreigner on a party two months ago when I was in a relationship. He began to message to me after that party.I have never communicated with a western foreigner and he is so amazing,and we met several times.then I found that I began to love him.he said cause I was in a relationship,so he couldn't love me and I couldn't love him.I thought he was right so I broke up the relationship with my ex-bf.but things don't seem that easy.my ex-bf didn't want to give up me.one day he came to my company to quarrel with me when my boss saw the sciene.then I was fired and broke up with him completely.
After that I didn't contact with my ex-bf anymore and attentively want to get along well with my new boyfriend.but when I am really together with him.he seems always busy and doesn't show his kindness to me.I have been to meet his friends several times when in front of his friends he shows his kindness but the other time he even doesn't send me a message.he always said he was too busy this month and my english isn't good so we haven't have a good communication after that.it seems he become more and more cold to me.these days it was always me that send message to him in advance.he didn't send in advance.does it mean he doesn't want to get well along with me anymore?or at the first time does he only want to play with me?

First of all, it's a good thing that you broke up with your boyfriend. He sounds extremely controlling. Do not get back with him.

As for the new guy, he's your rebound. Give yourself some time to get over your ex boyfriend first. This new guy is not the only person in the world. You should go out and meet new people. Don't forget, you are single now. You can talk to whoever you want. Don't limit yourself to one guy.

You should be confused as jumping from guy to guy is confusing. The new guy is a stranger to you, and it takes a while to get to know each other especially given the language, and cultural, barrier.

At least you let the other guy go, and it must not have been that great any way, as meeting some one you think is better for you without knowing, was enough to dump him.

Maybe you better go slow, and see what you have jumped into, before you get so carried away by the feelings, that a first attraction give you.

This new guy may not feel as you do, so find out before you get the high hope that he does.

Thanks for suggestions.we haven't message to each other for about 3 days cause I want to know if he will message or contact me in advance.for 3 days he didn't contact me at all.should I continue this relationship?I really don't know what a foreign guy would be when he comes into a new relationship.

Tell me

Not contacting you for three days when in a relationship does not make a difference between cultures - that is rude. If he is busy, that is one thing, but sending a text message just takes a few seconds. It sounds like he is kind of disinterested.

If he hasn't contacted you, it means he's not interested. If you don't know what he will be like in a relationship, it means you don't know him well enough. You can't start a relationship if you don't know the person enough. If you guys don't get a chance to know each other more, then forget it. Find someone else.

Quote:

---

Should I continue this relationship?I

---

What relationship? Your strangers.

I lived for two years in China and just recently returned from a three week trip. In most of my experiences with westerners "falling" for Chinese women it was for play...

I'm not saying that ALL westerners just want to play, I know a couple that actually married their Chinese girlfriends... but the general consensus is that they are just having a good time.

I'd leave the western boy alone.

*please don't shoot me for stating my own personal opinions!

I think its good to hear all kinds of opinions.maybe it can't be called a relationship just my own wishful thinking.sometimes I only can't control myself to think of him.but he really said he cared for me before.the problem is that I can't feel that.when I care for a man ill message to him and always think of him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lyla-sky

i think its good to hear all kinds of opinions.maybe it can't be called a relationship just my own wishful thinking.sometimes i only can't control myself to think of him.but he really said he cared for me before.the problem is that i can't feel that.when i care for a man ill message to him and always think of him.

---

Actions speak louder than words. Talking means nothing if he doesn't show you his feelings.

Finally I asked him what his feelings are when he was together with me.he thinks I can't think myself and what I want is different to his.so we broke up.but all is because I care for him so much that I lost myself.he doesn't understand me at all.why am I so heartbroken?

Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

You love this new guy after only knowing him for 2 months--you can't be serious.

Now he break up from you because you lost yourself in him and you admit doing this. I think you was too needy and clingy.

Now you know how heartbroken your ex was when you broke up with him.

You can't always fall for a cute face and a smile. He wasn't as into you as much as you were into him. In the future watch a person actions instead of just listening to there words because the signs were there all along. You just ignore them because you let your feelings inteefere with your common sense.

Maybe the things he just told you are what he wants in a girl and he feels you aren't that girl if you can get yourself lost in him.
Let him go because you can't make someone love you.