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-   -   Should I try one last time? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=365430)

  • Jun 15, 2009, 08:26 PM
    justagirl_
    Should I try one last time?
    Hi I'm new to this site and was hoping that I could get someone's opinion. I'm not sure if I should contact my ex one last time or not..

    We broke about 8 months ago now but have completely stopped seeing eachother( hooking up etc) about 2 months ago. The thing is I am still crazy about him! I am leaving the country soon for a long time and we have said that we will see each other before I leave to say bye.. I'm just not sure if I should really see him as this might open up old wounds.. but then again I don't want to leave without seeing him one last time.. Or maybe I should just call him and not actually see him? Also it is his birthday in a few days and don't really know if I should call or text or what? if anything at all...

    Basically... My options are should I try and see him before I go as I know if I do he will probably see me but he doesn't seem to be overly excited to do so and he knows I'm leaving..

    Or should I text or call him one last time and tell him that I still care and am sad that its over but wish him well etc etc.

    OR... lol

    Just completely disappear from his life... As in don't text or call and just leave? If he wants to see me he knows I'm leaving right.. I'm just scared he won't do anything and just let me go?

    What do you guys think?? :confused:
  • Jun 15, 2009, 08:32 PM
    friend4u178

    Sounds like he has already let you go , so probably best for you to do the same if it's only going to open up old wounds.

    No fun in that is there.

    Keep your dignity and walk away in my opinion.
  • Jun 15, 2009, 08:48 PM
    justagirl_

    Yeah I know so don't even call or anything? I just keep thinking that he will realise and change his mind.. Because that's what happened with my other ex. But I suppose that was only after I stopped talking to him completely lol
  • Jun 15, 2009, 09:04 PM
    justagirl_

    I mean I don't even know what I'm going to achieve by seeing him again.. It just seems like it has been such a long time since we've seen each other that my feelings are numb now..

    And I want to see if what we had is still there before I leave? The last time we saw each other there was real strong chemistry.

    You know how when you don't see someone for a long time and then you do the feelings are either gone or stronger.. I want to see how I'll feel when I see him now. Maybe the feelings will be completely gone and I can just move on..

    Then again what if my feelings are stronger but his feelings are gone.. lol maybe that's why he is a bit reluctant to see me as well as he doesn't know how he'll feel because as I said it took us a long time to fully stop seeing each other..
  • Jun 15, 2009, 09:05 PM
    friend4u178

    Yep
    If you stop contacting him he MAY just miss you. If not then its not meant to be.

    If you keep chasing him he knows he has you whenever he wants.
  • Jun 15, 2009, 09:10 PM
    talaniman

    I think you leave things alone, as your leaving, and its over. As you have said why open up old wounds, for him, or for you.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 05:38 AM
    Romefalls19

    Leave it alone, stop picking at the scabs or you won't ever heal
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:03 AM
    cozyk

    I like option 2. It's just truth. Plain and simple and classy.

    Option 1. If you sense that he is not overly excited to see you, then I wouldn't force it.

    Option 3. To just disappear seems kind of rude and I'll be it is not something you would be at peace with. Things left unsaid will haunt you.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 08:28 AM
    timothy friel

    If you see him your sending yourself and him the wrong message, you should just leave it alone
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:51 PM
    justagirl_

    What do you mean sending the wrong message?

    Yeah I think I might just send a txt? Telling him how I feel and leave it at that.. Let faith decide the rest.. lol. I know I will probably see him one day and I suppose if its meant to be then it will be..

    Soo the text is a good idea right?
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:53 PM
    JoeCanada76

    Do not contact him. You need to except that it is over. You may be still crazy over this person, but it did end. Do not say goodbye. No contact. You already said goodbye when it ended.

    Just my opinion. That is if you want to learn to heal yourself.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:54 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justagirl_ View Post

    Soo the text is a good idea right??

    Wrong...

    What will you get out of it , either way?
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:57 PM
    bigdee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justagirl_ View Post
    Soo the text is a good idea right??

    I don't think so. You mentioned yourself earlier:

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justagirl_ View Post
    mean I dont even know what i'm going to achieve by seeing him again

    If that's the case than same goes with a text.

    It sounds instead like you want to see if you can repair the relationship.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 06:59 PM
    JoeCanada76

    One word,

    DENIAL.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 07:09 PM
    ZoeMarie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by justagirl_ View Post
    It just seems like it has been such a long time since we've seen eachother that my feelings are numb now..

    That's the idea behind no contact. You keep it up and eventually you'll be completely over him. As you can see, no contact works. You're doing great! Keep it up!
  • Jun 17, 2009, 06:53 PM
    justagirl_

    Ok I will try and keep with the no contact.. Its just sooo hard! Like I'm leaving for a long time and really want him to know how I'm feeling before I go.. see him one last time!

    Ahh but at the same time I know that won't change anything but I can't help but hope that it might...

    That damn hope... I wish I could get rid of it!!
  • Jun 20, 2009, 04:56 PM
    justagirl_

    Ok he said he wants to see me.. and I know that I shouldn't but I really want to! I think I will I mean what could possibly happen that could be bad? Lol well a lot of things but I'm going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst...
  • Jun 20, 2009, 05:05 PM
    JoeCanada76

    In the end it is up to you isn't it.

    Everybody gave you advice. It is up to you to do whatever you think is best.

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