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-   -   How do I get an already broken marriage back together? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=365388)

  • Jun 15, 2009, 06:05 PM
    Ruby1986
    How do I get an already broken marriage back together?
    I am so confused I need some help please some one please I am begging and pleading to him to please take me back, I have something to say though I haaven't been that good of a woman I wish that I could say other wise but I can't unfortunately; anyhow I unfortunately cheated on him and I have hurt him so badly that now he no longer wants me and he has no more feelings for me at all so what I would like to know is do you think even though I haven hurt him that maybe he will take me back as long as I keep working on it with him and do whatever I have to to keep him happy and feel like he can trust me and prove to him that I have changed my ways. He keeps saying everything hat his friends and other people tell him that once a cheater always a cheater but I can change and I am more than willing to prove that to him but he is not willing to see it happen oh and on top of all of all of that I'm pregnant with his child and he still is deciding not to want to work things out with me and I have more than apologized to him but I don't know what else to do please help me please I'm begging and pleading for some help please and thank you. Truly yours RUBY:(:confused::mad::(:confused::mad:
  • Jun 15, 2009, 06:11 PM
    N0help4u

    You can't make anybody love you and you can't make them forgive you. What's done is done. If he is not wanting to hear you then he knows his only solution is he needs to move on because he can't handle it. Your words won't mean a thing to him. To him it is too little too late.
    As far as being pregnant he is most likely questioning if it is even his child. You don't want to make him feel trapped with your being pregnant anyway. He would only resent you for it.
    All you can do is go for a paternity test and file for child support after the baby is born.
    Sometimes we learn our lessons too late.
    Only time can bring him around IF he wants to be brought around.
  • Jun 16, 2009, 07:08 AM
    450donn

    You have really screwed your life up! Have you considered professional counseling? I think it is time that you get yourself into some sort pf professional help so that you will be able to understand what and how you fell into this sort of mess. Even if your husband does not take you back maybe you will understand enough not to make the same mistakes again.
  • Jun 26, 2009, 05:07 PM
    talaniman
    Bad behavior brings consequences, so I suggest that you put your best foot forward on behalf of yourself, and get to the work you need to do, just in case he gets over his hurt, and anger, and is willing to take a second look.

    If not, at least you will have a life of your own, and experience to look back on, and know what to do next time. Be faithful
  • Jun 26, 2009, 05:14 PM
    lighterrr

    I agree with the other's, reflect on this experience and learn from the mistakes that you have made and look for a way to move on with your life. Once the baby comes then you do a dna test and take it from their.

    Good luck with your life and try to make wiser choices next time.
  • Jun 27, 2009, 11:58 PM
    Gemini54
    Why don't you try writing him a letter?

    Don't plead, don't beg.

    Let him know that you understand that you've done the wrong thing.
    Let him know that you are willing and capable of change.
    Let him know the ways that you will do this.
    Let him know that you want to bring the child you're expecting up together with him.
    Ask him to reconsider and give you a second chance.

    If he does reconsider then you need to prove that you're trustworthy, but you also need to examine why you cheated.

    If he won't reconsider, then you need to do the same thing. You'll just be doing it on your own.
  • Jun 28, 2009, 12:10 AM
    JOX

    Yes!
    I agree with gemini...
    Don't beg, don't cry...
    It will only depress u. u should be as cheerful as possible during this phase...
    Keep going with your life and time to time try to show him that you are really sorry and that you really carre...
    Send letters and cards... and flowers...
    And if you have some of his letters and messages ttry to show him. He may get back that lost love.
    At least my girlfriend did that...
    Get to your life and I'm sure till the time the baby is born he'l get his father back..
    But don't cry..
    Best of luck.
  • Jun 28, 2009, 05:20 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    First never beg, that is below the dignity of people.

    To make it work, both sides have to warnt to make it work. So unless he is willing to talk about it, perhaps go to counseling for it, no it is nothing YOU can do.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 01:18 AM
    Jake2008
    In a way, I agree with Chuck that your husband will have to make a move to put the marriage back together again.

    I also think that to keep badgering him, is undignified.

    When you consider that you have made a mistake here. A mistake. You slept with somebody once (I presume once), and somehow that makes you a horrible person, wife, friend etc. All of a sudden you are less than human, not worthy of any consideration whatsoever, and your husband feels perfectly justified in turning his back smugly on you.

    That's just not right.

    If he really loved you in the first place, and if you were sincere in your remorse for making this mistake, then he owes his marriage a chance at survival, and he would at least be considering it.

    That he has turned you down cold, and said that once a cheater always a cheater, is an easy way out. It is not true, and I hope that he realizes that he's not putting any effort whatsoever into mending your relationship.

    What kind of person is he, to be judge, jury and executioner of your marriage. I am not minimizing what you have done, however, I don't think you need to be kicked to the curb either.

    I think it's a shame that he's' throwing his marriage down the toilet because he doesn't have what it takes to mend things.

    Maybe you are better of without him?

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