Having now been married for 1 year and no children of my own , I am becoming increasingly despondent in the family house ( which I paid for and furnished ) as I'm treated like an lodger . My stepson gives me little or no respect and thinks he can do as he pleases ( he is also close to his father , which is great ) , his mother gets treated almost the same but she is blinkered by her maternal love , she puts it down to hormones as he is 14.5! Apparently this will get worse before it gets better but I believe its already at rock bottom . I deeply love my wife but its starting to affect our relationship . Apart from stopping various enjoyments in the household is there anything else that I could do as a stepfather to bring this problem under control?

When you got married, it was a package deal, the son came along with it. This should have been considered in the months and/or years you dated before you were married.

And yes at 14.5 it is only gong to get worst for a year or two. If he was your own son, it would be close to the same.

As for as not doing what he is told, that is a issue you and your wife have to work out, he has to follow the rules of your house, your wife should be making sure it happens.