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-   -   What is the difference between love and friendship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=364522)

  • Jun 13, 2009, 10:10 AM
    radhika8929
    What is the difference between love and friendship
    Hi I have a very good friend(male). He is a loving friend of mine. He cares for me. But he says that I treat you just as a loving friend not as a life partner. But I start liking him more than a loving friend. I'm confused whether it's love or friendship.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 11:02 AM
    donttouchthat

    In my opinion, if you have romantic feelings for him, then you want more than friendship.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 11:33 AM
    I wish

    Sounds like you like him more than a friend, but he only likes you as a friend.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 12:21 PM
    makapuu

    It seems as if you are attracted to your male friend, however he is not attracted to you in the same way. I would say it is love and even lust for your friend.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 12:35 PM
    talaniman
    The difference between love, and friendship is what the two people get together, and say it is.

    It all depends where you set the boundaries of good behavior, and agree to act around each other.

    Friends don't act like a couple, make out, or have sex, unless they agree to it.

    That the important part, its what they agree to.

    Having said that, lovers are often very good friends.

    Its really up to you to find out what your feelings mean, and deal with them.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 11:53 PM
    radhika8929
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    The difference between love, and friendship is what the two people get together, and say it is.

    It all depends where you set the boundaries of good behavior, and agree to act around each other.

    Friends don't act like a couple, make out, or have sex, unless they agree to it.

    That the important part, its what they agree to.

    Having said that, lovers are often very good friends.

    Its really up to you to find out what your feelings mean, and deal with them.

    Hi thanks for the reply, actually he says that in friendship also we can love each other yes he knew the boundaries. Once we were very close, he and me we both feel like kissing each other and he kissed me. I felt very good. As agirl I think that if we are too close we should marry but he always says that marriage is altogethet different thing, there are many things to be considered about getting married. I don't know I'm very confused. I love to talk to him. I love to be with him. But he says that it is loving friendship not love . What should I do. Reply?
  • Jun 14, 2009, 12:56 AM
    Unknown008

    Better wait for some time, allowing you to know whether you should stay friends or go further. Marriage indeed is s a whole different thing.
  • Jun 14, 2009, 02:25 AM
    Gemini54
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by radhika8929 View Post
    hi thanx 4 the reply, actually he says that in friendship also we can love each other yes he knew the boundaries. once we were very close, he and me we both feel like kissing each other nd he kissed me. i felt very good. as agirl i think that if we are too close we should marry but he always says that marriage is altogethet different thing, there are many things to be considered about getting married. i don't knw i m very confused. i love to talk to him. i love to be with him. but he says that it is loving friendship not love . what should i do. reply?

    If that's what he says then that's what it is. You have to accept it.

    Being 'close' does not mean that you should get married.

    Getting married means much more than loving talking to someone or loving being with them (although that helps!).

    If it's just a friendships for him, then he needs to stop kissing you. It's not fair for him to lead you on.
  • Jun 14, 2009, 05:38 AM
    Catsmine
    The kissing is a way to go to "friends with benefits," which is normally very unfair for the female. He gets the benefits, she takes the risks. I'm a guy, maybe I'm biased, but close friends can care about and hug each other while kissing I reserve for lovers and family.
  • Jun 14, 2009, 06:32 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by radhika8929 https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
    hi thanx 4 the reply, actually he says that in friendship also we can love each other yes he knew the boundaries.
    You think he knows the boundaries, but he obviously has his own ideas what they are. Less kissing, and more talking can clear up the confusion, as I doubt he thinks of marriage, but neither should you. That takes a lot more than like being close.

    How old are you and how long has this friendship been going on? How long has the acting like a couple been going on?

    If loving friends to him is boyfriend /girlfriend without being exclusive, and no title (friends with benefits) is that okay with you? Can you both date others?
  • Jun 15, 2009, 01:47 AM
    radhika8929
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You think he knows the boundaries, but he obviously has his own ideas what they are. Less kissing, and more talking can clear up the confusion, as I doubt he thinks of marriage, but neither should you. That takes a lot more than like being close.

    How old are you and how long has this friendship been going on? How long has the acting like a couple been going on?

    If loving friends to him is boyfriend /girlfriend without being exclusive, and no title (friends with benefits) is that okay with you? Can you both date others??

    Thanks for the reply again. Yes he has his own ideas. As far as I know he doesn't think about marriage, even his age is of marriage and even me also. But the problem is that he says that when I met you first time I didn't feel you will be my wife, even I don't think in this manner about him. But slowly slowly I felt attached with him. Specially after he hugged me. The kind of affection he was showing, I felt he is happy with me. But he still says marriage is altogether different thing. May be I'm too emotional. I'm trying to be clear. But I don't know why I got tensed. You know I cry many times in a day that he will not be mine. May be it can be attraction also. Help me.
  • Jun 15, 2009, 07:44 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    May be I'm too emotional.
    Maybe your to emotionally attached, especially when you act as a couple.

    He seems to be straight forward with what he tells you, and you know he doesn't think of long term commitment. These are facts you must accept, and adjust your thinking to protect yourself by backing up, and adjusting to how you deal with him.

    Stop acting as a couple because it feels good, and that's what you want to be, and see he will not return your feelings to you.

    Do not be so available to him either, as this to will only increase your dependence on those good feelings.

    Balance your life with other people, places, and things, to keep you from always having only him in your life, and give you outlets for your feelings by having other options and opportunities, to be happy with yourself, and what you do have.

    He has already told you, he will not give you what you want, so you must make the adjustments to get it yourself from other sources.

    You are far from the only human to think someone will change their minds, and be as you want them to be, as far as filling a need you have. He doesn't care for you like that, so don't expect him to.

    Its all about what you do for yourself, not what he is doing for you. Not easy, I know, because you want what you want, cause it feels so good.

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