My husband is 50 this year, for the past 2 1/2 years he has no desire to have sex. I'm only 44 and not understanding this at all. He had always been very sexual in the years before the last 2 1/2 years. I finally made him go to the doctor and found out his testostrone was low, he got shot once a month for several months, it has not helped at all.
It makes me feel like its me. I'm not fat, 5'8" tall 140 lbs, long blond hair, I love doing all outdoor sports, like hunting,fishing, 4-wheeing, snowmobiling, water skiiing, snow and water skiing, love yard work, and riding horses, I also have 2 small shih-tzu. I have asked him several times what is the problem, he always said, I don't know. He did have to move away for a 1 1/2 for his job, he would gome home often and the sex would be great most of the time, you know after not having sex for month or two it was a lot tight to make it work, but it would always happen he couldn't wait. Now there is nothing I'm very sexual and trying to understand, but I'm going crazy, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. What do you think?

I think it's time for another trip to the doctor. Maybe his dosage of testosterone can be increased, or he can get some viagra. It's important to your relationship... let him know he has to go back, and maybe offer to go with. I hope things work out...

Why would a man that is 48 to 50 not want to have sex any more. He was very sexual for the first 12 years, everyone envied us. Like 5 to 6 times a week. Then nothing for 2 1/2 years. Do I need to move on or is there something he can do? I'm 7 years unger than him I'm not ready to give up on that part of my life. This is my second husband I don't really want a third.

Well if you love him why don't you stay with him but find yourself some hot young thing to have a tumble with, your partner never needs to know, ;)

That is HORRIBLE advice Chrissy25yo. If I had already not given you rep I would have given you another reddi for this.


wendystoney, just like women go through menopause, men also reach a time in their life when their sex drive will slow.

I always tell people communication is IMPORTANT. Talk to him about how you are feeling. He may be willing to have sex with you more often again if you would let him know about your concerns.

If this was extreamly sudden (like, having sex every day, and then all of a sudden one day NO never again) it could be a medical issue.


You may also find this site helpful

Aging & the Male Sex Drive - Causes of Low Sex Drive

Good luck hon. Don't leave your husband right away. There are ways around this :) that DO NOT involve being unfaithfull

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Originally Posted by chrissy25yo

Well if you love him why don't you stay with him but find yourself some hot young thing to have a tumble with, your partner never needs to know, ;)

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Every post that you've posted so far has been rude, bad advice and downright moronic. If you want to participate here then I suggest you change your attitude otherwise you won't last long.

This is a question and answer site. We take our jobs here very seriously. We're here to help people, not belittle them or give them bad or inaccurate advice.

If you're bored then find somewhere else to play. If you want to help people and have something to offer (which so far you haven't) then start to behave appropriately.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Every post that you've posted so far has been rude, bad advice and downright moronic. If you want to participate here then I suggest you change your attitude otherwise you won't last long.

This is a question and answer site. We take our jobs here very seriously. We're here to help people, not belittle them or give them bad or inaccurate advice.

If you're bored then find somewhere else to play. If you want to help people and have something to offer (which so far you haven't) then start to behave appropriately.

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I would have given you a standing ovation but I had just given you one for something else and it would not let me double up.

There are several on here that need to read and head your answer to chrissy25yo.

Something doesn't add up.
The testosterone should have helped, so maybe you need to talk to him, and see if he Wants to get on something like Viagra. If not, consider that he might be cheating. If he Can have sex, he Will have sex.
Communication!

Communication is the key. Speak to him about how you feel.
Please, also have him get a check up!

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Originally Posted by bronzebabe

Something doesn't add up.
The testosterone should have helped, so maybe you need to talk to him, and see if he Wants to get on something like Viagra. If not, consider that he might be cheating. If he Can have sex, he Will have sex.
Communication!

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I've tried talking to him like every six months, I'm the one that talked him into going to the doctor, the shots didn't seem to make a difference, but all the sudden he stopped getting them, maybe he's just not attracted to me anymore. Every time I try and talk about it he get very angry, so it ends up in a fight or I just stop talking about it so he will quit yelling. I don't know what to do. Very frustrated in this marriage now I want the sex life I had 2 1/2 years ago, I'm still young.

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Originally Posted by bronzebabe

Communication is the key. Speak to him about how you feel.
Please, also have him get a check up!

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I try and talk to him he just gets angry, I'm starting to think it's just me. I don't want to live in a sexless marriage for the rest of my life. We have been married for 15 years, we both have ex's. He told me his ex did this to him that is why he got a devorce. Could it be his age?

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Originally Posted by chrissy25yo

Well if you love him why don't you stay with him but find yourself some hot young thing to have a tumble with, your partner never needs to know, ;)

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I'm not that kind of person, or that would have happened a long time ago. I want a marriage that has sex in it. I don't need anymore stress.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Every post that you've posted so far has been rude, bad advice and downright moronic. If you want to participate here then I suggest you change your attitude otherwise you won't last long.

This is a question and answer site. We take our jobs here very seriously. We're here to help people, not belittle them or give them bad or inaccurate advice.

If you're bored then find somewhere else to play. If you want to help people and have something to offer (which so far you haven't) then start to behave appropriately.

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Thank you, I wasn't asking for that kind of advise.

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Originally Posted by wendystoney

i try and talk to him he just gets angry, i'm starting to think it's just me. i don't want to live in a sexless marrage for the rest of my life. we have been married for 15 years, we both have ex's. he told me his ex did this to him that is why he got a devorce. could it be his age?

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I doubt it is just you hon. If he is having erectile dysfuction (which is common for men his age) its an embarrassing thing to admit for a man and he may be uncomfratable with it.


If you love your husband, you may have to suck it up and accept it for a while until he is willing to come face to face with the problem. There are other ways for you to satisfy yourself. Buy a dildo and a bullet, play with yourself using your hands.


Also, don't forget to encourage him WITHOUT making mention of the difficultys you are both having. Dress extra sexy (buy a new sexy outfit in his favorite colour) and wear spicy perfume (or sweet perfume which ever he enjoys most) and try to be sensual for him. Dance a sexy little strip tease, sit in his lap and kiss him. Even small non sexual things can help. Do things for him around the house that he would normally do. Lay out his clothing for him. Make his lunch. Cook his favorite meal and light candles and have some wine. Anything to let him know that you love him and your still there for him. Since he already knows you are uncomfratable with the way your sex life is going, this may help him come around to at least talk to you about it if not seek help for it

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Originally Posted by wendystoney

i try and talk to him he just gets angry, i'm starting to think it's just me. i don't want to live in a sexless marrage for the rest of my life. we have been married for 15 years, we both have ex's. he told me his ex did this to him that is why he got a devorce. could it be his age?

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Jenniepepsi covered the sexual possibilities.

I'm going to take another angle. When a man stops having sex. If you've tried to talk to him and he just gets angry, maybe there's something about your marriage that is troubling him? It sounds like a bigger problem than just sex. I suggest some marriage counselling.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i doubt it is just you hon. if he is having erectile dysfuction (which is common for men his age) its an embarrassing thing to admit for a man and he may be uncomfratable with it.


if you love your husband, you may have to suck it up and accept it for a while untill he is willing to come face to face with the problem. there are other ways for you to satisfy yourself. buy a dildo and a bullet, play with yourself using your hands.


also, dont forget to encourage him WITHOUT making mention of the difficultys you are both having. dress extra sexy (buy a new sexy outfit in his favorite colour) and wear spicy perfume (or sweet perfume which ever he enjoys most) and try to be sensual for him. dance a sexy little strip tease, sit in his lap and kiss him. even small non sexual things can help. do things for him around the house that he woudl normally do. lay out his clothing for him. make his lunch. cook his favorite meal and light candles and have some wine. anything to let him know that you love him and your still there for him. since he already knows you are uncomfratable with the way your sex life is going, this may help him come around to at least talk to you about it if not seek help for it

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I have tried most of your ideas, and I don't think there is a disfunction, anyway he said there wasn't. He said he just don't have that same old urge and don't know why.

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Originally Posted by I wish

Jenniepepsi covered the sexual possibilities.

I'm going to take another angle. When a man stops having sex. If you've tried to talk to him and he just gets angry, maybe there's something about your marriage that is troubling him? It sounds like a bigger problem than just sex. I suggest some marriage counselling.

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I've asked him to go counseling, he don't feel like there is a problem, he just needs to figure out why he's so made about life. I told him I was going to go to counseling without him, he's always tired, he does work hard, he don't want to do anything but watch TV and fish, I went fishing with him over the long weekend, while he was on the boat with the guys he was having fun, when he was with me on the side of the lake he was bored, acted like I was a bother to him, I sad just give me the worms I can put them on a hook myself. He would fish except to casts. He just watched me until I was frozen and had to go in because it had been blowing, & raining, that's why they came in with the boat. I feel I losing a battle I've tried and tried to win and it's going no where.

If he won't talk about it, and you're not happy, then leave.

If you stay, you're accepting the situation the way it is, because obviously he doesn't care to change.

If you go, maybe that will get his attention enough to try to work with you to fix things.

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Originally Posted by wendystoney

i've asked him to go counseling, he don't feel like there is a problem, he just needs to figure out why he's so made about life. i told him i was going to go to counseling without him, he's always tired, he does work hard, he don't want to do anything but watch tv and fish, i went fishing with him over the long weekend, while he was on the boat with the guys he was having fun, when he was with me on the side of the lake he was bored, acted like i was a bother to him, i sad just give me the worms i can put them on a hook myself. he would fish except to casts. he just watched me until i was frozen and had to go in because it had been blowing, & raining, thats why they came in with the boat. i feel i loosing a battle i've tried and tried to win and it's going no where.

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I'm not sure I know how I feel anymore were more like roommates than husband and wife.

Two threads merged

Please try to keep all information in one thread, this way people are better able to help you.