Ask Me Help Desk - Husband adopting my son

[F]
I have a few questions. First off we moved to Nebraska back in October from Oklahoma so do we need to go by both sets of abandonment laws for my husband to adopt my son or just Nebraska's? My son's biological father or sperm donor as I call him currently still lives in Oklahoma last I heard. When we moved to Nebraska he hadn't seen or talked to our son in over eight months.. I always made sure he had our address, phone number, and knew where I worked. Ever since we separated in 2006 he has only seen his son on a few occasions. Usually when he came to see him though it was at three in the morning and he knew he would be in bed. Over the last three years he has given me about $40 for child support. He has a history of drug use and his family is extremely violent. Where should we start for this process. Would trying to get him to sign his rights over first be the best way or should we just file for abandonment? I know he doesn't care what happens to his son but I have a feeling if I ask him to sign over his rights he will argue or fight just to upset me.

Abandonment isn't something you file for.

You should get a lawyer. That is your first and most important step. Your lawyer will take you through the step parent adoption process.

Your ex will be required to sign over his rights. You said he has only paid $40 in child support. Is this court ordered? It usually helps in cases like this to get Child Support Enforcement to start riding him hard. Making all the CS go away is a compelling factor for many parents. If it is not court ordered, get it ordered.

As for where to file, you file in the court that had jurisdiction. If you have been in NE for over six months, it will be there, so you just have to file in your local court.

But like I said... a lawyer is the way to go here.

What abandonment laws? Abandonment laws do not apply here. What needs to happen is a termination of the father's parental rights. If he will not give them voluntarily then you may have to show he's unfit. If you can't find him, you will have to show a good faith effort to do so.

But as Steve said, you want an attorney to preapare the adoption paperwork. So your first step is finding an attorney to do so. Once you do, the attorney will answer all these questions for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

What abandonment laws? Abandonment laws do not apply here. What needs to happen is a termination of the father's parental rights. ...

The issue is what you need to establish for a Nebraska adoption. Do you need the father's consent? Can consent be dispensed with under certain "abandonment" circumstances?