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-   -   Feeling lost after wife cheated/leaving me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=364226)

  • Jun 12, 2009, 12:54 PM
    lonely hikerman
    Feeling lost after wife cheated/leaving me
    How do you raise ones self esteem after the one you loved for 13 years is leaving you for another guy?
  • Jun 13, 2009, 06:17 PM
    mudweiser

    Well it won't happen overnight that is for sure. After all that time, money and emotion put into it, it would take a big chunk out of you.


    Do you have a support system? Family or close friends? Talking to your best mate about how you feel would be a great way to vent.

    Also try occupying yourself. Usually when your alone with your ugly thoughts that's when it gets to you.

    Get a hobby. Socialize more. If you don't have a job, get one. If you have a job why not try to improve your career by going back to school, taking a few courses, looking for the same job you have now but one that pays better or offers you the opportunity to advance in the company.

    Better yourself. Talk to your pastor/priest [if your religious]. Start going to the gym, or even get PX92 and do it at home and exercise.

    Spend time with your children, if you have any. Take them out camping this summer, even if it is in your yard.

    To make things a bit easier here is a list of things not to do:
    •Don't do drugs- it'll make things worse.
    •Don't drink excessively
    •Don't jump into another relationship
    •Don't sit on the couch all day
    •Don't reminisce about "how good it used to be"
    •Don't start eating excessively


    AMHD is always here for support.

    Sarah
  • Jun 13, 2009, 06:48 PM
    lonely hikerman

    Hello sarah, I have two small boys who I adore. I've been going hiking a lot after work most days to try and forget things but it seems to only bring me down further. I drive a truck all day long and have a lot of time to think about things... I get very depressed and have called crisis centers twice. I have no close friends and am not very social, people tend to stray away from me a lot. My wife was my best friend. Throughout all of our problems I stood by her and tried to make things work, I made a lot of mistakes in my marriage too. I wish we could fix things and start over new but she's been dating another guy for the last 9 months.
  • Jun 13, 2009, 06:57 PM
    mudweiser

    I'm sorry your going through this. I know it's hard- but the only way to get out of this rut is to well get out of it.

    Long drives huh? How about during the long drive you get one of those tapes/cd's from the library- might sound corny but I bet it'll work. Learn a new language every time you drive- I know music can get boring on the radio. Or even get a book that is on a tape or CD.

    You won't forget her, but the pain will subside overtime.

    Do the boys stay with you or her?

    Sarah

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