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-   -   Secret Love (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=363966)

  • Jun 11, 2009, 05:38 PM
    ChaNelLuver
    Secret Love
    Hiyeahz,
    Okay Problem; I'm twelve but I act probualy about fifteen maybe sixteen I really am quite mature for my age, well.. my boyfriend IS sixteen... SIXTEEN 16! Four year age difference is a lot and my parents would shoot me, personaly talk God into making me go to Hell, I'm not even aloud to date. BUT even though I'm only twelve I'm totally and completely POSSITIVE I love him and want to spend my entire life with him, I can't live with out him. He is my world and he feels the same way. He told me when I get old enough he plans to marry me spend forever with me,but that's about 6 years... how do you keep something so HUGE away from parents, how do you keep it a secret? What do I do? Some help please!
    Love, ChaNelLuver
    Thanks =P
  • Jun 11, 2009, 05:44 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I know it feels so real at 12, but to tell the truth, because you feel he is the one, and "know" he is the one you will marry that sort of shows you are not really all that mature, it merely shows hormones at work.

    There will most likely be several more "right ones" in the next few years.

    But if he is the "one" then he will wait, till you are 15 or 16 and can start dating for real.

    I am personally more worried about a 16 year old that would seriously want to be with a 12 year old child, no matter how mature they think they are. Just that though leads me to some preconcieved ideas about him.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 05:47 PM
    emerylynnlove

    First of all you should not keep this from your parents you just have to figure out away to break it to them, second the age you are at now you may not always be together, you could grow apart through them six years but if you don't then your parents will come to love him to, this is something you have to figure out how the two of you are going to work out
  • Jun 11, 2009, 05:54 PM
    N0help4u

    You being four years younger and 12 at that need to realize that if you love him that much that you can say forever then in 6 yrs you still have forever. You will just have to wait until you are older and your parents are more approving. Get to know him better and be his best friend but any more right now is not good in any way.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:13 PM
    ChaNelLuver

    Hi thanks guys,
    Listen I know I'm young but I'm possitve he's the one! And only being friends would never in a million years work we love each other on a way higher connection.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:16 PM
    N0help4u

    What more can you do right now at your age without getting in trouble with your parents if they find out?
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:18 PM
    letmetellu

    I am going to make a prediction that within six months you will not like this guy at all and maybe even hate him.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:21 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    And he is interested in sex ( if they have not already reached that level)
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:30 PM
    jmjoseph
    I think you should tell your parents about everything that is important to you . They have your best interest at heart. You will not believe me now, but there will be another boy you like before the end of summer probably. Don't rush growing up, enjoy being a child . But you should talk to your mother about this now. And be careful on the internet.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 10:41 AM
    ChaNelLuver

    Okay he is different way different I swear We have been dating for about three months (but we were friends before then ) anyway he's not interested in sex... we haven't even kissed.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 12:28 PM
    MiSSsy111222

    Well I think you should tell your parents. Also there are millions of people who have thought they had found the "one" and it hasn't been true. 3 months is not a long time. Personally I think you should enjoy your childhood and not have to think and feel in such a grown up way.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 07:26 PM
    talaniman

    Okay you feel strongly about him, but what would your parents think if they found out before you told them? Keeping secrets like that from them will cause problems for you both, like being grounded for a long time, and him getting in trouble from your parents, and maybe his. Then what?

    Your maturity doesn't matter, your age does, and he is really to old for you. Especially if you have to sneak around to see each other.

    Sorry not what you want to hear, but as a father, I would be really mad at you both, and keep you apart.

    Is it worth all that trouble?
  • Jul 14, 2009, 12:57 PM
    ScottGem
    I know you think he's the one and you think you are way mature for your age. But the very fact that you are posting this shows that you aren't. A mature young lady would realize that infatuations occur several times during one's teen years. That children aren't allowed to date for good reasons. That your parents (and other adults) have lived through what you are going through now and know the truth about such relationships. This is why we have the "family unit" so children will have mentors to guide them through the, often painful, process of growing up. Trying to help them avoid the pitfalls they may have encountered or being there to pick up the pieces when they don't.

    Your parents love you, that's why they don't allow you to date at 12. Listen to them.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 05:14 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 007bradz View Post
    If this is genuine love then try meeting up and doing thing like go to the movies and just keep it low.
    But dont get too dependent on him.
    So you are advising a 12 yr old to defy her parents rules and sneak around with this boy! A relationship that starts with sneaking will generally end badly.

    This is a case of the blind leading the blind. You are a 14 yr old who thinks he knows a lot more than he actually does. You are in no position to give advice of this kind, In my opinion.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:09 AM
    ChaNelLuver

    My parents never said I couldn't date him, they don't even know who he is really, they've met him like once, and bearly said two words to him.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:29 AM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ChaNelLuver View Post
    My parents never said I couldn't date him, they don't even know who he is really, they've met him like once, and bearly said two words to him.
    No, your parents said you couldn't DATE, period.
    I'll tell you what. You take this boy to your parents, right now, say "This is my boyfriend, I'm dating him, he's sixteen, and I love him. I am 100% positive. I want to marry him and spend forever with him. I went onto AMHD, and people who have been through this before gave me advice. They didn't give me the "help" I wanted, so I'm not listening to what they say."

    If they support you, I will too.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 07:29 PM
    ChaNelLuver

    U guys suck!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 08:06 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ChaNelLuver View Post
    U guys suck!
    From a 12 year old, that's a compliment. :D
  • Jul 16, 2009, 05:07 AM
    ScottGem

    To Chanelluver,

    Please review the rules of this site. It prohibits vulgarity and insults. Your reaction here proves you are not nearly as mature as you think you are.


    To bandgeek121
    Comments on this post
    bandgeek121 disagrees: that's not very nice young lady! Be mature and listen to these people and you might learn something.

    While I agree with your comment its an inappropriate use of the comments feature. May I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

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