I Think I've Lost My Love
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 5 years now, I'm 26 and she is 25. We met in college, fell in love, and had a pretty much stress free relationship ever since. We rented an apartment together and have been living with each other for the last year and half. Last week I came home from being out of town for a couple days and I was excited to hang out with her. She didn't seem herself, rather quiet and short with her conversations. I asked her if everything was OK and of course she said everything was fine and not to worry. We watched a couple movies, took a nap together, just hung out. I awoke at about 4AM to her tossing and turning. She said, while it was late, she needed to talk to me. We talked about 2 hours, specifics I don't really recall, but the same key points were coming across. She said she felt unhappy, she's felt this way for a while. She didn't know why really but she couldn't continue her life unhappy. I agreed with her, not that I was unhappy too but rather she can't continue being unhappy. She said that it might be best if she moved out for a bit and stayed at her sisters. I complied and said that I would do whatever I had to do to make sure she was happy again. A couple days passed, we talked briefly at night before we went to bed, but no real serious conversations came up. While it had only been a couple of days, I was struggling to understand where we stood and told her we needed to make some decisions. After a long phone conversation, what was a rather wonderful 5 year relationship seemingly ended. The best part of everything was that it did end well, all things considered. We talked about the happy times we had, the memories we made together. We talked about how we want only the best for each other. No bridges were burned, no aggression was had. Instead we cried together and told each other how much we loved one another.
In terms of us as people, we both grew up with a rather tough childhood. My mother passed away suddenly when I was 19, her parents divorced suddenly when she was in high school. I think because of these incidents, we both had a difficult time committing to a relationship. In fact for both of us this was the only "real" relationship either of us ever had. But these incidents, I think, is what made us compatible. We understood each others fear of commitment and respected the people we've become as a result of our lives. We are so much alike it is scary and I guess part of me felt comfortable that because of this we would be together forever.
I know there are a hundred sob stories out there that start and end the same way. I know that I'm not alone at what I am feeling but I'm just so afraid to let her go. I'm worried that we're getting older (though 26-25 is still pretty young) and we might never get back what we had. I'm really afraid that it is really over. I'm trying to stick with the basics. Eat, drink, and keep busy at work. The worst part though is I see her everywhere, not literally but everything I do makes me think about her. It might sound stupid but I broke down looking at the dryer sheets last night. I couldn't imagine going somewhere as stupid as the laundry mat without her. It is so hard to be alone in a house that was once filled with happy times of both of us.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this story, while I'd love some advice I know there are better places to look for it. Not to offend anyone out there, but obviously your friends and family know better than anyone. I guess it just helped a lot to tell my story and I thank anyone who listened. And maybe if anyone has something similar they might share a word of advice. I love this girl, I always have. Ultimately I just want her to be happy but I would do anything to get her back. I'm willing to sit in therapy together, willing to just give her space, willing to really do anything. The only thing I'm not willing to do is let a wonderful 5 year relationship with the person I have been saving money for to buy a ring, end on a hour phone call. Thank you, really, for letting me sob my sorrows.