My fiance's son is 14. He has been involved in a lot of trouble in the last few years. Just this past week he vandalized school property, was caught with a bottle of liquor stolen from a friends house, hooked out of school the next day & was caught having sexual activity with his sister's friend at his mother house. As well as failing the 9th grade. He has never truly been punished for any of his actions. So the level of his offenses are increasing.
He lives with his mother & only stays with us every other weekend. My fiancé has discussed punishment with his exwife every time something happened. They agree on grounding & taking away privleges & length of punishment. Then within a day or so, the mom lets him off.
It's extremely frustrating for my fiancé because his son doesn't care if he does wrong. He knows that there won't really be a punishment... except every other weekend when he's with us. Then he's grounded & made to do yard & house work.
My fiancé talks about just giving up so he's not always the bad guy. I tell him that although his son might hate him now, when he's grown he'll realize who really cared.
But what else can we do before his son is in serious trouble that affects his entire life? I fear that may be soon!

I would think that you (your husband) can take it to family court and tell the Judge that he feels it is important that he get custody of him since he is getting in so much trouble living with his mother.