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-   -   Other kids (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=363299)

  • Jun 9, 2009, 07:31 PM
    Bam_Ari
    Other kids
    My Boyfriend has 3 other children and I can't get over the fact that he has other children by other people and, It's different with my daughter than it is with his other kids. What should I do?
  • Jun 9, 2009, 07:36 PM
    scott_1976

    It is very hard to deal with, my wife has three kids all with different fathers! If drove me nuts for a long time, I obsessed over it until I came to a point I had to chose, keep obsessing over her past and lose the woman that I love or let it go and concentrate on our present and future together!
  • Jun 9, 2009, 07:55 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Bam_Ari View Post
    My Boyfriend has 3 other children and I can't get over the fact that he has other children by other people and, It's different with my daughter than it is with his other kids. What should I do?

    Is your daughter his child? If not, well, it's different for him too.

    This is something you have to deal with if you want a relationship with this man. He has 3 children, they will always come before you and your daughter, that's the way it is. Either learn to accept it, learn to accept the kids, or find someone else, his kids deserve to be loved by however is in their fathers life.

    Good luck.
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:03 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    scott_1976 disagrees: He may equally value her and his kids
    I suggest you read the rules. Disagrees are only allowed for factually incorrect information, not for opinions which is what my post was.

    If you can't follow the rules you won't last long.
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:11 PM
    scott_1976

    Wow... I will make sure to stay away from your posts... sorry
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:15 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by scott_1976 View Post
    Wow......I will make sure to stay away from your posts....sorry

    No need. If you follow the rules you'll be fine. I don't mind a disagree if my information is incorrect, but my post was an opinion, and giving a reddie for that is against the rules of this site. Rules that you agreed to when you joined.

    Guess you should have read them before agreeing to them.
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:19 PM
    scott_1976

    I have kids and I love my wife in a different way of course but not less or more than my kids that is all I was trying to say...
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:20 PM
    Stringer

    Agree totally Alty... can't... need to spread the it around some first... sorry.

    Stringer
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:21 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by scott_1976 View Post
    Wow......I will make sure to stay away from your posts....sorry

    Here you go Scott_1976, please read this.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html
  • Jun 9, 2009, 08:21 PM
    Stringer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by scott_1976 View Post
    I have kids and I love my wife in a different way of course but not less or more than my kids that is all I was trying to say...

    That's fine, but you missed used the 'tools'... :rolleyes:
  • Jun 10, 2009, 03:59 PM
    Miller11
    It shouldn't matter that he has three other kids by someone else, because they are innocent children that should be loved and cared for no matter what. If your daughter is not his, well then I'm sure he feels the same as you do. I'm in the same situation as you only I treat my fiance's daughter the same as I do my daughter, with love etc etc. You knew he had children before you got with him, so you should have thought about it before you decided to start a relationship with him. I understand you want attention from him as well, but his kids come first no matter what. Just remember they are children and whether or not you can accept them as part of your life is your business but don't expect to be first when children are involved. In my opinion you need to learn to accept his kids if you expect your relationship to work out.

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