Hi everyone Im new to this site and really need some input from other people if you all don't mind? I recently had a friend who has been friends with me for almost 10 years. I married in 2006. My friend and I were intimate a few times but when I try to be friends with him he ignores me and I know he still has feelings for me deep down in my heart. But how can I be sure of these feelings when he ignores my text messages and acts like Im not there?

Well, first welcome.

I will request that your question be moved to the appropriate spot for the appropriate answers.

You are married, he has feelings for you, it is unfair to continue that friendship if he is unable to just be friends, as apparently he is.

It is also disrespectful to your husband to want to maintain a relationship with a man, you have been intimate with and still apparently have feelings for as well.

Are you still married?

My husband and I are going through a divorce but my feelings have always been there for my friend but I guess he just realized how strong his feelings were and probably felt guilty because I was still married when we got involved.

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

My husband and I are going through a divorce but my feelings have always been there for my friend but I guess he just realized how strong his feelings were and probably felt guilty because I was still married when we got involved.

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I would say try to keep the lines of communications open with him just as friends but wait to act on your feelings until the divorce is final.

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Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Well, first welcome.

I will request that your question be moved to the appropriate spot for the appropriate answers.

You are married, he has feelings for you, it is unfair to continue that friendship if he is unable to just be friends, as apparently he is.

It is also disrespectful to your husband to want to maintain a relationship with a man, you have been intimate with and still apparently have feelings for as well.

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- Where will I need to post my question regarding this situation?

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

- Where will I need to post my question regarding this situation??

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Under the topic Family & People
Sub-topic Marriage or Relationships

Thank-you

But why is my friend all of a sudden ignoring me I still want to be friends with him but I feel like he is sending mixed messages as far as not speaking to me. Why?

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

But why is my friend all of a sudden ignoring me I still want to be friends with him but I feel like he is sending mixed messages as far as not speaking to me. Why?

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Well you can't read minds can you, so you either forget about it or just flat out ask him! We can speculate all we want in this forum but you will not be able to move forward until you know the truth!

Ok how about this, I asked him why can't we hang out more? He says, because you will eventrually start to develop feelings for that person. He even stated, and besides you are married what can I expect from a relationship with you? I think that I am reading too much into him. If he was a true friend he would stick around regardless what the situation may be. Right ?

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

Ok how about this, I asked him why can't we hang out more? He says, because you will eventrually start to develop feelings for that person. He even stated, and besides you are married what can I expect from a relationship with you? I think that I am reading too much into him. If he was a true friend he would stick around regardless what the situation may be. Right ?

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Sounds to me he is not ready to play ball until he knows that you are divorced. Finish the divorce and than talk to him then and see what happens. Take it from someone who's been their you don't have to rush into another relationship right after your divorce is final. My divorce was final and a week later I was in Vegas getting married to my current wife. Don't get me wrong I love my wife very much but I wish I could have had a few years just for me before we got together. I got married the first time at 19 and was married 12 years so I never have lived alone in my adult life except for a short time when my first wife and I were separated.

Thanks Scott that does make a lot of sense and you are wiser than I am. Only 25 years old and feel like my friend is the one but I will take it easy and if he feels like talking afterwards then that's fine with me. Thanks again!!

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

Thanks Scott that does make alot of sense and you are wiser than I am. Only 25 years old and feel like my friend is the one but I will take it easy and if he feels like talking afterwards then thats fine with me. Thanks again!!!

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If it is meant to be it will happen I can assure you of that, my wife and I overcame incredible odds to be together!

Hey Scott, but that still doesn't explain the fact that we can't just talk as friends and hang out though. I want the friendship back

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

Hey Scott, but that still doesn't explain the fact that we can't just talk as friends and hang out though. I want the friendship back

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If he has really strong feelings for you than a friendship only relationship may be to painful for him and that might explain it.

I will keep you updated on my outcome, thanks again for your help Scott!

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Originally Posted by Diane2009

I will keep you updated on my outcome, thanks again for your help Scott!!

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I hope you find happiness! Good luck