I have a bad past with a ex boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him. This effects my current boyfriend. It effects him a lot actually. To the point, where sometimes its hard to look at me. I was my current boyfriends first.

The problem is, He wants sex all the time.
I don't want that, I had that with my last boyfriend.
But of course, My boyfriend guilts me into it, and says it's the only way he can get over my past.


I love my boyfriend very much, and it would kill me to lose him

I just wish there was a way to tell him that I don't want it all to be about sex.


I need help explaining to my boyfriend, let alone talk to him without a fight..
That I just want to have a healthy relationship with him
Because I feel like sex is ruining it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lbeth2

I have a bad past with a ex boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him. This effects my current boyfriend. It effects him a lot actually. To the point, where sometimes its hard to look at me. I was my current boyfriends first.

The problem is, He wants sex all the time.
I don't want that, I had that with my last boyfriend.
But of course, My boyfriend guilts me into it, and says its the only way he can get over my past.

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That is absolutely absurd to say to someone. I am sorry, but get rid of him. The easiest way to not let sex ruin a relationship is to stop having it. So quit, until your current boyfriend is mature enough to realize the past is the past. You have the power, so use it.

If I were in your shoes, I would get rid of him. PERIOD! How old are you two?

I think he guilts you into giving him what he wants. That's not loving care but blatant manipulation.

Stop letting him use you. I would be mad at him, and his behavior.

You say that you love him, but he obviously doesn't love you back.

He can't even respect your wishes. He can't accept your past. He's controlling. He's needy.

Stop trapping yourself. Have more self-respect and find a guy who actually cares you the same way you would care about him.

You tell him exactly what you said in your post. Who does he think he is?

If he can't take it, then he's not mature enough for the kind of relationship you're ready for. Don't take this type of treatment. There is nothing wrong with you for having a sexual past.

Never, never let anyone guilt you into sex. If he's pressuring you into sex, that's abuse.

The stuff he's saying to you is bull-$hit.

Let him know how you feel and tell it to him straight. A guy like that won't like the truth, but he needs to hear it.

Treat yourself with respect, and others will too.

This guy sounds like a major loser. It's the ONLY way he can get past it? What horse crap.

Tell him that if he can't get over your past then you'll need to break up but he can't keep using your past to get you to do things you don't want to do.

It's manipulation and it's wrong.

He is very manupilative and he obviously wants only one thing from you. He is also prepared to use a painful experience from your past to get it! He is a user and he is not worth your time!