My son's father is a habitual liar, dependent on his parents at 37 years of age, still lives at home with his parents and has harassed and threatened me.

I used to live with his family shortly before I gave birth to our son, but before I moved in with them he and his mother denied our son and he wasn't helping me financially. He even harassed me with phone calls at my job and cell phone during work and made a direct threat to me through my mother and older sister.

I have since moved out and stayed with my mother. I went to court to file for sole custody and he was paying child support and getting visitation. A couple of months ago I was bringing my son downstairs to see his father for his weekend visit and we slipped on the steps and fell. I panicked because his father was right outside the door ringing the bell! So, I checked my son out quickly and handed him to his father. When his father asked why he was crying I got scared and told him "I didn't know." When his father brought him to his house he called me again and I told him nothing had happened earlier so he took him to the hospital. The hospital staff told me that my son had a left broken leg right in front of my son's father and his mother. I was upset!! I lied to the doctor about what happened and Child Welfare was called. I spoke to a detective later and she spoke with a child abuse expert and they decided it was an accident and I wasn't arrested. And Child Welfare didn't take me to court but they ordered a court ordered investigation. I have constantly had to call them to keep status on my case and they never referred me for preventive services like they should have... I did it all on my own and I'm paying for half of it. They told me my case would be closed but now they decided to leave it open stating there was evidence or abuse/neglect only because it took 6 hours for me to admit the truth to the detective. (actually, it didn't take that long because after I told her the truth she told me she didn't believe me and made me take a written lie detector test and write another statement and questioned me over and over and over about the same thing). I've been getting supervised visits a week after this happened and end of this month I'll be getting unsupervised visits at my new apartment(I got the apartment 1 week before this incident). Meantime, I'm paying child support and only see my son 6 times per month. My son's father also has an order of protection against me!! When I left his parents house I went to the police station and filed a domestic violence order because he harassed me up until I left the house. My current lawyer told me that I stand no chance of getting back custody of my son, but the doctors I work with(I'm a Medical Assistant) and other people have told me to find another lawyer.

PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON MY SITUATION.

The first lie made it hard for them to believe you, regardless of how long it took for you to tell them the truth. As a father, I can understand why he has an order against you, if he has the child. The lawyer is probably right, you have a slim to none chance of getting your son back. The harassment order that you filed is after the fact.

Get another lawyer. As Shakepeare said: Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve. You set this up, but I can't believe its irreversible. If this is the only instance then you should get the benefit of the doubt.

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Originally Posted by freemac

My son's father is a habitual liar, dependent on his parents at 37 years of age, still lives at home with his parents and has harrassed and threatened me.

PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON MY SITUATION.

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Hello free:

Whatever he is, he didn't injure his son, and try to cover it up. I don't think you should have children in your presence.

Even IF I believed your version of events, which I don't, you are STILL guilty of abusing your child. Maybe not when he was hurt, but certainly when you refused to help him.

excon

Unfortunately you got yourself caught in a very sticky situation. You gave your chid's father the perfect fuel for his fire. You might want to talk to another lawyer for a second opinion. I'm no lawyer myself but I must say it doesn't sound good. I hope your coworkers and other well-meaning friends aren't filling your head with false hopes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freemac

My son's father is a habitual liar, dependent on his parents at 37 years of age, still lives at home with his parents and has harrassed and threatened me.

I used to live with his family shortly before I gave birth to our son, but before I moved in with them he and his mother denied our son and he wasn't helping me financially. He even harrassed me with phone calls at my job and cell phone during work and made a direct threat to me through my mother and older sister.

I have since moved out and stayed with my mother. I went to court to file for sole custody and he was paying child support and getting visitation. A couple of months ago I was bringing my son downstairs to see his father for his weekend visit and we slipped on the steps and fell. I panicked because his father was right outside the door ringing the bell! So, I checked my son out quickly and handed him to his father. When his father asked why he was crying I got scared and told him "I didn't know." When his father brought him to his house he called me again and I told him nothing had happened earlier so he took him to the hospital. The hospital staff told me that my son had a left broken leg right in front of my son's father and his mother. I was upset!!!! I lied to the doctor about what happened and Child Welfare was called. I spoke to a detective later and she spoke with a child abuse expert and they decided it was an accident and I wasn't arrested. And Child Welfare didn't take me to court but they ordered a court ordered investigation. I have constantly had to call them to keep status on my case and they never referred me for preventive services like they should have........I did it all on my own and I'm paying for half of it. They told me my case would be closed but now they decided to leave it open stating there was evidence or abuse/neglect only because it took 6 hours for me to admit the truth to the detective. (actually, it didn't take that long because after I told her the truth she told me she didn't believe me and made me take a written lie detector test and write another statement and questioned me over and over and over about the same thing). I've been getting supervised visits a week after this happened and end of this month I'll be getting unsupervised visits at my new apartment(I got the apartment 1 week before this incident). Meantime, I'm paying child support and only see my son 6 times per month. My son's father also has an order of protection against me!!! When I left his parents house I went to the police station and filed a domestic violence order because he harassed me up until I left the house. My current lawyer told me that I stand no chance of getting back custody of my son, but the doctors I work with(I'm a Medical Assistant) and other people have told me to find another lawyer.

PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON MY SITUATION.

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The comments that I received are fair but some very harsh. I don't feel comfortable with the comment that I don't deserve to have children in my home or presence. I am acknowledging that I made a mistake but I still don't think it makes me a bad mother. And I KNOW FOR A FACT, regardless of what anyone thinks, that it was STRICTLY AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT. I'm not trying to cover up or made excuses to make what I did wrong seem right. However, if I didn't fear my son's father so much I would have reacted differently. I can only see my son 6 times a month now and soon it will be 3 days a month. And although I admitted to my son's father the truth and apologized, he is still doing everything possiblel to keep me from seeing him. So now, what will happen? My son will grow up without knowing his mother. He doesn't know me now and it really tears me up to even write that statement alone. There is a bigger picture to look at other than the accident. He was able to heal quickly from that and Thank God! However, the emotional trauma that I endured with his paternal family and what he'll have to endure from them growing up cannot be healed quickly.

I read a quote that read, "I don't have to lie since I fear no one. The only time we lie is when we're afraid." I'm not giving up on my son. I will fight for him; and I don't believe my co-workers and family are giving me false hope. I think they are giving me support and encouragement because they love my son as much as I do.

You know, I just didn't get the sense that you were anything but truthful when writing your post. Maybe I'm wrong, but I completely understood you when you felt that you had to lie to your ex out of fear.

Living with a man you fear makes you do a lot of things you would otherwise never do.

Obviously, I understand that this incident happened very quickly and I assume that you did not think the fall was severe enough to cause a broken leg or you would not have lied and handed the kid over to your ex like you did.

I really have no advice for you, as I am not experienced with legal stuff, but just wanted to say that I thought you were being genuine.

I hope all goes well and that your child finishes as the winner. :)

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Originally Posted by freemac

that it was STRICTLY AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT. I'm not trying to cover up or made excuses to make what I did wrong seem right. However, if I didn't fear my son's father so much I would have reacted differently.

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Hello again, free:

Sorry, I'm not buying it. And, you're missing my point. There are TWO parts to this occurrence, not just one: (1) the injury and (2) what you did about it.

Ok, the injury was an accident. Fine. What did you do about it? You looked out for YOUR welfare and NOT your sons'.

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Originally Posted by freemac

However, the emotional trauma that I endured with his paternal family …. cannot be healed quickly.

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Looks to me, like you're still concerned with YOUR welfare. You seem to think YOU'RE the victim here.

excon

I thank everyone for their comments on my situation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freemac

My son's father is a habitual liar, dependent on his parents at 37 years of age, still lives at home with his parents and has harrassed and threatened me.

I used to live with his family shortly before I gave birth to our son, but before I moved in with them he and his mother denied our son and he wasn't helping me financially. He even harrassed me with phone calls at my job and cell phone during work and made a direct threat to me through my mother and older sister.

I have since moved out and stayed with my mother. I went to court to file for sole custody and he was paying child support and getting visitation. A couple of months ago I was bringing my son downstairs to see his father for his weekend visit and we slipped on the steps and fell. I panicked because his father was right outside the door ringing the bell! So, I checked my son out quickly and handed him to his father. When his father asked why he was crying I got scared and told him "I didn't know." When his father brought him to his house he called me again and I told him nothing had happened earlier so he took him to the hospital. The hospital staff told me that my son had a left broken leg right in front of my son's father and his mother. I was upset!!!! I lied to the doctor about what happened and Child Welfare was called. I spoke to a detective later and she spoke with a child abuse expert and they decided it was an accident and I wasn't arrested. And Child Welfare didn't take me to court but they ordered a court ordered investigation. I have constantly had to call them to keep status on my case and they never referred me for preventive services like they should have........I did it all on my own and I'm paying for half of it. They told me my case would be closed but now they decided to leave it open stating there was evidence or abuse/neglect only because it took 6 hours for me to admit the truth to the detective. (actually, it didn't take that long because after I told her the truth she told me she didn't believe me and made me take a written lie detector test and write another statement and questioned me over and over and over about the same thing). I've been getting supervised visits a week after this happened and end of this month I'll be getting unsupervised visits at my new apartment(I got the apartment 1 week before this incident). Meantime, I'm paying child support and only see my son 6 times per month. My son's father also has an order of protection against me!!! When I left his parents house I went to the police station and filed a domestic violence order because he harassed me up until I left the house. My current lawyer told me that I stand no chance of getting back custody of my son, but the doctors I work with(I'm a Medical Assistant) and other people have told me to find another lawyer.

PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON MY SITUATION.

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I agree. My stepdad is a lawyer, and after asking him, he suggested that you find a different lawyer. If your current lawyer cannot provide you with the help you need to win your case, find a lawyer who will. Do you, by the way, have any advice for me on parental rights for a teenage father?

HAHAHAHAHAHA You have a lawyer as a parent, and you are asking us.
Anyway, if you don't have a child support order, the mother is able to do whatever she wants and what she says goes.

Your child leg was broken….this a traumatic event in his life…if it could have been his grandparents or his father that caused harm to your child…it was your duty to protect him…or had you been responsible…You believe you had nothing to do with this event but you lied to the authority….out of fear…not a good move on your part…now no matter what you say or do this child is struck in a bad situation that no ones knows whom to trust…but you need another lawyer…

I really think ExCon is being a bit harsh. People who are in abusive relationships go into self preservation mode when being confronted by the abuser. This causes the abused to not think clearly especially when intimidated. People make mistakes and they should not be slammed for them. It is wonderful to know that there are perfect people such as ExCon in the world though, who never ever make such mistakes. I would like to know where he got the book 'How to be a Parent in a difficult Situation' I would love a copy.
Girl get a lawyer who cares and can get you out of this situation. You made a mistake and paid the price. Dust off, keep moving and do whatever you need to do to stay in your son's life. Call him daily, send him cards, anything. Let those conniving people know that you are not going away. I have had to do the same with my parents who took custody of my son. I am a thorn in their side and a pillar of support for my son. He knows where to go when the chips are down and your son will as well. Keep your chin up. Karma is a biotch and loves to take a chunk of arse for dinner. Good luck!