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-   -   Is he on rebound? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=362675)

  • Jun 8, 2009, 07:06 AM
    Sats
    Is he on rebound?
    Hi!
    I need some advice. My boyfriend just broke up with me about 2 month ago. We were together for 6 years and 9 mnd. The last 3 years we had a long distance relationship, which have been very difficult for us. Suddenly out of the blue he said that he needs some space. He wanted to be for himself for a while. I thougt it just was his stress because he was finhised the school and was trying to seek for a job. At that time I also had a bad periode. I was tired of everything, and didn't care about him. So I said to him that our relationship is in trouble. He didn't courage to break up with me, I had to help him. Deep in my heart I was hoping that he would tried to give us a chance. I took the break up very badly and so did he. I don't have so contact with him now, only the first month. I know deep in my heart that he still loves me, but the sparkle beetween us was gone as he said. I forgot to tell that we are eachothers first love.

    Now I know that he is already seeing someone else. I think they are in a romantic thing. She is his classmate. And its kills me. First time that I contact him after a month without no contact I asked him if he were flirting just to show him that I was OK. He said that he is not, but he is have more contact with other girls now. Why did he not tell me? I know that he cares for me. The thing is that I am really happy that he is seeing someone to find himself etc. But I want him to realise that he want to give us a chance. We had a great thing going on. We were planning to if we stick together until summer, everytning would be better.

    I love him so much that its hurts. Because I have so much more to give. And I know he still loves me. I know that he wants to fall in love again, and I want him to. I want him to be happy. I don't know if he is in rebound with her or not. But one thing I know it's that I don't want to give up on us.

    What can I do to win him back
  • Jun 8, 2009, 07:18 AM
    kctiger

    He is dating someone else... that is usually a clear sign they don't want you anymore. He isn't a prize or trophy to be won. Why would you want someone after they broke up with you to find themselves and started dating someone else?

    If he loved you, as in "in love" he wouldn't have broken up with you. He still cares about you as a person, but what you two had is over, and from the sounds of it, it had been over for awhile, but neither of you had the courage to end it.

    Do not call him or contact him as that does you no good. Begin to heal and see what life is like without his company.
  • Jun 8, 2009, 07:20 AM
    Romefalls19

    When someone ends the relationship and starts dating someone else, it's a pretty good sign that things are over between you two. You need to stop worrying about his life and worry about what you can do to get your life back on track, without HIM!
  • Jun 8, 2009, 08:39 AM
    I wish

    It doesn't matter if it's a rebound anymore. The fact is, he's decided to give up on repairing his relationship with you and wants to move on with his life.

    He might still care about you, but that's just normal. We all care about our ex's to a certain extent, but not the kind of care to get back together. You'll have to learn that difference.

    He's moving on with his life, so now it's time for you to do the same thing. Stop contacting him and getting updates about his life. That will just cause you more pain and suffering.
  • Jun 8, 2009, 08:51 AM
    talaniman
    Face some reality, and stop fooling yourself. He has gone about his business, and doing his thing. For whatever reasons he has left you, you must pick up the pieces, and get on with your own life.
  • Jun 8, 2009, 08:52 AM
    Holly23
    You can't force someone to love you.Imagine if he saw this,what you wrote,he'd think your mental!Let go woman!Stop living in the past.And think about it if you did get back together because you begged and begged would you really want to be with someone that didn't really want to be with you?
  • Jun 8, 2009, 05:15 PM
    Gemini54
    In the end it doesn't matter what you want in the relationship - he clearly doesn't want the same thing as you.

    It's sad that you're having second thoughts but there is very little that you can do to win him back if he's not interested. In any case, he's with someone else now, so it wouldn't be fair to them.

    There is no point in living with the fantasy that he still loves you. Let him go and move on with your life.
  • Jun 8, 2009, 05:18 PM
    susangpyp

    You really need to focus on you and stay out of his head. He wants it over and is seeing other people. You need to focus on you and getting over it and rebuilding your life.

    Also it will help if you stop contacting him or having any contact with him.
  • Jun 8, 2009, 05:21 PM
    88sunflower
    Well if he loves you he would have come back. Seems as though you thought you were ready to move on until it actually happened. Let him go. You split for a reason. Life goes on and yours should to. You can love him the rest of your life but it won't do any good unless he feels the same in return. Let it be. Time will tell what love was there if you find yourself on the road to each other again.

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