Hey. Im new to this community. I'm 18 years old and am in love with a girl who has a boyfriend, but here's the catch she likes me too. She's been having problems with her relationship and told me she was very confused about everything. I was assuming it was about her liking me but also with her boyfriend. We have known each other for about 8 months, but only hung out a handful of times. I have told her in the past that I liked her. We stopped talking for about a month and I got this random text from her one night telling me how she is so confused and telling me how nice and genuine I am to her and how I always look on the positive side of things, which were very nice compliments lol. I was very confused at that time cause it was something out of the blue. And I told her that I was confused and she told me this. Quote on quote. "I know. I was very confused at that time and i was just thinking about how you said you liked me. and i know we ended up not going out right now but I wanted to let you know how good and genuine you are. and when and if im ever single i dont want you to forget about me." After all of this we started talking a lot more then we used to and began flirting and asking deep questions about relationships. She would always tell that she feels bad because she felt like she was leading me on. I told her she was not leading me on and that I would have the patience as long as it takes to get to know her better and she told me the same that when she is single she wants to get to know me better also. This all lasted for about two weeks until the talking started to die. I asked her why we haven't spoken. And she told me that she feels guilty. So I told her that I completley understand and I said for her to work on her relationship because I don't want to ruin anything or cause any problems. We barely speak anymore and I've been thinking about her everyday. I even told her that she is driving me nuts because I think about her all the time. Ahhaa. I feel like I want to ask her how she feels about me because she never really told. But I feel it would be too straight forward. What should I do?

Hey there. Although this isn't the ideal response you want my advice is to just taked a step back from the situation. The end of a relationship can be messy, especially without third partys being involved! Let her know your there to support her but give her space and try to limit any intimate contact for a while, whether that be psychical or otherwise. If you tow are meant to be together and her feelings are reciprocal then you everything will pan out fine my friend. Hope this helps

Rushing... never solves anything, and you need to remember she is in a relationship with someone and it doesn't matter if its good or not because if you get involved you will be blamed for anything that happens... full stop.

Back away and keep your distance, if she hasn't contacted you then she probably has a lot to think about and you shouldn't interfere, even though it might be hard not to... DON'T.

And she'll contact you when she's ready.

Hi I'm sorry to tell you this probably won't work out for you if you two have been seeing each other for more than a few weeks its likely she isn't going to leave her guy for you. Like bj88 said be there when she needs you but don't crowd her. The other thing is beware of crocodile smiles whilst she may be a sweet girl she may also be leading you on and dangeling a string for you. I particularly think this could be the case as she has said she's sorry if she lead you on. This shows she's aware of it but the fact she carried on may show she's not as harmless as she seems. Be careful and don't do anything that could make her current boy friend think you are stealing his girl. You don't need that hassel.

I have told her that I think our communication should stop so I can lose my feelings for her and she understood. Im definitely going to take it in effect to back away. Thank you everyone for your responses I sincerely appreciate it.

I think that she's unhappy in her current relationship, and you're a convenient and flattering outlet for her.

She's knows that you like her, but she's not leaving her current BF is she?

I would stop telling her how you feel or even communicating with her.

Anyway, how would you feel if you were her BF? Think about it from his point of view.

She's with someone else, she needs to work it out. And, you need to find something else to think about.

I appreciate it Gemini. Thank you again everyone.

Just a bit of perspective. My ex left me for a guy just like you ;) She wasn't happy with our relationship, and instead of talking to me about it she distracted herself by hanging out with the other guy.

The sad part is, you're probably a really nice guy, and I bet you aren't trying to make things difficult. What I want you to realize is that if a girl is attracted to you, and really wants to be with you (and only you) then she needs some time alone to sort that out and be sure.

Trust me, I've been a rebound enough times to know that if you pick up right where another guy left off, you'll eventually lose her to another guy later on.

If she ends up leaving the guy later on, that's her journey and her life to figure out. Don't wait around for her, because even if she does want you, it's probably just as a band-aid to make her feel better.

I might sound chauvinistic, but I am just giving you my own experiences so that you might avoid making the same mistakes I did.

~ Tee

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Originally Posted by Triysle

Just a bit of perspective. My ex left me for a guy just like you ;) She wasn't happy with our relationship, and instead of talking to me about it she distracted herself by hanging out with the other guy.

The sad part is, you're probably a really nice guy, and I bet you aren't trying to make things difficult. What I want you to realize is that if a girl is attracted to you, and really wants to be with you (and only you) then she needs some time alone to sort that out and be sure.

Trust me, I've been a rebound enough times to know that if you pick up right where another guy left off, you'll eventually lose her to another guy later on.

If she ends up leaving the guy later on, that's her journey and her life to figure out. Don't wait around for her, because even if she does want you, it's probably just as a band-aid to make her feel better.

I might sound chauvinistic, but I am just giving you my own experiences so that you might avoid making the same mistakes I did.

~ Tee

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That was quite the post. I'm glad you shared your experience with me. It takes it into a different perspective. Thank you so much. I definitely am not going to wait around and I'm going to cut all communication. Thank you again.

I have gone through a situation similar to this. My advise is to somehow forget her.I know that its not easy , but I can assure you that after some time you will overcome from the situation. According to the experience I have, the best thing that you can do is to try to get closer to a girl who is much more attractive,who have good qualities than the girl over whom you have gone crazy.It will remind you that there are plenty of fish in the sea and it's a matter of selection. In fact you don't need to start a relationship with that new girl if you don't want. But try to keep in touch with her till you become all right. Who knows that the person whom you have selected to spend some time in order get rid of the memories of the girl whom you love, would finally end up being your life partner.One final thing I must say, everything is impermanent.therefore as much your happiness won't last forever, the sadness which burns you day and night also won't last forever. That will also will pass.Let the time solve everything. But you should act wisely.

Hey guys. I'm in need of a little assistance. I have this huge thing for this girl at my school. I'm a senior and I haven't dated anyone since freshman year. I met this girl one summer and I didn't have feelings for her at all until one day on Facebook. Her boyfriend dumped her and she came to me out of everyone else. Not only was I honored, but really surprised.

I hate to say it but we talked for 6 weeks straight whether it was Facebook or via text we always seemed to be talking. It was usually her texting me and I thought she and I were going somewhere. Then one day she stopped. It was a week before our homecoming and she was still grieving over her ex boyfriend who I had really helped her try to get over. I later found out that she was asked to homecoming by this guy who had no history at all. They have one class together and they are both in marching band. Anyway they went to homecoming on Saturday and became boyfriend and girlfriend the following Monday. Yes, I was extremely upset and confused. I kind of assumed I was her rebound and nothing more so I wanted to try to get over her... but I just can't. There is just something about her. She insanely beautiful on the inside and out, we have so much in common and I love to be around her. She just makes me the happiest person in the world and as time went on I started to care even more and more about her to a point where as long as she is happy I'm the happiest person in the entire universe. So that following Wednesday I told her my feelings. She never really gave me a direct answer but she told on of our friends that she loves me more than anything and wants to be the best of friends and doesn't want to stop talking to me. I understand that but I want more. I'm insanely jealous of her boyfriend mainly because he wanted nothing to do with her until after her boyfriend broke up with her. It's just really depressing.

I thought we had something special then she went and did a 360 on me. Currently, she says she is really happy with him and they are neighbors so they hang out everyday. I'm so in love with this girl but I can't help but feel sadness every time she talks about her boyfriend. Part of me wants to move on but she and I are so close that I simply cannot move on. There are neurons in my brain that just go off every time she is around me. She's just amazing. But every day hurts. Every day her and her boyfriend get closer and it makes me feel even more depressed. I don't want to not be friends with her or ignore her but I feel like that's what I might need to do. Oh and they also have the same birthday. I also have talked to one of her friends and she told me she gets a little infatuated with her boyfriends... if that helps haha.

It would be greatly appreciated if I could have some advice. Thank you.