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-   -   Is it the right decision? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=362447)

  • Jun 7, 2009, 02:26 PM
    isolated
    Is it the right decision?
    Assala mu Alaikum..
    I have a friend who is going to get married within some months . She prays regularly and is very fond of gaining knowledge in Islam. Her to be husband was suppose to get married to another girl before my friend. But he then refused to marry her because her attitude was wrong. And things she use to do made the man angry and upset. He was a very bad guy before and as she use to upset him,he use to talk bad to that girl and give her and her family very high bad words.. But the girl(my friend) now who he is suppose to get married Alhamdullillah completely changed him by giving him thoughts and fear of Allah n His punishments.
    But that past girl who he was suppose to get married before could not resist the fact of him marrying someone else and started insulting him through sms. She tells him and his family bad and very bad words.. His mother is a widow but that girl talks bad and insults his dead father very very grossly..
    Eg:ur dad sold your mom to people and died.. Ur father was also a p**p. I am sorry to use such a language.. That girl knows my friend and is spreading really bad rumours about her in her university.
    But my friend says nothing and tells her to be husband to keep quiet and leave it on Allah (SWT). My friend says that he has done wrong with that girl by not marrying her. But she should complain about him to Allah so that He punishes him. But she is not giving a chance to Allah to make justice..
    At times I tell her and her to be husband to do something about that girl but my friend says to keep quiet and says Allah is watching everything and we will get the reward for it..
    This is increasing day by day, but they are not saying anything to the girl.. Is my friend right by taking these decisions or should they take a step to stop that female.. I am confused, please reply quickly as she is my best friend and they both are very dearly to me.
    Assalamu Alaikum..
  • Jun 7, 2009, 02:51 PM
    liz28

    You have no power over the things people say. This girl is jealous and anger so this is why she is doing what she does. Is it wrong yes but it will some back to her.

    As far as the rumors goes, if anyone knows your friend they will know it is false and know this girl intentions behind her rumors--jealosy. So she couldn't pay this any mind and should let it go.

    Tell her focus on herself and her future husband.
  • Jun 30, 2009, 03:03 AM
    SimpleBeautiful
    Walaykum Salam Wa Rahmatullah,

    Definitely your friend is doing the right thing because we must remain sabr (patient) and modest.

    This young lady spreading rumors shows her ignorance and the need to seek attention from your friend and her husband. Avoiding her is best and your friend should make Du'a for this other lady. Your friend will accomplish nothing by engaging in agruements with this young lady or even entertaining her period. For what? To argue and give the other lady the satisfaction to cause fitnah in her marriage. Of course not. Plus, that lady is persistent, speaking to her will not change the situation but increase the drama. For a muslim there is power in the Du'a and different test will come to us in life, it is how you choose to deal with them. Your friend is so right not to compromise her faith and respect herself to indulge in such nonsense. And your friend said it best Allah watches everything we do, so He (swt) sees your friends patience and He (swt) sees the other woman. Its so easy to agrue and partake in this foolishness with the other girl but its harder and takes a bigger person to avoid it. InshaAllah your friend will be rewarded abundatly for remembering Allah (swt).

    P.S. The rumors are just words. She knows they are not true and if they were so... That is a tactic the lady is using to provoke a reaction. Never let someone have that much control on you to make you angry.
    Wassalam

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