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-   -   I'm anti drug.he's not so anti. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=362117)

  • Jun 6, 2009, 01:46 PM
    Holly23
    Im anti drug.hes not so anti.
    Im not an idiot.
    Basically Im with a guy, who Im in love with.
    He treats me very well.We have great trust for each other.Its all good, except Im totally anti drug.. and he enjoys the occasional buzz we'll say..
    I don't know what to do.To stay or not?
  • Jun 6, 2009, 01:53 PM
    mudweiser

    I don't think you should stay with him. A friendship could work but I don't think a romantic relationship would. You both have different morals.

    An occasional buzz could be a doorway to an addiction, are you prepared to handle that? How about if you move in together- are you okay with drugs in the house? Will you shrug it off or become a nag.

    Just a thought.

    Sarah
  • Jun 6, 2009, 02:18 PM
    Triysle
    If you really love someone, then you have to accept them for who they are instead of trying to change them. If you cannot be happy with him, and he does not want to change, then there is nothing you can do to change him.

    You are better off giving him an ultimatum here. If he chooses the drugs, then that sucks, but you deserve someone who desires to be with you more than a fancy chemical.

    ~ Tee
  • Jun 6, 2009, 03:17 PM
    snow124
    Currently, he's only putting himself at risk by breaking the law. Once you move in together, he'll be putting you at risk.

    I agree with mudweiser - you have different morals. I'm extremely anti-drug myself and would never compromise on this. It's a fundamental difference and nothing good will come from the disparity.
  • Jun 6, 2009, 03:56 PM
    Nestorian
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Holly23 View Post
    Im not an idiot.
    Basically Im with a guy, who Im in love with.
    He treats me very well.We have great trust for eachother.Its all good, except Im totally anti drug..and he enjoys the occasional buzz we'll say..
    I dont know what to do.To stay or not?

    Is that so? I advise you to refrain from defending yourself against your insecurities, for the longer you fight them, the deeper they take root in you, as they are always on your mind.

    Love comes and it goes, haven't you seen/read "He's just not that into you."? Relax a little, and breath. You have yourself backed into a corner already and we havent' even said anything, let your defences down and maybe you'll see that we aren't here just to tell how we see it.
    If you love him, then either you learn to accept his occasional "buzz" endevor. Then again you could, as Mudweiser said, just be his friend and maybe he will grow out of it, or you will find some one else.
    As hellen Keller said,“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

    Peace and kindness be with you.
  • Jun 6, 2009, 04:58 PM
    talaniman

    Play it straight, and honest, and tell the truth, your against the drugs, and that's just it. This should at least get you talking about it, and the boundaries for acceptable behavior between you. You BOTH have to accept each other for who you are, (opposites? ) and make compromises and adjustments, or no one will be happy.

    Is his "buzzing " a deal breaker? Only you know, but I suspect you don't like it one bit.

    Nor should you.
  • Jun 6, 2009, 05:41 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You go,
  • Jun 6, 2009, 06:03 PM
    ordinaryguy

    What "drugs" are we talking about specifically? There are huge differences in terms of addictive potential and health effects, if that's what you're concerned about. Alcohol is one of the worst in this respect, even though it's legal.

    If it's illegality that worries you, it depends on where you live. In some places, they're all equally illegal, in others some are felonies and others are misdemeanors. It's not a "moral" issue unless you equate "legal" and "moral".

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