I broke up with my girlfriend, but I'm the confused one
My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and 4 months, and everything was great for the first 10 months or so, and cliché as always, but after that, we started having our little bickering fights, and I would get pissed off, and it'd escalate, and eventually I would feel tired of it, and want to break up, eventually we'd calm down and wouldn't break up and everything would be fine by the end of the phone call.
Well as of yesterday, I finally broke it off, and I feel terrible about it, and am sort of confused on where I'm at. My reasoning for breaking it off, was for the fact that I feel this relationship just isn't what it used to be, and that I treat her like crap because I'm tired of it, and it isn't fair. She has tried and tried, to tell me that she'll change, no matter how much I tell her, that it was nothing she really did in the first place, I just felt that things were changing. I find myself crying about it, every time I even think of her.
I'm 22, and she is 19, she is in a terrible situation. When I first met her, she had dropped out of high school and wasn't doing much. I helped push her, and helped her get her GED, she passed and got it, I helped her with her driving and let her use my car for her road test, she passed. I would fund her a couple packs of cigarettes a week, because her parents were split up, while her and her mom lived with her grandparents(mom has no job, just lays around all the time), and her dad isn't much better. Her grandparents don't seem to want to help either, and they lay it all on me. Not to mention there isn't a single person in her family that will help get her a car, or help her do pretty much anything whether its work or school. At times, it became way too much. I think sometimes I stayed this long, because on many occasions I felt bad for her and what would happen to her because I care more about her than anyone else I had ever been with(she also did take my virginity).
I really don't know what is right, or how to even go about figuring out what is really right. I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for, I'm just so shaken up from this. She is my first girlfriend that has lasted this long, and has become so attached that it makes this that much harder to cope with. On top of all the help she doesn't have, since getting with me, she has just about lost all contact with her friends(I did too, but they're more welcoming than the lowlifes she knew), making me, even at this point, her only friend. So now, she tries to talk to me, and trying to stay friends, while at the same time trying to get me to take all of this back and stay with her, and at times, I do, just like before, because I'm afraid of what's going to happen to her, and afraid of what my life would be like without her.
I guess any type of advice to steer me into any kind of right direction would be great, or if anyone has something similar they've went through that might help me out.
