I am really in a tough situation.

I used to go to school with this girl and we were nothing more than acquantances.. not even friends.. high school came around and I grew a little closer into a friend.

She's the type of girl that's not a drinker and someone who you would want to keep. I took her to homecoming last year and I think she had a good time. But this year, my best friends all have girlfriends and when we go out I'm in a really akward position because my friends are all with a girl and I'm just "friends" with some.

Its really hard to get a hold of this girl, sometimes she doesn't get texts and she's never online, I hope she's not ignoring me but thing is I'm really starting to love her more and more everyday, even though I don't see her.

I want to ask her out but I don't want to ruin myh relatinoship with her and her parents (cuz they like me too). I don't know what to do, should I call her and tell her my felings or try and plan a day (which is impossible because she's always so busy) and then ask her if she likes anyone.

She was over a few days ago and someone said we were a cute couple, even though we weren't, and she said we were like brothers and I don't know what way to take that, could this ever work out?

Thanks

Hmmm OK if she hasn't talked to you and is "hard to get a hold of" and you have the feeling she's ignoring you, than she might just be... If she was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about her than she would probably try to get in touch with you or be a little more "available". However she could like you but have the same questions about it or be just as confused about what to do as you are.

Anyway, I say you will never know if you don't talk to her about it. You don't have to make it awkward... If someone mistook you for a couple rather then friends or something like that its obvious that you are close... and if you are good friends a talk like that shouldn't end it. (the friendship that is) regardless of the out come.

As for the question of could it work out.. I don't think anyone here could anser that for you.. we do not know you personally nor her personally or how you interact with each other... the only person who could anwer that for you is her.

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but this year, my best friends all have girlfriends and when we go out I'm in a really akward position because my friends are all with a girl and I'm just "friends" with some

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The fact that she goes out is a good sign so forget what your friends say and don't give them a second thought since you should be focused on getting this female to the next level with you. Be honest and make sure she has a great time, no need to push.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

The fact that she goes out is a good sign so forget what your friends say and don't give them a second thought since you should be focused on getting this female to the next level with you. Be honest and make sure she has a great time, no need to push.

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No she doesn't come with us, yesterday I invited her and she was busy, I understand that. My friends don't say anything though. They're great they're trying to get me get a girlfriend because.. there's 3 of us and we're inseparable. Problem is we're like 2 years apart in age (im 2 years younger than other 2) 16, 18,19. But I'm gnna continue to invite her whenever we all hang out, and even without that. Problem is trying to fin da time when she's not busy with school/dance/community service

Hmmm just a thought but maybe since she is so busy... it could be that she has a lot on her plate to have time for a boyfriend right now... but maybe to show her you're interested in more then just friends you could take an interest in her activities... like you say she dances.. does she perform? You could see one sometime... But I totally agree with Talaniman don't push things

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Originally Posted by beautifuldiva

hmmm just a thought but maybe since she is so busy... it could be that she has a lot on her plate to have time for a bf right now... but maybe to show her you're interested in more then just friends you could take an interest in her activities... like u say she dances.. does she perform? You could see one sometime... But i totally agree with Talaniman dont push things

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Last year she did a gymnastic thing in an opera and her dad invited only my family and one other, so I went to see it and she saw I was there, so she knows I care and I'm cool w/ all she does. It's almost a perfect situatino. Her dad likes me which is usually the problem. Only problem with the whole situatino is the accesibility and friendship barrier

Haha yes you got through the toughest barrier! Lol But that is good on your part that you did that. And I say you are on the right track.. just keep doing what your doing and when the time is right and slip in "the convo" lol just sounds like you are in the beginning of something.. all relationships have to start this way if you think about it... soon you will break down that friendship barrier but you have to do it by talking to her

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Originally Posted by beautifuldiva

haha yes u got thru the toughest barrier! lol But that is good on your part that you did that. And i say you are on the right track.. just keep doin what ur doin and when the time is right and slip in "the convo" lol just sounds like you are in the beginning of something.. all relationships have to start out this way if you think about it... soon you will break down that friendship barrier but you have to do it by talking to her

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What would you say is the best way to do this? Since she's hard to get a hold of and some texts don't go through. Should I call her or try and plan a day to go hang out and bring up if she likes anyone.. what would you guys say is the best way to handle this part?

Thanks

Do both. Call her and talk a bit then plan with her a day for you to hang out and you could take it from there... though I'm not really sure the asking if she likes "anyone" will be a great idea... it might be better just to be straight forward about it and not beat around the bush... It doesn't have to be weird.. just start by saying that you love hanging out with her and wish you could do it more often.. tell her you like her. Just enough so that she is clear that you are interested.. you don't have to decide to be a couple yet... you're just getting the ball rolling here.

Do relationships like this (family friends) usually work out from your experience? Sorry for all the questions just that I grew a love for her so fast it was ridiculous. When she couldn't come with us last nigth I felt like not even going. And I couldn't sleep last nigh ttil today because I kept having a dream of asking her out like 50 times and she kept saying no.. But it was a different scenario each time.. got irritating after a while

Umm personally I think the status of the person be it family friend, school friend, co worker, casual friend, etc. really has little to do with the outcome of a relationship... however the boyfriend I have right now was a family friend and today is our seven month anniversary! :) if that helps... and awe I'm sorry you are stressin so much! Lol but hey you still have her... its not like your losing her or she's going anywhere... just slow down, talk to her about it, and breath... lol Take it easy and keep it casual and fun! Sounds like you're doing great already :)

All right coolz, congratz on 7 months and thanks for all your help

Anytime, thanks, and good luck to you! :)

Yeah I agree with diva! Go for it!

Man, I get my hopes all up reading this, and then I go bak to reality and see that I sent her 2 texts today and no response saying how like it would've been cool if you came last night. I want to talk to her but don't know if I should call right now, because that would be like I'm too desperate.. 2 texts and a call within a day w/ no response. Especially if she doesn't pick up.. 2 texts and a missed call.. would have kind of bad... my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

All right... I would wait a little while.. see if she responds. BUT the next time you try to get a hold of her... MAKE IT A CALL! Don't text her and if she doesn't answer leave a message... that way you know she got the call and the message and the ball is in her court. You want this girl to know that your into her but you are right you do not want to look desperate. And I'm sorry I don't mean for you to be getting your hopes up! Which is a good point you bring up yourself actually... there is a chance that she might not see anything between you.. but all you can do is let her know how you feel and accept whatever her response is to that

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Originally Posted by basketb23

my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

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It is not your heart. It is your craving.

My son resist your urge and give HER the chance to return your call.

If you don't you may run the risk of having her think of you as a scary, possessive, deparate, needy guy.

This might very well push her away.

No response is not a signal to try harder. It means... no response.

Do not take it personally.

So make sure your ego is not feeling bruised or rejected.

I do not recommend you leaving a message on her machine or voicemail.

Your voice may convey the wrong impression.

Why ?

In you current state of affectation if you call her and instead the machine answers, you will be disapointed and that will show up in your voice. You do not want to leave a message with a disapointed sounding voice since you may just sound pathetic and say stupid things.

I would say, wait until you get a response from her or better yet wait until you get a chance to see her face to face then invite her out for coffe.

Otherwise... keep occupied and do not think of her so much.

I agree with you gilliion I don't think I would have left a message 1. I'm not a type of voice mail person, when I verbally say something I usually feel more comfortable when there is a response 2. for the exact resason you mentioned of having a voice that's down and disappointed. You I don't plan on calling her again tonight.. I wll most likely call or try and see her face to face during the week to plan something over the weekend

It's very hard to progress from "friend" to something romantic. If she truly sees you as a "brother" then she's not going to want to date her "brother." You could probably have her accompany you when you go out with your other friends who have girlfriends to make things a little less awkward for you. I wouldn't pour my heart out to her. You could maybe try sending out little signals and see how she responds ; hand on shoulder, hold her hand, lean in a little closer, slow dance with her when out with your friends. It's possible that something may blossom. Don't get your hopes up but it could be worth a try. Make sure to be patient and give things lots of time.

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Originally Posted by basketb23

man, i get my hopes all up reading this, and then i go bak to reality and see that i sent her 2 texts today and no responce saying how like it would've been cool if u came last night. i wanna talk to her but dunno if i should call right now, because that would be like im too desparate .. 2 texts and a call within a day w/ no responce. especially if she doens't pick up.. 2 texts and a missed call.. woulda kinda bad... my brain is tleling me to wait later in the week but my heart is telling me to get ahold of her

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Since she evidently doesn't spend a lot of time online, how about the old-fashioned telephone? If she's not home, someone else can always give her a message that you called.