Going to keep this is as short as possible with as many details as possible! My boyfriend of over 2 years has "disappeared" and been replaced with this heinous creature! Literally! I personally think he is depressed, he doesn't sleep at night, he doesn't eat ever, he seems to want to be alone all the time and it is crushing my feelings. Here is a quick background... I will admit his life did suck for a while, he had been unemployed which put us in debt, he was really upset with himself about it. Then he got a great job in March (still has it) and also finally made it on a semi-pro baseball team. He was thrilled.. getting caught up on child support (from a previous relationship), getting bills taken care of, we moved back in together, started to working-out, kept saying how great he felt physically too! Then BOOM---- I don't know what happened... he is hateful, mean, short with me, distant and a real Grade-A Jerk! That's most of the time, every now and then I can see the man I love in there! I think he is stressed because we are playing catch up, and we just keep coming up short. But he has never acted this way before, he tells me that he doesn't understand why I stay when he treats me like this, but he thanks me for it. He says he needs me because I take care of him and he would be lost without me. He says that he wouldn't stay around if someone was treating him this way. He has stopped saying I love you, he doesn't kiss me at all anymore. We were kicking around the idea of getting married in October 2010, we had looked at rings, picked out colors, etc. But now he never mentions it, ever and if I do he changes the subject real quick! He never wants to talk about it, if I do he tells me I am nagging him and to just drop it. I am getting to my breaking point with him. My feelings are hurt everyday, he apologizes sometimes and you can tell he really means it, of course those are the good days! I adore this man, and it used to be the same for him, but I just don't know anymore. Tonight, he wants to go to the movies by himself! So my question is... where does this leave me? What do I do? I would have no problem staying with him and giving him his space if I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. So in the words of "The Clash" Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Originally Posted by Trueloveismydog

He never wants to talk about it, if I do he tells me I am nagging him and to just drop it. I am getting to my breaking point with him. My feelings are hurt everyday

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I think you answered your own question. You are clearly unhappy. You are hanging on to a relationship hoping that it will get better one day. His personality isn't going to change. He is who he is. You either accept the way he is or move on.

As a third person, I would say move on. You have been an amazing girlfriend sticking by him through all these tough times. You really deserve to be in a happy relationship. I don't know if you can find happiness with him. You might love him a lot, but you are also suffering and you deserve better than that.

Is there any chance he's seeing somebody else? His behavior is exactly like my girl friend's behavior when she began cheating on me (former relationship, many years ago). She became distant, moody, mean, etc. Began doing things without me. She denied over and over again that she was falling for somebody else... it took two months before she finally told me the truth.

If this isn't his reason for being distant and evil, he needs counseling, and maybe meds. If he refuses to address his bad behavior, then you should send him packing.

Nah, no cheating. I thought that too, I checked it out, did the confronting. Nope, that wasn't it. He used to be on an anti-depressant. I don't even know when he did come off it, for all I know that is exactly what is wrong!

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Originally Posted by Trueloveismydog

Nah, no cheating. I thought that too, I checked it out, did the confronting. Nope, that wasnt it. He used to be on an anti-depressant. I dont even know when he did come off of it, for all I know that is exactly what is wrong!

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Ahh... time for a trip to the doctor for more anti-depressants and a little chit-chat! Depression sucks, but he needs to address it... it's his responsibility.

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Originally Posted by Trueloveismydog

Nah, no cheating. I thought that too, I checked it out, did the confronting. Nope, that wasnt it. He used to be on an anti-depressant. I dont even know when he did come off of it, for all I know that is exactly what is wrong!

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It's his problem. You got to decide whether you're willing to stick by him through these tough times. From the looks of things, we can't be sure when he's going to recover. Maybe he's grown too dependent on you, so he's not putting as much effort as he needs to help himself, because he knows that you will be there for him.

With all the things that is going on in this relationship marriage should be the last thing on your mind. A ring on your finger doesn't make the problems disappear and I think you shouldn't bring up this subject to him again.

He stopped being the man you fell in love with and now he is turned into a depression partner that directs all his anger and frustrations towards you. You no longer feel love or want and all affections you use to receive from him is gone. Now you don't know if you should stay or leave.

I must say he needs help but have to want to seek help and realize he needs it. He can't tell you he don't want to lose you and he needs you by his side but treats you like crap. This relationship is unhealthy and he has to find ways to cope with his problems.

It is great that he turned his life around but his past is catching up to him. That's life! Many people are struggling nowadays rather it to pay their debt, mortgage, car payment, etc but it doesn't turn them into meanies.

Right now you have to do what is right for you and your own piece of mind. Even if that includes leaving him but it is a decision you have to make.

I think you need to leave him to his own misery, until he makes the changes he needs to improve the way he treats you, and deals with whatever his problem is. He won't do it while your putting up with his crap, that's for sure.