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-   -   Is he lying? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=361209)

  • Jun 3, 2009, 08:07 PM
    wall12
    Is he lying?
    I exchanged numbers with this guy who has been interested in me for a while recently. He told me that he was going to be out of town for a week for an annual conference but asked me if I would like to have food with him when he comes back. Although he told me that he'd call when he gets back into town, he hasn't. So I'm curious as to why he hasn't called although he is back in town... thanks
  • Jun 3, 2009, 08:14 PM
    Megan2345

    He could be busy, might have lost your number, he may have just said that to be nice and had no intention of calling you. Could you call him and see if he wanted to get together?
  • Jun 3, 2009, 08:18 PM
    ISneezeFunny

    ... why not call him?

    He like megan said, millions of things could have happened.

    Why not call him and find out?
  • Jun 3, 2009, 08:20 PM
    Nestorian

    Don't take this to hard but, the reasons are far too numerous for any of us to give you any even Half A$$ed answer.
    Example:
    MAybe he lost your number.
    Maybe he forgot.
    Maybe he met some one else.
    Maybe he was manic when he said it, but now is in a depressive state and just don't care.
    Maybe he is too shy/nervous/affraid to call.
    Maybe he is in jail.
    Maybe he is working lots.
    Maybe he got bit by a stapler and now has super powers, like stapling criminals to the wall. (Sorry, just wanted to lightend the mood. Ease up sister, and try to focus on your life, not what he is doing, as you can only change the way you choose to live. Let him do as he will, because you are a smart, independent, strong, beautiful, and interesting women. If he does call, find out his reason for not calling then, and decide if he is worth your time then.

    Take care of yourself, and watch out for "Stapler Man"! Haha.

    Good luck.
  • Jun 3, 2009, 09:06 PM
    wall12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Megan2345 View Post
    He could be busy, might have lost your number, he may have just said that to be nice and had no intention of calling you. Could you call him and see if he wanted to get together?

    It was actually over email... long story short: I went to visit him at his work but came in at a really bad time. He felt bad and emailed me apologizing. He asked me for my number and if I would like to go get food when he comes back. It just seemed promising to me lol
  • Jun 3, 2009, 09:08 PM
    wall12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Megan2345 View Post
    He could be busy, might have lost your number, he may have just said that to be nice and had no intention of calling you. Could you call him and see if he wanted to get together?

    It was through email and I just don't want to come off desperate because he did initiate it after all
  • Jun 3, 2009, 09:13 PM
    wall12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Nestorian View Post
    Don't take this to hard but, the reasons are far too numerous for any of us to give you any even Half A$$ed answer.
    Example:
    MAybe he lost your number.
    Maybe he forgot.
    Maybe he met some one else.
    Maybe he was manic when he said it, but now is in a depressive state and just don't care.
    Maybe he is too shy/nervous/affraid to call.
    Maybe he is in jail.
    Maybe he is working lots.
    Maybe he got bit by a stapler and now has super powers, like stapling criminals to the wall. (Sorry, just wanted to lightend the mood. Ease up sister, and try to focus on your life, not what he is doing, as you can only change the way you choose to live. Let him do as he will, because you are a smart, independent, strong, beautiful, and interesting women. If he does call, find out his reason for not calling then, and decide if he is worth your time then.

    Take care of your self, and watch out for "Stapler Man"!! Haha.

    good luck.



    Haha nice.. nah I know he's still around but I just thought it was sketch. I haven't been wanting to get in a relationship in like 2 years because of school and such and just thought that now would be appropriate. But I got stood up haha
  • Jun 4, 2009, 02:51 AM
    roxypox
    If you haven't heard from him and have his number... Why not calling him and see what happnes... LOl maybe it's the risk taker in me but that's the type of thing I'd do.

    1. If he doesn't call, but we had an agreement that he would... (sure it can be him standing me up, but he could also have forgotten) So if he is interesting enough I'd call and give it a try.

    2. If he sounds unineterested or is busy and can't meet... well then I'd move along and forget about it...

    3. If he sounds interested and can meet up (cofee, lunch etc.) well cool... lets go with that!

    I guess if I should ever put my life into a philosophy it's that sometimes you have to run a risk... besides if he is uniterested after sucha short time.. heck. It won't bother me that much anyway. Because I know that at least I would have showed interest and opened the door to someone who seemed interesting.

    ;)
  • Jun 4, 2009, 05:10 AM
    Romefalls19

    Try calling him, you exchanged numbers for a reason.
  • Jun 4, 2009, 03:08 PM
    Nestorian
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wall12 View Post
    haha nice..nah I know he's still around but I just thought it was sketch. I haven't been wanting to get in a relationship in like 2 years because of school and such and just thought that now would be appropriate. But I got stood up haha

    Glad you got a laugh out of that.

    "But I got stood up haha"-You Did you? I thought you said you didn't know what happened? That's not being stood up that's not knowing what happened. It's OK to feel insecure, and doubteful; but, try not to let it get you down. Just give him a call and ask if he is interested in coffee. Nothing serious, just chill and laid back. If he keeps finding reasons for not being there, then wheather he is standing you up or not, his life is too hecktic or messed up for him to "date" you. Besides he is one guy out of howmany? Billions? (Please don't give into the movie made "Love" ideals, because it's not real. Yes, there are some people who fall in love and stay together till they die, but few indeed.) Be yourself, if you don't know who that is, or you are feeling doubtful, you'd be best advised to find yourself, forgive yourself (if need be,), love yourself, respect yourself, know yourself, and then you can be yourself.

    Durning all that time in school and such, the 2 years, did you do any self discovering and learn to be comfortable just being you?

    After all, if you don't know yourself, then how can you possibly know who you want to be with, even if only casual dating? (I think that's a pretty valid question.)

    Nestorian
  • Jun 4, 2009, 03:21 PM
    I wish
    There are too many factors to consider. If you want to talk to him again, then give him a call. You guys haven't talked in so long, it's really difficult to seem desperate.

    Desperate is when you over-do something. This is under-doing something.
  • Jun 4, 2009, 03:38 PM
    goatstrings

    Screw him he lost. Move on next lol
  • Jun 4, 2009, 07:36 PM
    talaniman

    Oh give him a call. What's to lose?
  • Jun 4, 2009, 07:48 PM
    liz28

    Listen there is nothing wrong with a girl calling a guy. It is okay to go after what you want instead of wondering. Venture a little because you have nothing to lose then you will get your answer.
  • Jun 4, 2009, 07:49 PM
    Gemini54
    I second and third the above suggestions - give him a call - just don't sound too needy and don't place too much expectation on the outcome.

    Relax. A relationship will happen.
  • Jun 4, 2009, 09:50 PM
    wall12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Nestorian View Post
    Glad you got a laugh out of that.

    "But I got stood up haha"-You Did you? I thought you said you didn't know what happened? Thats not being stood up thats not knowing what happened. It's ok to feel insecure, and doubteful; but, try not to let it get you down. Just give him a call and ask if he is interested in coffee. Nothing serious, just chill and laid back. If he keeps finding reasons for not being there, then wheather he is standing you up or not, his life is too hecktic or messed up for him to "date" you. Besides he is one guy out of howmany? billions? (Please don't give into the movie made "Love" ideals, because it's not real. Yes, there are some people who fall in love and stay together till they die, but few indeed.) Be yourself, if you don't know who that is, or you are feeling doubtful, you'd be best advised to find yourself, forgive yourself (if need be,), love yourself, respect yourself, know yourself, and then you can be yourself.

    Durning all that time in school and such, the 2 years, did you do any self discovering and learn to be comfortable just being you??

    After all, if you don't know yourself, then how can you possibly know who you want to be with, even if only casual dating? (I think thats a pretty valid question.)

    Nestorian

    Yea I've had an awesome two years getting to know myself. I'm quite content with what I've accomplished and just did not really have the desire to focus on anything else (i.e relationships). But right now I am interested in getting to know him a little more, however I'm a little more traditional when it comes to relationships. From my experience, if a guy likes a girl, he actively seeks her. If he's not interested, he doesn't. Maybe that's black and white for some people; perhaps I'm totally wrong on it, but I really can't help but feel that way.
  • Jun 5, 2009, 05:22 AM
    talaniman

    I understand, but all you want is an opportunity to know someone better, not a commitment, or relationship at this time, so its okay, I think, to start up a dialog toward friendship.
  • Jun 5, 2009, 09:13 PM
    wall12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I understand, but all you want is an opportunity to know someone better, not a commitment, or relationship at this time, so its okay, I think, to start up a dialog toward friendship.

    True, but we work next door to each other (literally) so I can't help but think that he has to initiate something... there is no way that he just "forgot." I'm pretty sure he's aware
  • Jun 5, 2009, 09:51 PM
    talaniman

    Maybe he isn't into workplace relationships, as it can get messy you know.
  • Jun 5, 2009, 11:23 PM
    Gemini54
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wall12 View Post
    True, but we work next door to eachother (literally) so I can't help but think that he has to initiate something...there is no way that he just "forgot." I'm pretty sure he's aware

    I think that you're 'second guessing' this guy. How can you be 'sure' of anything? We often attribute emotions, reasons and explanations for things that other people do without any REAL idea of what those reasons emotions and explanations are.

    In any case, why should he initiate anything? That's only your perception.

    If he literally works next to you then suggest grabbing a bite for lunch. What's the point of worrying too much about it? Just do it without any expectations. You'll never know unless you try.

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