This is kind of long, so I'm 18, she's 16... I just finished my freshman year in college, she finished her junior year of high school. So basically we have been together for 1 year and 2 months. So me and her work at the same place, but I work in the back (pretty much my own office). Anyway yesterday at work I tell her lets go to the back (I hadn't seen her for a week, so I wanted to make out with your and stuff lol) So we get there and she's like we needa talk and she told me that she wants a break so she can think about things, she said her feelings for me have faded (changed), but she still loves me (does that even make sense? Her feelings are gone for me but she still loves me?). She then went on to say that maybe me and her should just be single, and that she's tired of pleasing people. She says ever since prom things have changed (ill explain that later). Then she goes like don't worry I'm not going to take our stuff off myspace. Then she gives me a hug and then I go to kiss her but then she's like no I don't want to kiss u, then she leaves.

Now ever since we started talking before going out, she was always clingy, always wanted to text and be on the phone with me. Well about the last 2 months she had lessened the amount of texts & calls to me. So this kind of raised a flag for me, but I was like eeh she is kind of busy (she had like 3 big projects). Now the last 3 weeks, we have barely talked and when we text all she ever says is "ok", its like , so do you not want to talk? Or she will text me and ill reply but then it will take her like an hour or more for her to text back. Also we don't really see each other much, but its always been like that. Because her mom has a short leash on her and she won't allow her to have a boyfriend (oldschool) so she just thinks were good friends.

Basically I see her at work and when her mom lets her go out, or when she gets out of school early. So check this out, last Friday she went out to the movies with her friends, it kind of pissed me off because I had barely seen her all week and like she's going to Disney Land with the same friends this coming Friday till Monday. I didn't even know where she was until she called me like at 10pm, waiting for her mom to pick her up. So I'm just thinking like dam you couldn't have said hey want to see me or anything? Before she always wanted to see me and such. I didn't let her know it made me mad though, I was just like o OK.

So what happened at her prom was before the prom like earlier in the day her ex texted her and he sent her pics of himself, saying o check out my new haircut you like it? Then she's like you, and tells him to send a pic of him with a beanie, but he didn't send it. She also asked him if he liked his new girl, when I read that text I was like ? She sounds like a jealous girl by asking a question like that. Then he was like well it don't seem like you want to text me so ima go and she texts him noooo! Why would she care if he texts her or not? Then another thing that pissed me off was that for her to get a pic message, she can't be talking on the phone, well guess who she was on the phone when she got that message? Me, so she hung up on me to receive the message. I know this too because before the pic message, there is a text from me saying why u hang up on me. Then to end her little conversation with her ex, she says okay well I'm on my way to prom so ill t2ul love. And he say have fun :), she says-Thanks love!

Now I read all these in the bathroom. I then texted her ex pretending to be her to see how he would act like call her baby or anything to see if they had a thing going on but no he didn't say anything really.

I found out about the texting her ex by going through her phone, because she's always so protective of it but she always goes through mine. She didn't know I went through it though. Now the only reason it bothered me that she was texting him is because they have no business together, he cheated on her, so she broke up with him and he kept calling her for like 3 months after the break, he was still calling when she was with me, but she never answered or anything according to her. So its like why would he text her way out of the blue? And why would she respond?

Now after her prom when were alone in the car I'm like were done blah blah blah, she says no baby! Why! Starts crying and everything, I tell her why did you text back? You could have ignored it and she's like I don't know why I texted back!. eventually I forgive her, and get back with her and tell her I don't trust her though, it going to take time for me to trust her again. So that's what happened at her prom. But then everything went back to normal eventually. But then she had all those projects and we barely spoke and stuff. Her prom was on may 1st by the way.

So back to yesterday, when she said ever since prom stuff hasn't been the same, because your mad at what I did. And I'm like "so i shouldn't be?" she is like "u shouldn't be", I say well I don't understand why you texted him back, she says "cuz hes my friend". I tell her "o so now u guys r friends?" She says "well ya, my bestfriends are his cousins, so i gotta like respect their family and stuff". Now I'm just thinking in my head ? Is she still talking to this fool or something? Before she thought what she did was wrong and now its like no its not.

So I call her twice and she picks up. I talked to her for a bit that's it. Then I'm like whatever I guess I won't call her or text her till she comes around. Well this morning she texts me good morning (first time she does that in a long time), but I don't text back, I wasn't sure if I should. She called like 10 times too, but I didn't pick up. I go to work and there she is, all I say is hi, she says hi too. Now eventually she goes to the back and she's like "hello!" and is acting like nothing happened yesterday, she then proceeds to sit on my lap and kiss my neck a little bit. But I wasn't sure what to do, especially since what happened yesterday. So I say what are you doing? And she's like what you want me to leave? And I say you just go back to work. So she's say fine and leaves.

Then when she's leaving work she comes to say bye and I'm still mad at her because she hella hurt me yesterday, well I say bye and she could sense I'm mad. She says wats your problem? And said u. She's like fine, says bye and leaves. Now I'm not sure if what I did is right. I really want her back. So I send her a message on myspace saying basically,
"doode i dont get u...yesterday u had a change of heart tellin me stuff how ur feelings arent there for me, ur tired of pleasing ppl,a ndu just want to be single. u dont know how much u hurt me by saying that. then today u act like nothing happened and u sit on my lap and kiss my neck and ear. yesterday u didnt even want to kiss me. look stephanie u wanted a break from me, im giving u ur space. dont contact me until u come to a decision on wat you want to do about u and i."

But she hadn't read it until now, I sent that message like at 3. So I called her at 5, she picks up and says what, I say you want to talk? She said no. So I say alrite then watever bye. She calls me back later at lik 6, saying so what you want to talk about, I tell her "so me and you is this break like still goin on and stuff? because i miss u babe, im goin crazy". She says "ya it is, you know i tried to be nice to you today but u messed up by being all mad at me and stuff" so I say "how am i not going to be mad? u in hurt me so bad." She says "why didnt u answer when i called and texted u earlier?" I said "cuz i couldn't, it hurt too much (i made that up lol, i didnt pick up because i wasn't sure if i should keep NC even if she calls and texts me). She says "watever I need to think about stuff, you do u and ima do me." so that was the end of the conversation and that where im at now.

By the way the friends shes going with are her bestfriends, the ones that are her ex's cousin. She also told me she doesn't know if her ex is going. She told me this because, she was like u don't even trust me and i told her yes, i do. Slowly i been trusting u more, and its true. So she say okay would you trust me if u knew "he" was going and I said yes I would. Then I said is he going? She said I don't know.


So you guys I don't know what to do. Im going crazy, I'm not going to lie, I really love this girl. Should I just maintain NC? Even if she texts and calls back?

So you that's the whole story... it really long but I think that way you guys can better understand the situation better

so she im'd me, I couldn't help but reply

Her- aye

Me- Aye

Her- wats up

Me- NM u?

Her- nm

Her- are you doing anything

Me- yea, reading

Her- what your reading

Me- interwebz lol sports just random stuff

Me- u hear about that eminem thing

Her- you I know

Me- man turns out it was staged

Her- I know

Me- alrite are u a encyclopedia?

Her- ahah no

Her- So how are u

Me- bad

Her- Y

Me- because u hurt me, u don't have feelings for me anymore and honestly I feel like u stabbed me in the back

Her- I'm sorry, I don't know what wrong with me

Me- u got tired of me that's what happened

her- okay ima go now, your getting me mad

me- so is this a break or a break up, I need to know

Her- it's a break, and y do u need to know? Do u have another girl waiting?

Me- no I don't have any girls waiting, I just need to know because this is really messing with my head.

Her- I just need to think about stuff

Me- I know and I told u yesterday I understand

her- well I'm sorry, ima go to sleep

Her- bye

Me- u don't care about me

Me- bye

her- yea I do I'm just upset

Her- bye

I didn't reply to her, I just thought to myself forget it. I don't know why she im'd me though since I sent her a myspace message telling her to stop contacting me until she has come to a decision of what she want to do with me and her.

Geez young fellow, you really can't expect a 16 year old young high school female to not change, and do young high school female things can you?

Look your in college and an adult and she is in high school with a lot more growing to do.

You need an adult female who can date you as an adult, and she needs to have fun and do as her mama says so she can get into college some day.

Are you understanding your on different planets at this time?

Let her go, so she can grow. Stop the contact with her so YOU can grow also.

Accept that things have changed, and make some adjustments, to move on beyond the world of high school drama. You are single and free you know.

I vote for total NC.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I vote for total NC.

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NC=no contact, even if she calls or texts me?

Yes, as any contact at all, even under the banner of friendship, will only keep the fresh wounds of the break up hurt, open even more, and you will see every thing she says, or does as hope, she cares enough that she will change her mind, and take you back. Don't go down that path of further misery, pain, and confusion.

You can be friends AFTER you have successfully healed from this break up!!!

So she called today... I didn't answer, I didn't even know she called until I looked at my fone...

Go about your business, turn the phone off for a while.

Ignore her calls, read the NC rules and FAQ's for more information

Alrite so you guys are about to spank me lol... so just when I thought day 1 of NC was pretty much over, she instant messages me and I replied... Ya I know I'm lame lol... well this is our conversation

Her- Hey
Me- hi
Her- how are you
Me- I've been better... u?
Her- Aw that's good
Her- Im okay
Her- Wat did you do today
Her- ?
Me- wats good?
Me- o nothing just gym. Work. Gym. Then home
Her- Wat
Her- Y did you say wats good
Her- * * *
Me- because you said "thats good"... I was asking you wats good?
Her- Iono you being better
Me- I said I have been better, not I am better... so you, what did you do today?
Her- Ntng I was hme then I went shooping
Me- coooool
Her- Yeaaa
Me- yaa wassup?
Her- Ntng muchhhh, U?
Me- umm nada... just that it turns out I got the wrong book for my summer skool class so I'm pretty much screwed with that
Her- Wow, Really
Me- yeppers... I got the study guide for the book lol I was like you got to be * * * * ting me
Her- Woowww
Her- Wen do you start
Me- Monday lol but I think I can only get the book online so if I order it 2moro ill get it like Tuesday da earliest
Her- Oh u shuld do it, Dam school already? Monday that sucks
Me- naaah.. im just not get nothing, just drop out... I mean its only my education
Her- lol
Me- you but its online... its only 20 days
Her- Ohhhh, I thought it was like skol skol
Me- skol skol lol, no that's not till like the 22
Her- Ohhh, I seee
Me- yup
Her- Wat you dng tmoro
Me- nothing just gym & work aka the same ole, same ole lol
u?
Her- Ionoo yet, Lol
Me- lulz
Me- brb, piss break
Me- I'm bizak
Her- Okay, Y U talk like that
Me- ahah like what?
Her- Ntng nvm
Me- alrite
Her- Okk well ima go to sleeep I'm tired
Me- OK
Her- bye
Me- gnite
Her- Okayy bye gnite take care
Me- (her name), y did you write me for?
Her- To say hi
Her- Do u not want me to write u
Her- Ill stop if you want
Her- Hello
Me- well (her name) u wanted this break, and I am giving you your space. So I mean for your best interests it wuld be best not to talk until you make up your mind. Once your mind is made up, then we can talk
Her- Wow, Are you serious wow
Her- I guesss you don't want to talk at all I'm confused OK
Her- Dam
Me- (her name) I do want to talk but I'm .fukin hurting over here... and like I don't want to get my hopes up
Her- Ok
Her- Fine
Me- okay
Her- Wow okay ill leave you alonee writeme here when you want
Her- Bye Darryl
Me- goodnight (her name)
Her- goodnight darryl

Then unexpectedly like 10 minutes later she wrote back

"nite darryl, i hope u sleep good"

So I wrote back

"thank u...sweet dreams (her name)"

Then almost immediately she says

"sweet dreams darryl"

Me- thanks.. u too sleep tite

Her- u too

Wasn't sure what to say afterwards, so I didn't reply.
I don't know but the impression I got what that once I told her we shouldn't speak until her mind is made up, it seemed like it really affected her. Like after that she began writing me faster, and kind of showed she was thinking of me more? Maybe that would explain the "nite darryl, sleep good" message, since I had thought we were done talking

She is trying to redefine the relationnship as friendship. That way she keeps you in her life, but without the commitment to romance. Your just not co operating, and giving her what she wants. It seems that's the conflict, as you see she ignores your need to heal, and make adjustments.

Quote:

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Me- (her name) I do want to talk but I'm .fukin hurting over here... and like I don't want to get my hopes up
Her- Ok
Her- Fine

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That why its important to follow your own path without her influence, as its not your healing that's a priority to her.

Back to busy and unavailable.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

She is trying to redefine the relationnship as friendship. That way she keeps you in her life, but without the commitment to romance. Your just not co operating, and giving her what she wants. It seems thats the conflict, as you see she ignores your need to heal, and make adjustments.

That why its important to follow your own path without her influence, as its not your healing thats a priority to her.

Back to busy and unavailable.

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You I kind of felt like she was categorizing me as a friend, that's y I had to just ask her like what was the purpose of her writing me. So you, this time no replying to text, calls nothing. If she wants to tell me that her minds made up & we needa talk then she would at least leave a message or a text saying so right?

You need to completely back off before she becomes convinced that your unapproachable. I cast my vote for the total NC as well, you have a ton of steam to blow off before you should even consider contact again. Even then you shouldn't! (I think you have her on a guilt trip and that is why she is still trying to contact you )

*update*
So once again after having no contact with her, thinking okay cool everything is going good, I get a call. I see its restricted so I'm like aw man either this is her or my my dad (his business phone is blocked). So I answer. Its her. But I tried to keep the conversation real short, it only lasted 3 minutes. Basically this is it-
Her- HIII!
Me- hey (me thinking in my head, "fmylife, why did I pick up lol)
Her- what you doing
Me-getting ready, I'm about to go to the gym
Her-ooo, you no on wants to go with me to the gym
Me-go by yourself, that's what I do
Her-nooo, I don't like that
Me- well I like going by myself its better, or for me it is
Her-so you... what did you do today
Me-nothin really
Her-u stay home
Me-for a little bit
Her-were you bored
Me-nah, a little
Her-ya well I'm bored
Me-hey I got to go I'm going to the gym
Her-okay bye
Me- bye

So basically lesson learned is -
1. no more picking up restricted numbers (first time she ever called me restricted, like ever... I didn't think she would do that)

Also as a side note tomorrow early morning she is going to LA (disney land) with her 3 of her girlfriends and one of the friend's family, so I don't think I'm going to be hearing from her this weekend. If I do, ignore ignore ignore! But since she's with her friends she may not panic that I'm not responding. But oh well, she won't hear from me no more until she leave a vmail or text or whatever saying something along the lines of us getting back together

Current mood- Im actually feeling pretty mood, I'm not really feeling down on myself as I was the last few days. I still think about her often and miss her though, but that's normal

As I was about to go to sleep, she texted me saying "hey"... now the question is, do I text or don't text?. naaaaah! Lol got to show her how it would be without me