Ok, I was thinking about this the other day, how women seem to want to run away from clingy men, yet sometimes (not saying all women) are attracted to jerks or some 'jerk' like qualities. And I thought to myself what would be the perfect qualities for a boyfriend/husband or just male in general, to possess? Ones that combined the good from each side, without being terribly mushy or a complete ***.

So I made this list of qualities that the clingy guy has, and the jerk has. (both good and bad) Looking for other people to add things to them and to come up with the best qualities a guy should have!

Clingy Guy:
Too clingy, needy (naturally lol)
Places too much importance on the girlfriend
Doesn't have many outside activties
Stops hanging out with friends
Isn't very busy
Expresses feelings too much, too soon
Wants to talk about the relationship
Puts more effort in than the girl does
Probably insecure, low self esteem
Probably gets jealous easily
Stops becoming a challenge



The Jerk:
Expresses little or no feelings
Treats the girl rudely, disrespectfully
Has no problems hooking up with other girls
Puts the girl on an emotional rollercoaster ride
Possibly an abuser, or just in it for sex
Cocky, overly confident
Rude to other people

Those are all I can think of for now. Please add more! SO what are the best qualities a man should possess when dating? Want input!

Hi Ranger!

You are right... we don't want clingy!

*I like a guy that plays hard to get... but not too hard to get! You want a little bit of a challenge! If they are "too clingy" and call all the time or stop to see you all the time then I get annoyed! Talking 2 or 3 times a week is good for me! Also, a guy who has hobbies is a big plus! Even if yous go for a walk, ride bikes (some sort of activity)! Don't want a guy who wants to just sit around and watch movies!

I could go on and on but... I won't!

Can't wait to hear what others say!

Then there's a third - 'The Good Guy'

Has his own life
Takes care of himself - stays in shape - grooms well
Great friends
Personality
Knows how to laugh
Important - takes on some 'jerk' tendencies - but isn't a jerk - mysterious
Hobbies
PLANS things
Doesn't have to call all the time
Knows what's important in life
Takes care of the woman - but is willing to walk away
Knows there are MANY women out there and knows he can date others
Is some what a challenge because he knows he is in demand
Confident
Busy



Every guy should aspire to be the 'Good guy'

Wildcat... I should have known that you'd come up with the (closest to) "PERFECT GUY"! This sounds like my kind of guy!

Well - that's an ideal - no ones EVER perfect obviously.

Woman go for the jerk because of his OVER confidence - and he seems great in the beginning.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Then there's a third - 'The Good Guy'

Important - takes on some 'jerk' tendencies - but isn't a jerk - mysterious

---

Hey Wildcat, can you elborate on what you mean by having jerk tenencies but not actually being a jerk? I take that to mean have a backbone but maybe I'm not sure if that's what you mean?

GREAT response so far guys! Keep it coming!

SINGLE4 - hmm that's interesting - only 2 or 3 times a week. Most of my friends who are in relationships talk or hang out with their gf's almost EVERY day! Maybe they need some advice, haha.

Wildcat, really great stuff. To go along with your 'mysterious' point I'd have to say that he shouldn't reveal all the things about him at once, leave secrets yet to be untold... I also think girls find guys who are socially outgoing and charming (not only can charm the girl) attractive

Maybe also someone whose able to listen? Not always tell the girl what she should do... some girls like to just get things off their chest, not necessarily look for someonees advice

The jerk...

:eek: totally into himself..
If he is doing a good deed believed this fact the deed involves him...
No sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice...
Term woman is replace the term s: chick, female dog, gardening tool...
Calls woman a man if she plays sports...
The woman conversation is not important...
Will place his mother ahead of wife and children...
Will not clean his own toilet seat...
Places his underwear on the floor (in view of company)...
When asked to pick up the under wear would say his house... don't like leave...

Mister I want :D :

Will run my bath warm...
Will listen to my conversations...
Will remember my birthday and the kids...
Will tell ME my hair needs help and then gives me money or the use of his credit to card to get the services...
Will say I love you...
Will do all that is necessary in the bed room to make you want to make sure he is happy in the bedroom...
Will pick up the under wear without having to be told to do so...
If there is a B**** in the room will not look to see who... just respond I agree...
Will cherish...
Ethics...
Integrity...
Moral...
Wants to grow old and fat with you...
Vote independent

I think that, for the clingy guy, you could add "Has too much of a need for others' approval." For the jerk, you could add "Totally lacks any empathy."

Jerk like tendencies... jsut meaning - he's mysterious, has a life, doesn't put the woman HIGH on pedestal, confidence, non approval seeking, has that sexy confidence that he knows what to do in bed - I've heard women say they can tell immediately if a guy is good in bed or not. That swagger - see Steve McQueen. He knows how to tease women, make fun. Knows he is a guy in demand.

They say there is somebody for everyone. To know what you want in a mate you have to start with YOU and know what you want.

I know I want someone who makes me laugh and is spontaneous. I don't want someone who tells me what to do or how to do it.

How about all my original teeth, does that count ladies? My wife says NO. So shucks.

If you can't take them out and gross us out, then I guess it should count.

Don't forget that the jerk also gets jealous easily, it is "his" girl other men are talking too.

Both the jerk and the clingy guys tend to be obsessive about their girls, however in different respects. The clingy dude tends to obsess over her because he "loves" her. The jerk tends to obsess over her because she is his property.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by J_9

Don't forget that the jerk also gets jealous easily, it is "his" girl other men are talking too.

Both the jerk and the clingy guys tend to be obsessive about their girls, however in different respects. The clingy dude tends to obsess over her beacuse he "loves" her. The jerk tends to obsess over her because she is his property.

---

Couldn't spread it J but these are good points.

Good points J9 - 'the good guy' knows there are a million other women out there - he doesn't get jealous - also because he is busy.

Perfect guy:

Perverted: but not too much the perfect amount just to joke around about it and be funny
Dorkish: so you could be stupid together and not care
Spazzy: so you can make fun of each other and know its true not too spazzy or he''l be annoying though
Protective: willing to do anything to keep you smiling
Super sweet: holds your hand when your down hugs you whenever you want I know this part sounds weird but its nice... pets your head when hurt or sick
Smexin: sexier than sexy that doesn't mean hot it means his personality is hot
Cuddly: u need somebody to hug and cuddle with when you feel like it
Passionate: will only go out with someone if he REALLY liked u

My best friend is a guy(hes not gay)he has these qualities and I'm totally in love with him but am not going to risk losing what we have I know it sounds like a cliché or something from a movie but its true he is the best person in the world but I hate that I know I can't have him :'( it almost brings me to tears how much I love him but I just can't do it...