Hi,
I've been with my partner for almost 3 years. For the entire time that I have known my boyfriend he has been extremely sexual and interested in sex, but for the last 1 1/2 years he's been less and less interested. It is gotten to the point now, that he masturbates daily (libido still ok) but NEVER initiates sex or sexual acts with me. Its been going on for at least a year like this... I can dress up, send dirty messages to him or strip down completely naked in front of him but still nothing... he just plays it down.

I have needs - and its not about orgasming - I just want to get some of that in return. I can't remember the last time he told me I was sexy or he acted like he couldn't get enough of me.
We still get along great and enjoy each others company, but I'm starting to feel more like a friend than a girlfriend...

Should I break it off? I've talked to him about it so many times but he just puts it down to either working too much or feel self conscious because of his weight. Its starting to feel just like one excuse after another... :confused:

PS. I would've thought this complaint would come from more men than women!

Both men and women have this issue.

Perhaps a sexy vacation is in order. If his excuses revolve around being overworked or tired then perhaps a secret getaway is the answer. Perhaps suggest that.

Do the two of you work opposite hours? Do you get to see each other most of the day?

Do you play with each other outside the bedroom? Frisbee, kite-flying, blowing bubbles type play. Get outside, find a park, go play.

His weight and stress will come down, his energy will come up, and he'll be able to see you again instead of "girlfriend, cute, one each"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by valavilVM

first make Love, slow motion Love and then fast, It is easy to get excitement. all the best

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I don't really see how this is helpful if she's saying that he's not interested in having sex with her. She's asking for ways to bring back the spark.

Tekkas, I think both Chi and Cats make some good points. It at least sounds like you have a solid relationship and I'm going to assume that you don't think his lack of interest means he's getting his loving elsewhere. So we'll go from there...

You seem to be doing the right things. Has he had any major changes in his life? (new job/loss of job, death of loved one, weight gain, etc) Sometimes life can cause people to lose focus and not feel "sexy" even though they still have the need to just 'get off' sometimes.

One thing I've realized that often women forget... tell him how sexy he is to you! So many of my guy friends say that their wives/girlfriends don't tell them they're still attractive. They like hearing it as much as we do. Everyone loves reassurance.

Are you still "dating" do you go out, do you spend time like you did 3 years ago.

Routine happens in relationships.
Plus perhaps he has had a performance issue due to his weight or health and is ashamed to admit it.

Nicosmom has some real good points I am where your at at present and I have these expectations, I want to be told I'm special I'm loved wanted needed but hands up I don't, I Spose I see it as his role! On my thread it was suggested to go out and talk, I normally get so hurt by the rejection I respond in anger, like you I have needs and my needs are valid I don't think he's even aware that this is affecting me so I am going to try something new and let him know how this is making me feel 'calmly' good luck x

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