My mom and dad are having problems, my dads always been grouchy and mean to my mom. He never wanted to do anything fun with her , he was never really happy on family occasions. And every little thing would bother him. Except now the thing is that he's really trying hard to make her happy, its like he's changed very much after his operation, I think it made him realise how short life is. The only problem is that my mom thinks he's too late and that he shouldve changed a long time ago. I tried to convince my mom that she's just going through a phase but she thinks she's really not in love with my dad anymore.shes also surrounded by people who are divorced and tell her how happy and free they are. I'm suppose to see her tonight for us to talk ,I'm only 16 and I'm not sure what I should bring up to make her stay with my dad, I tried the do it for the kids me my 12 year old brother and 10year old sister but she keeps on saying well get through , frankly I wouldn't like them to be apart and seeing my dad so sad makes me sad. Please help, what should I say to make her change her mind?

Very likely she has stayed all these years for 'the kids' so it most likely will not do any good to try and keep her with somebody that she is no longer in love with. Most likely she feels he cheated her out of life and probably has resentment. It is hard to love and be intimate with someone who was never there for you and now wants to make it work.
Even then in her mind she is probably thinking that its still all about him and what he wants.

No matter what your mom decides you need to be supportive. I don't think trying to persuade her is good to do. Tell her how you feel and let her pour her heart out if she wants but don't try to make her feel obligated.

I have always said it. Divorce is the hardest on the children. Personally I think you need to talk to a professional. Either a minister or school counselor would be a good start. I went through divorce when I was 7 years old. Mom turned out to be a drunk and had no interest in me. It took me almost 50 years to realize that and get the help I needed. Please don't make that same mistake. YOUR PARENTS PROBLEMS ARE NOT YOUR FAULT! Please do not make yourself feel or even think that. They are the ones with problems, and they are the ones that need to fix their problems.

I know what its like, I've been there. Fortunately I was about 5 when my parents divorced so I didn't really know what was going on exactly, untilo I was older anyway. But unfortunately still really don't know why and I still have to live with it everyday.

To be honest with you, pretty much all you can do is let your parents work it out and try to go on no matter what happens. If they do get a divorce, its going to be hard, but just hang in there because in the end it will all be OK.

And there is really nothing that you can do about it, just know its not your fault and let life take its course. Everything happens for a reason and if you keep that in mind you will be OK.

This thread is from May 2009, long dead.

I'm sure if you take another look you can find something more recent where someone will actually read your answer.