My wife does not like my grandson (her step-grand) who lives with us.
What can I do to make their relationship better HELP

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

The first thing you need to do is understand WHY she doesn't like him. Then you can see about repairing the relationship.

Chances are she's verbalized what her issues are. Have you addressed them?

If she feels a lack of privacy, there should be some rules about respecting privacy that must be enforced by everyone. If she is annoyed by constant mess, there should be expectations about cleaning up. If she feels that she never has time alone with you, you need to make sure she gets that time alone with you. Maybe she needs a dinner out each week with just you, or you and friends - without the child and his parents. Or perhaps she wants the house to herself sometimes - can you take everyone out for a day now and then so she can just do her thing and have the house to herself? Is she annoyed by the television selections? What about having another television in another room?

It's hard to know what is causing her distress. I doubt she dislikes the child - she probably dislikes some aspect of life at home that creates stress, or a loss of privacy or peace that she needs.

Really listen when she speaks to you, and see what you can do to facilitate improvements to make her more comfortable in the household.

Children can be very loved and still drive us nuts - she may just need a break.

Ask her - and if you've asked her already and haven't gotten an answer, ask her again.

Rather than reading something into her behavior, I'd get to the root of this.

A friend of mine had difficulty with a stepchild until she realized that the child was a constant reminder of the mother and she was able to understand her resentment and ease off.

How old is your son? If he is at a difficult age in life, and she has no children of her own, she may be having a hard time adjusting to parenthood of a child she didn't see grow. Most parents have the chance to adjust to their child's personality and indocrynises (I hope I spelled that right! And I hope you know what I mean!)

My daughter was 3 when I met my husband and they had a hard time. Because I had slowly adjusted to my daughters personality and quirks and additude as she grew up. He did not. So he came head first into a very strong willed stubborn little girl with A lot of little girl additude.


Oy I'm rambling. My point is, give her some time. You didn't say how long she has been his step mom but sometimes all it takes is time.

1, why does the grandchild live with you in the first place, are those issues a problem

2. what speicificly is her issues.

3. during the months or more that you dated, having the child with you I would guess, how as the relationship then , and has it changed