So he's returned to his home state after spending a 10 day vacation with me ~ all went well aside from a couple minor arguments/misunderstandings (we got through them well, actually). He's told me how much he'll miss me and how sorrowful he felt leaving me... But now he's been having such a great time with his buddies that I'm beginning to wonder how sincere he really was.

He went to a baseball game with his buddy the 2nd night back - Went to a luncheon with some old colleagues today and then spent about 8 hours at a smoke shop he frequents because there was going to be a rep from a new cigar company ( a woman, no less). Also, he bought 6 boxes of cigars because he 'said' he got 2 free by buying 2 boxes, so he buys 6? Geez. I can't help but wonder if he bought the 6 boxes for show or were they really that good?

It really bothered me when he told me he hadn't eaten and just drank bottled water. Then after telling me an old friend stopped in I had asked, Oh so did he bring a nice wine? And without realizing he told me a white lie, said: 'Oh yes he did ~ a nice Cabernay. It wasn't a very expensive one and not very strong really.' (I silently smirked, but didn't point out his inconsistency/white lie).

Anyway, tonight I'm feeling a bit uneasy and just need some good advice. I really do hate feeling envious of his good time(s)... what can I do to keep my heart from hurting?

Just because he is having a good time back home doesn't mean that he isn't missing you! You can't really expect him to put his life on hold and pine for you when he is not with you.. and I urge you to get out and have some fun too!

What exactly did you mean by his white lie?

I think you are very jealous at the moment, and jealousy is NEVER a good thing... it will ruin things quicker then you will know. How do you know that is was a girl serving him at the cigarette shop.. or is it just you imagining it?

Cut the guy some slack and trust him. Long distance relationships are always going to be hard and if you don't trust him 100% then maybe you need to rethink your situation and your relationship and maybe this just isn't the time for you guys to be together?

First off, it wasn't a lie. It was a little detail that he forgot about. If I don't think something is a big deal, I'm certainly not going to remember it. There have been countless times where after my fiancé reminds me of something, then I remember the details.

Do you walk around with a pen and paper writing down every little detail that happened in your day? Who cares, he had some wine at a smoke shop. He is out enjoying his life, you have no one to blame but yourself. Why not go out with friends instead of sitting at home dwelling on the fact that he's out

[QUOTE=Romefalls19;1764426]First off, it wasn't a lie. It was a little detail that he forgot about. If I don't think something is a big deal, I'm certainly not going to remember it. There have been countless times where after my fiancé reminds me of something, then I remember the details.

Thank you for this eye opening reply - yes, you're absolutely right. I'm about to put some fun into my own life instead of worrying about the fun I wished he wasn't having without me.

Thanks again.

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Originally Posted by pixiegurl

Just because he is having a good time back home doesn't mean that he isn't missing you! You can't really expect him to put his life on hold and pine for you when he is not with you.. and I urge you to get out and have some fun too!

What exactly did you mean by his white lie?

I think you are very jealous at the moment, and jealousy is NEVER a good thing... it will ruin things quicker then you will know. How do you know that is was a girl serving him at the cigarette shop.. or is it just you imagining it?

Cut the guy some slack and trust him. Long distance relationships are always going to be hard and if you don't trust him 100% then maybe you need to rethink your situation and your relationship and maybe this just isn't the time for you guys to be together??

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Thank you for this - he did tell me it was a woman. But you're right about cutting him some slack ~ it is the best thing to get out and have some fun too, and I will begin that.

Trust is difficult in a long distance relationship, its quite a test really. Thanks again.

It's only been a few days and you already have so many concerns. Maybe the first few days of long distance is a killer, because you really miss him, but he's out having fun. You should be going out too.

You probably feel a bit jealous that he can have so much fun, but you're stuck at home worrying about him.

Do your own thing. Go out and have fun. It's summertime.

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Originally Posted by I wish

It's only been a few days and you already have so many concerns. Maybe the first few days of long distance is a killer, because you really miss him, but he's out having fun. You should be going out too.

You probably feel a bit jealous that he can have so much fun, but you're stuck at home worrying about him.

Do your own thing. Go out and have fun. It's summertime.

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Wonderful reply! Yes I agree and will stop wallowing in my own defeatus attitude. Summertime is for having fun. Thanks again.