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-   -   Dilema (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=3588)

  • Mar 14, 2003, 03:27 PM
    open_to_u
    Dilema
    I have very little contact with my bros. And sisters due to a fallout . Now the oldest bro. Calls me asking to help support my mom (78 yrs), who lives off soc. Sec. The thing is she lives w/ dad but their relationship is shot . They"re together out of necessity even though they don't communicate much. They live comf. In their house , no large bills other than bare necessities. They live in Mex. So the dollar goes farther .Mom has'nt asked for any money from me. Should I be obligated to pitch in like the others? What's the moral thing to do?
  • May 16, 2003, 02:30 AM
    chaz1797
    Dilema
    The moral thing to is she brought in to this world so now it's time to pay her back, no matter what the problems are with your siblings.come on that's your mom and mom is only one...


    Chaz
  • Jun 5, 2004, 10:39 AM
    sweety
    Dilema
    No mata how bad family problems get you should always fulfill duties including helping your family in the time of need. :)
  • Jul 24, 2004, 03:16 PM
    Jahiem28
    Dilema
    Hello I agree with everyone of this one you have to set aside your differents on this one and help out your mom. SHe deserves to enjoy her later years her on earth GOOD LUCK GOD BLESS
  • Oct 26, 2004, 01:20 AM
    liucong1984
    Dilema
    If you don't want to feel regretful in future, try your best to help your mom.
  • Nov 9, 2004, 01:30 AM
    MagikPoo
    What the hell...
    So you have a problem with your family, and you were NOT asked to be born, you have no obligation to them if they don't ask for your help.

    Do they really need your help? And since your brother called you out of the blue to help, ask yourself, "Is this fall out with them all worth it?"

    I know that f@#ked up family memebers do exist, and to some of those that grew up in this world where your familys repected your hopes and dream, in others there stagnent lives stood still because of skrewed up parents. So now that you have aproched this aspect of your life, if you do help them will they respect the person that you have become?
    And if they don't you don't really need to be around them.

    It sound to me that you have reservations on all of this. Consider what I have said and run with what ever you decide. Not what others think.
  • Nov 9, 2004, 08:46 AM
    wearelistening
    Helping Mom?
    If you are not close with your family, then you might not know the entire situation about your mom.
    You say that you feel she's pretty comfortable with her social security... maybe that's on the surface.

    Call your mother, or visit her.
    You assess the situation, and make a decision based on what YOU find and hear and see. Your obligation isn't to your brothers and sisters, so don't worry about the family feud with them.
    Your mother is the only one you've got. And even though you have brothers and sisters, you are the only YOU that your mother has.

    Maybe this is a sign that the family feud has gone on long enough. Maybe this is the olive branch that will smooth things over between you and your siblings. Don't get me wrong... the past is hard to forget, not to mention forgive, and I'm not saying that you need to do either.
    But you can all be adults about the situation and come together as a family if your mother needs help.

    Do what you feel is right in your heart. Don't let your anger make you do something you'll regret after your mother goes to her final resting place.
    Be the bigger person and do what you feel is right.
    Bite your tongue if you have to, and be civil and polite.

    Your siblings have your blood in their bodies. You have theirs. That's a bond that should never be broken--but sadly, it happens.
    There are times when mean or ignorant family members create tension that others just can't deal with and arguing, spitefulness, and eventually not speaking to each other develops.

    Listen to your heart. Put the shoe on the other foot. Put yourself in your mother's place. Think how difficult it might have been for your brother to call you to ask for help.

    Good luck. Remember, live each day as though it's your last. Have no regrets, and have lots of smiles. Don't let the unimportant weigh you down, keep your head up and your heart free. You'll do the right thing.

    Amy

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