I found that my husband has been searching for an ex girlfriend on his work computer. When I confronted him he said he can't remember doing and that he must have been curious! He has also been using social networking site a lot should I be worrie he is cheating ?

A simple, ''I must have been curious'' I would say that is possible.

The, ''He can't remember doing that" along with the social networks (dating & chat sites?) I say he is MORE than curious.

Well, you know your hubby better than any of us. You already asked him about it and he explained to you why he was looking for her. Do you have trust issues in your relationship? Looking or someone one line can be very harmless, yet you are suspicious?

I don't see the big deal and I would not be concerened with cheating, from a simple search online but then again I'm not you.

I think you should just relax now if it progresses to meetings between the two of them assuming he finds her than you may begin to question his fedility.

Well why did they split? Was it bad terms or whatever. Maybe he is just curious. I have looked up ex-boyfriends before but not because I am interested in any relationship. Mostly to see where they are in life or how they look today after all these years. Maybe that's what he was doing. But I would keep my eyes out for any changes in his behavior in case he does find her.

Maybe you're right and he might still have feelings for his ex or maybe he just wanted to see how she's doing, since he was connected to her at some point and I'm guessing that you don't know the reason they broke up. But there's no way to be sure, so there's no point making so many assumptions.

He's definitely more than curious. I think he's just scared that you will be pissed at him if he talked about his ex. Just confront him again and don't jump to conclusions too fast.

I am ( well over 50) and I have looked up a lot of old girlfriends and a ex wife or two during my years. Normally it is just nosey on how they are doing. I like to find out I am doing better than they are, or even check on a old high school foot ball star to find out what they ended up like.

So cheating?? HUMM?? Lying most likely for some reason.

I think your reading into this a bit, although I do understand your concern.

With social networking sites beingwhat they are it is quite easy to resume talking to people from years ago. I think it is quite normal to want to see what others are doing and such. I think at thispoint it is just curiosity, the majority of people on these sites are there to spy and check in on lost friends or lovers.

Finally, the fact that he is searching for her would indicate he has yet to find her and so I doubt he is cheating at this point. He's embarrassed that you brought it up so he said he couldn't remember. I'd relax a bit and keep an eye out but not overdo it at this point. You may well find out this ex is happily married with children.

As stated earlier you know your husband better than any of us and I will always say that it is important to go with your first mind. What does your gut tell you?

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Originally Posted by Anita Economide

I found that my husband has been searching for an ex girlfriend on his work computer. When I confronted him he said he can't remember doing and that he must of been curious! He has also been using social networking site a lot should I be worrie he is cheating ?

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I've tried looking up people from my past as well just to see if I could find out where they might be and what they have been up to. The not remembering doing it part might be a bit odd, but perhaps he felt a slight twinge of guilt even though he was just curious. I'd be more concerned about using a social networking site "a lot". He still might have just been curious, but then I'd expect it to be a one off... not repeated visits. However, it depends on what sort of social networking site you are talking about. There are sites for people with specific hobbies, various interests, etc. or are you talking singles and/or dating sites?

I'd be less concerned about the looking and more concerned about the lying.

You said that he had been doing these things on his work computer- I was just wondering why you had reason to be on that computer.

My husband also has a work computer, I'd never snoop on it. That would be sort of like going through his wallet, or him through my purse.

Do you share a home computer?

Just curious as to how you 'found out' as you said, that he had been doing a search, and had been on social networking sites.

Well then maybe there was a reason for the snooping, maybe signs it was more.

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Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Well then maybe there was a reason for the snooping, maybe signs it was more.

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I still don't find this to be an excuse to snoop - I don't care what signs/signals/indications there are. I find this type of behavior to be very intrusive.

Of course, we don't know the whole story here and I'm just basing this on what has been posted.

I am not by any means justifying the snooping. I guess what I meant was if your put in a spot where your worried or think your spouse may be cheating or close to it, that stress can make you think or act out of the norm. So maybe this was the case. We don't know the full story.

I agree with JudyKayTee. He may not have cheated but it looks like maybe he's entertaining that idea. Or he could just be interested in looking into people from his past. Few people haven't googled their exes to see what they are up to - natural curiosity. Trying to establish contact, or generally casting a net to meet women would be much more concerning, as would lying about what he's doing.