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-   -   Cheating boyfriend. What to do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=358724)

  • May 28, 2009, 05:54 AM
    EmmaX
    Cheating boyfriend. What to do?
    Hiya!

    Am 18 yrs old. Been with ma boyfriend since I was 15, been through a hell of a lot together and has been the best relationship I've been in. First few months I cheated on him (kissed my ex) but it did actually mean nothing and I regretted it deeply. He forgave me and I did nothing but try and make it back up to him since. After we had been together for 2 year he cheated on me again, and lied about it. Kept me in the dark for 5 months until I eventually found out. I was heartbroken because it was his ex who he had been with for about a year previously before he'd met me and they had only fell out due to reasons they could not control. I forgave him as it seemed only right but then on Sunday there I just found out he'd slept with somebody else on Saturday night. We had been arguing and I was going out with ma friends for a drink.. he ended up ruinin my night he went to the same pub as me and practically threw himself at this girl right in front of my face, I was upset and went home. He said he was coming to my house after it so we could work things out. I waited up till he came.. but he didn't came to 4 oclock in the morning and he send me a text saying he was at a mates. I then found out the girl and her pal had went back to his pals house and they had sex in his bed. I am completely gutted. I spent the full week crying over him but I've made back up with him. But Im not sure I'm doing the right thing? I love him to bits but it hurts me so much. I would never ever ever do anything like that to him. Please help :(
  • May 28, 2009, 05:55 AM
    EmmaX

    Oh and he didn't wear any protection and he came up her :( I don't know and he doenst know if she's on the pill or not :( and he is getting checked for sti's
  • May 28, 2009, 05:56 AM
    I wish

    His feelings for you have changed. If he's willing to cheat on you so many times, it means he's ready to face the consequences. He's just keeping you around as safety net or he's too scared to break up with you.

    The trust is broken. Why continue torturing yourself. Break up and move on.
  • May 28, 2009, 06:03 AM
    liz28

    Love isn't suppose to hurt.

    Why stay with a cheater?

    Why do you keep taking him back?

    Don't you know you can do better?

    People only do what you allow them to do to you. This guy knows he can cheat and your forgive him once he butter you up with sweet talk.

    Leave and don't look back but stay if you want to be with a cheater because he will continue to cheat and he doesn't want to change.

    The decision is yours.
  • May 28, 2009, 08:13 AM
    N0help4u

    You love him and he loves to cheat.
    Not only is he cheating with his ex he is cheating with anybody he feels like cheating with.
    He is a cheater. This is not a one time mistake.
    It is his character, his pattern, his lifestyle.
    He sees you are willing to keep taking him back so why stop!
    You love him but you need to realize that he is not loving you back with the same respect.
    I see it all the time girls say they love the abusive guy and they can't get over them no matter what they did to them. Girls with black eyes because they didn't clean the house or whatever say, ''But I love him''

    Why put yourself through all the cheating for love when you can find somebody that can love you back?
  • May 28, 2009, 09:16 AM
    EmmaX

    Thanks for all your answers, it's really making me see the bigger picture and I am going to take on board what you's are saying and try get away from him! Thanks again xx
  • May 28, 2009, 09:27 AM
    talaniman

    You sound like you love yourself enough, to be good to yourself, and I wish you luck!
  • May 28, 2009, 09:29 AM
    EmmaX
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You sound like you love yourself enough, to be good to yourself, and I wish you luck!

    Erm not entirely sure what you meant by that I sound like I love myself but thanks anyway
  • May 28, 2009, 09:45 AM
    MsMewiththat

    Move on. Don't allow for someone to take you for granted like that. You deserve better, at minimum someone that will not cheat on you. What's interesting at your point in life is that you are setting the pace for the rest of your life, don't start bad habits, they may become difficult to break. Move on now and set the bar higher for the next man that enters your life. Your young and should be spending your time enjoying life not worrying about what someone else's choices are and how they affect you. Live it... ENJOY!
  • May 28, 2009, 10:12 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by EmmaX View Post
    thanks for all your answers, it's really making me see the bigger picture and I am going to take on board what you's are saying and try get away from him! Thanks again xx

    I meant that your mind is open, and your looking at things in a realistic way. By loving yourself, you can see when someone is BS'ng you, and not fall for it.
  • May 28, 2009, 02:43 PM
    Bonita--
    I agree with N0help4u, he is a cheater and it is his character. He will most likely never change because if he did care about you and if he felt sorry for cheating then he would stop after he did it the first time. I hope you stay away from him and move on to someone who will treat you better. You should also get tested for STD's/HIV just to be safe.
  • May 28, 2009, 02:48 PM
    none12345

    No matter how much it hurts been cheated on, you got to pick yourself up and go on with your life. I don't think I can be with a cheater, and it is really hard to forgive. I think you should move on and find someone that is faithful to you only. Have you heard the phrase? Once a cheater always a cheater? Hope this helps/
  • May 28, 2009, 08:23 PM
    chuff
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by EmmaX View Post
    Am 18 yrs old. been with ma boyfriend since I was 15, been through a hell of a lot together and has been the best relationship ive been in.

    Emma, your 18 and you've been with this guy for 3 years and you say it's been the best relationship you've been in... which begs the question, when did you start dating? It also begs the obvious point, you have no idea what a good relationship is. Part of it is you're young and part of it is you are basing a good relationship on one very horrible relationship. Ironically enough that relationship is crappy. My point here is that you have no idea what a good relationship is and you are never going to learn by staying in one that has no value what so ever.

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