My hubby and I been togather for 7 years and when we were just dating he cheated on me 4 times and now that were married and have 2 beautiful baby girls. When we get into are fights I always have to bring it up and I can't seem to forget about it. I love him more then words can express but thats always on my mind and I dont want him to leave me just couse I can't let it go hes tired of me always being mad. I dont know what to do its not that eazy to forget. He did it ones how do I know he wont do it again... :(:(:(:(

While you were just dating he cheated on you 4 times?
Then you married him and vowed to love and cherish, vowed, and to have sex with only him. Then he vowed to love and cherish you and only have sex with you.
Now when you get into fights with him, you throw his past cheating in his face.
He is tired of your anger.
You can't seem to let it go even though it's hurting your relationship.
If he did it once, how do you know he won't do it again?
Is that right?

First, love and cherish does not mean throwing a word tantrum meant to hurt, show up or quiet another. Then remember that that was then, this is now. What do you want in your relationship right now? What parts of that are you already getting? What can you do to be the best person, wife and mom you can be? How can you catch yourself before putting a foot in your mouth when the discussion heats up?

How do you know that he won't do it again? You don't know. But making him angry by singing the same negative tune won't help.

Marriage counseling would be helpful. Is he willing to go with you?

It is obivious you forgave him since you married him after he cheated on you while dating.

You need to let go and if your really finding it hard to then maybe counseling is in order instead of holding this over his head.

Do you only bring it when your upset with him?

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Originally Posted by Beautiful_Jenn

I dont know what to do its not that eazy to forget. He did it once how do I know he wont do it again... :(:(:(:(

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Marriage counseling. You have a family now, maybe he's changed. Who knows, but throwing the past in his face will only cause trouble. Again, counseling will help.

Aaaaagh... I feel as if my eyes have had the pupils burnt out of them...

You have no way of knowing if your husband is going to remain faithful to you, but it does sound as if you have huge problems in letting things go.

It is easy to forget if you choose to. The reason you can't forget is because you choose not to. Ask yourself why. What do you gain by continually bringing this up?

Are you still punsihing him?
Is it your way of controlling him?
Are you incredibly insecure?

Essentially you are the problem, because you keep obsessing about it.

Do yourself a favour. Find out why or you will never be at peace.

You chose to forgive and forget when you said I do, you can't keep bringing up the past and expect him not to get angry over it. This is your problem, not his. You could have walked away after the cheating, you chose to stay which means you forgave him, not stop making him pay for his past mistakes.